Anger Management - This is So FUNNY!!
January 12, 2007 9:27am CST
When I have the occasional bad da and need to take it out on someone, I don't take it out on my loved ones anymore... I got the idea one day when I was sitting on my desk and remembered a call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. May I speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slamed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're a butthole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my theraputic 'butthole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling ot see if you're interested in the Caller ID program." He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a butthole!"One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and puled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "for sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple days later, right after calling the first butthole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW butthole too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?""Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked out front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after 5." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're a butthole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two buttholes to call. But, after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Butthole #1. "Hello." "You're a butthole!" (But, I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "Butthole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, and my black Beamer parked in the front."He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And, you better start saying your prayers."I said, "yeah, like I'm really scared, butthole."Then I called Butthole #2. "Hello?" he said. "Hello, butthole," I said. "He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are!""You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your butt," he exclaimed. I ansered, "Well, butthole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."Then I hung up and immediately called the policel, saiying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over ther to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 2 News about the gang war going down on West 34th street. There I saw two buttholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew. Now, I feel better.
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