Teenagers and Grades and Parents

@devideddi (1436)
United States
January 7, 2007 9:31pm CST
My son got another bad grade on this progress report. He got a F in math his best subject. His friend got tickets to a ballgame and invited him to go along. I say no, it dont matter ballgame or anything, no privleges till the grade comes up. That can be as soon as one week. My husband overules me and says he can go. Says he never gets chance to see game like this and it will be ok. I am so mad. He never backs me up with the dicipline. What do you think? Should I be mad! Am I not right?
4 responses
• Canada
8 Jan 07
I think it might have been ok to let him go to the ballgame IF you and your husband had discussed it and made the decision together (i.e., let him go to the game because it was a special event and take away a different privilege in regards to the math grade). I would be mad, too, if I had already disciplined one of the kids and then my husband told them to forget it. All that does is teach the kids to play both ends against the middle. He weakens your authority in your son's eyes because it gives the impression that, if you lay down the law and he doesn't like it, he can then go to your husband to "fix it." Parenting's hard enough, these days... if there are two parents in a household, they really need to work as a team, as much as possible.
@devideddi (1436)
• United States
16 Jan 07
yes yes yes thats just what i mean! the kids do play us! When i talk to hubby he says ok and agrees a little then turns around and does it again later. aahhh I dont know why he don't understand this. thanks
@xcmatx (173)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Well sure you shouldnt be completely okay with this. But your husband may be right. Just make sure that if he does go, you can discipline him in another way. Take away something, put a limit on something, change of curfew, be more strict on grades and everything else.
@devideddi (1436)
• United States
16 Jan 07
yes i will do something like that. thanks
• United States
23 Jan 07
Yes, I'm with you. That isn't right to undermine you. To avoid that in the future, discuss it first with husband, without your son around. Decide on something, but both of you will have to stick to it for your son's sake.
• United States
16 Jan 07
In our house,my husband and I back each other up on the punishment. If I say one is grounded he will not go in behind me to change it. It shows them that you two are a team instead of being seperate. They can use you two against each other if you two are seperate in situations. Yes I would be mad. It shows you have no authority when it comes to putting your foot down about education. Besides isn't education and their future more important than a ballgame?