Am i a bad parent?

Philippines
January 11, 2007 8:20am CST
Im only 17 when i got pregnant and i just turned 18 when i had my first baby. i feel sorry for my child because i even tried to abort her. now she is 2 years old and i feel i always neglect her. i never hated my daughter. i even feel sorry for her that she had me as a mother. is it that im still young that im acting like this. im really not prepared to handle such things. i try to be a good parent but sometimes my temper gets the best of me. i shout at her and not pay attention when she's crying or she wants something. but i'm very fortunate that she's really a good girl. she loves me very much. could you guys give me some insights on how can i play my role more realistic
4 responses
@maribel1218 (3085)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
No you are not a bad parent. I myself sometimes yells at my 3 year old son when he keeps on shouting and crying, but it does not measure we are bad parents, all I can say is that when they are in tantrums we keep calm first ourselves before we reacted to them. All you need is quality time together not just watching tv all day, sometimes you must take her to the zoo, to the park or the places she never been before. Teach her nursery ryhmes and talk to her frequently on a soft spoken manner, most of all teach her a prayer before meal and bedtime. hope this help.
1 person likes this
@samson1967 (7422)
• India
11 Jan 07
You are playing your role as mother like all the mothers. It is quite common in my country to conceive at the young age, some cases even at 14. Your explanation, evidences that you love your daughter heartily, and concern about her well being. Mothers heart for children will never be hard. Stay cool and hug her often, to enhance the bondage.
1 person likes this
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
11 Jan 07
First of all, I think it's good that you've admitted your faults as a parent and want to work towards correcting them. With that said ... I think you realize that yelling at your 2 year old child or ignoring her when she cries are serious matters. In fact, depending on where you are, it's neglect and your child can be removed from your care by child protective services. For that reason, I think it's important that you get help as quickly as you can. You obviously love your daughter or you wouldn't be concerned in the first place. First of all, age has nothing to do with it. I had my first son at 18 .. actually, he was born the day after my 18th birthday. I'm now just about to be 30, and I have five gorgeous kids. My husband and I adore family life and I've made a point of being the best parent I can be .. I take my job quite seriously. Being a mother can be the most rewarding experience there is, but sometimes extra help is needed. Check your community for parenting classes, these are a wonderful help! They can help you organize your time better, learn techniques that will make your job much simpler. Make sure you get some time to yourself, as well. Organize a baby sitter for even an hour a week, where you can get out and just go for a walk .. take a break for yourself. Becoming over stressed is a main concern for young parents, and you need to learn to recognize when it's just your stress level interfering with your parenting. Take breaks, and you'll appreciate the time spent with your daughter even more so. Do you have family that can help you, watch her for short periods of time, or offer their experiences? Sometimes this can be a huge help, just listening to other points of view and other techniques from parents who have been there and done that. I wish you the best of luck, but urge you to find outside help quickly. Not only for the concern of your daughter, but for yourself as well.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Feb 07
I don't think you are a bad parent. Maybe you just feel like that because it's still your first baby and still adjusting. I believe all moms experience the stage that you are experiencing right now. Although i have not become a mom yet, but my sister's experience is some kinda the same as yours. She also became pregnant at age 23 and once, it came to her mind to abort the child. Good thing, she didn't do that. When her baby was born, she began to love him but there were also times that she told me she had tough times adjusting her time with her baby. My mom once advised her that it's just normal. Just don't hurt the baby so much or say anything that could really really hurt her because there are cases wherein when they get older, they would not forget the most painful experience they had when they were young. I guess it's a learning experience for you. I know you will be able to learn on how to handle her. Just always be thankful that you have her around. Babies are angels.