What would happen if the right to choose was taken away?

United States
January 12, 2007 4:52pm CST
Is it me or has everyone forgotten about adoption? So many children would be born each year if the right to choose was taken away. How many of those children that would be born would affect the life of the mother in a detrimental way? Remember, not everyone is married, has a supportive family or a supportive partner in these cases. How many young mothers (or even older ones) would be able to handle feeding one more mouth, cloth and house one more child or continue to educate them? I think that right to life activists should each adopt at least ONE child that would have been aborted with NO support (emotional or financial) and see how it goes.
6 people like this
33 responses
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
12 Jan 07
That standpoint has always made sense to me, for a very basic reason. Pro-life advocates standpoint is their concern for the unborn child. They, by default, yell to choose adoption instead of abortion, forgetting that still negates the woman to endure 9 monthes of gestation, labor, delivery, all of the health risks, both physical and mental that accompany those, and the lasting effects left over from having a child. Also forgetting that the adoption system is already full of children that noone adopts. It's a proven fact that the only children to quickly be adopted are perfectly healthy, non mixed breed babies. The rest often end up spending their lives in the system. And anyone who's familiar with this system will tell you it's no place for a child to grow up. So, it seems simple enough to me. If a person feels worthy enough to try and dictate to another what choices they should make in order to save these unborn babies, then they should put their money where there mouth is and take on the burden of raising some of them.
2 people like this
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
13 Jan 07
Yes, because heaven forbid a woman be burdened to carry the child that she created for 9 months. If you get knocked up because you are being unsafe and irresponsible, then I don't think abortions should be available to you. That is just telling the world that they don't have to take responsiblity for anything. That's why the world is the way it is, because people can do stupid crap and screw up, but never have to face the consequences.
• United States
15 Jan 07
That is my point! Remember about 15 years ago, all of the clinic bombings? They may have saved a fetus, but they murdered a father, a mother, an aunt or uncle et. that was currently a productive member of society. What made the fetus' life worth that much more? A child's future was saved but another's was shattered.
• United States
15 Jan 07
mkirby...care to raise some of those children? I'm not talking about the unborn, I'm talking mother and child! What happens when the mother is forced to drop out of school, go on welfare and raise a child in the system? Will you be there to finance their future?
@harivinod (781)
• India
13 Jan 07
it is horrible to eevn think of
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
I agree. its actually ironic. no choice means you chose to follow that particular thing in which there are no other option. hehehe
1 person likes this
@sbbcackk (99)
• Ecuador
12 Jan 07
if you take away ANY right, others will follow... and where will it stop? a totalitarian society with one person or group deciding for all of us
2 people like this
• United States
15 Jan 07
There was a time when women were forced to go to back-alley clinics and have abortions that may have not had the highest safety standards....I shudder to think of it. The woman who was the plaintiff in Roe vs. Wade filed and by the time the case was heard and decided on had the child. The right to choose was not always our right sadly.
• India
13 Jan 07
would Sugesst that u r right and the right to choose should not be taken away
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jan 07
Yeah, I'd have to agree. These people forget a lot of things. They forget that things aren't always so easy, and that people don't always have help and what not. Of course they'd just argue that protection measures could have been taken, but sometimes measures are taken and it happens anyway. So what can you do?
2 people like this
• United States
13 Jan 07
While this is a lovely ideal, here is the reality -- 1. More babies and children are awaiting adoption already than there are families. Would be adoptive parents tend to want a baby that looks exactly like them and are perfect. This leaves out babies of color - whites tend to adopt more than minorities, multiracial children, children with disabilities and children who are not cute adorable babies anymore. Having more babies available for adoption, assuming the mothers would put the child up for adoption, only means more children in an already overburdened foster care system. 2. Women who did not abort the child might not give the child up for adoption. They would feel 'stuck' with the kid or keep the child for whatever reason. Therefore, even if the mothers did not resort to coat hanger abortions, reducing the number of legal abortions would have LITTLE TO NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER on the number of children available for adoption.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jan 07
While I am not a big proponent of abortion as "birth control", there are definitely situations where it is the better solution than a child being raised in a substandard situation. With the world's population expected to double by 2050, that's a lot of children in 3rd World countries that will face poverty, lack of food and clean water, and intense suffering. I am more in favor of making sterilization for men and women very accessible. My husband had a vasectomy and I am considering tubal ligation. We are adopting a child from China instead of trying to get pregnant. I agree that fewer abortions would not increase the amount of children available for adoption. Placing a child for adoption is a personal choice that most women can't do. Abortion occurred in this country before it was legal and would continue to occur, only this time, it would be unsafe and illegal. Women become the victims in this type of situation.
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I disagree with you on the choices of children for adoption. A lot of parents are beginning to adopt children of different colors. My co-worker adopted her son from Guatamala. Her daughter is white and from the US, but she didn't try to find one who looked like her, it just happened to be the child she was able to adopt. The child was not even born when she was going through the adoption process, so she didn't choose her because she looked like the rest of the family.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jan 07
Why is your friend adopting from Guatemala when there are plenty of children here that are available for adoption. Because those are babies and everyone wants a cute adorable baby -- with the advantage of saying you are helping some poor third world child be saved from a terrible situation. Why don't your friends adopt an older child here in America -- even if the child is a little less than perfect.
1 person likes this
@lynn3024 (198)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
I had my first child when i was 18. iwas not married. i had a job. i took a years maturnity leave and then went back to work. being pregnant is not hell. it's the most wonderful thing. and having a baby doesn't hurt that bad. people who think that abortion is right need to grow up and take some responsibilities. If you are having an abortion it just shows that you are selfish, immature and to scared that you might have to stop partying to take care of a baby.
1 person likes this
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
This is the type of ignorance often displayed by pro-lifers. Having a baby was a wonderful thing .. for YOU, because you made that decision. People who are NOT in favor of that pregnancy don't find it a wonderful thing. Women who suffer gestational diabetes, preclampsia (sp) and other serious disorders that arise with pregnancy don't find it a wonderful thing. I didn't find being put on bedrest at 4 monthes along, and having to quit working, a wonderful thing. Luckily I had my husbands career to rely on, but what would a single mother have done in that situation? She'd have to rely on government assistance, so people could complain about that. And I had 4 other children to care for while I was on bedrest for 5 monthes. How does one handle THAT? You can't pretend to have all the answers just because pregnancy was a good experience FOR YOU. You are not the moral standard for the majority. News flash. You attribute abortions as being done by young girls who are sleeping around and want to keep partying, correct? So would it surprise you to know, or would you flat out deny, the national statistics that show that the main group seeking out abortions are between 30-35 years old and married? To realize a persons physical, financial and mental limitations and come to the conclusion that a baby is not a good decision for their particular situation is NOT selfish, it is taking reseponsibility. Since the decision has no reflection on your life whatsoever, I don't see how you're worthy to judge women worldwide when they're the ones who have to live with the decision and it's consequences.
2 people like this
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
13 Jan 07
Having a baby doesn't hurt that bad???? OMG are you kidding me? OK, try sticking a melon inside of you and tell me it doesn't hurt. You have forgotten the pain because you wanted the baby. Or maybe you had a really good epidural. Either way, I gave birth to five babies and one stillbirth. The labor pains were excrutiating. The birth process was horrendous. Not to mention nine months of morning sickness, swollen ankles, dizziness, headaches, gestational diabetes, preclampsia...the list goes on and on. If it is a child that you want, you can ignore the pains and discomforts because you know in the end it will be worth it.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jan 07
Well la-di-da, so it worked out for you. Try it in a state with a high cost of living, like New Jersey, California or Hawaii. I got pregnant at 20. I did my partying in HS prior to graduation. I had a job, cc, a car and I was attending school. Try gaining 50+ lbs, having your boss tell you you're dressed inappropriately for the office (because you can't fit into any shoes but unlaced sneakers), being dangerously close to having gestational diabetes and a husband (now my ex) walking out of jobs and see how THAT goes. You're so smug--not everyone can have someone to KEEP them for a year...my parents had to save for 7 years so my mom could stay at home for four years with my sister and I (and then she worked at night to help pay the bills). I'd say that your parents must have taken care of you during that time, you didn't do it alone!
@blueman (16513)
• India
13 Jan 07
the activist are protecting because of their own principles and i do not think they are doing this to harm anyone but to educate others on the subject itself. so that people try to prevent themselves from getting in such a situation.
• United States
15 Jan 07
how is picketing a clinic, bombing (and maiming or killing people) clinics and protesting 'educating' people? the energies and funds being used would be better off educating people, making birth control accessible to everyone and increasing the speed and ease of the adoption process (including making it financially feasible).
@AjithVR (37)
• India
13 Jan 07
it is important to have education on public about this matter. Girls should take care about the unwanted pregnancy and can avoid a lot much. There is good and bad everywhere. Every one should find out good ones and giveaway bad.Sometimes girls are trapped by their boy friends. There are various methods available to avoid unwanted pregnancy. Everyone should use appropriate methods .
• United States
15 Jan 07
you are correct in advocating education and that EVERYONE involved is at risk.
@ahmed2th (127)
• Egypt
13 Jan 07
I think adoption is an excellent idea for those who want children but can't get married.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jan 07
unfortunately, adoption is pushed from other less fortunate countries (China, Romania, etc). the physical and emotional costs of alternative childbirth processes like in-vitro and surrogate mothers is prohibitive in this country! the child-tax credit for AMERICAN children should be higher than flying to one of these other countries to go pick another child!
• United States
13 Jan 07
I think that it is great that we have the right to choose. I was in the situation years ago, and in an abusive relationship. I am so glad that I chose to have an abortion. I would have been tied to a man who thought he had( at at the time did) have control over every aspect of my life. I had to call before I left somewhere and call when I returned. He taped me when I didnt realize it,and then continued and expected it when i found out he did it. He used to slam my head into the wall with both hands. I luckily survived to get out, but I dont think I would have if I had had the baby with him. I am fortunate--- I think. Not too mention there are way too many children right now in foster care and in the system. Why not adopt one of them before having one. If everyone who COULD, just did that, maybe some of these children in the system, wouldnt repeat it with having a kid to put in the system
• United States
15 Jan 07
exactly my point! sometimes I look at my daughter and wish she didn't resemble her father so much (he emotionally abused me for 10+ years) because he forced me to have her. if he had gone to jail and you had that child, how would your feelings towards the father affected you (suppose)? I'm sure there's at least one woman somewhere whose been in that position and the child (unfortunately for them) resembles dad...if the mother didn't have the means to get counseling, how do you think she would handle that? I shudder to think...
• India
13 Jan 07
yes... as you say is correct... i also completely agree with you...good people out there who want to adopt... still refused because of medical condition some one in their family... there is main matter' i think all the abortion protesters start thinking of life of the child after they are born to a mother who cannot or does not want them, or the life of the mother which could end because of medical conditon is like that....
1 person likes this
@kiwimac (324)
• New Zealand
13 Jan 07
It has always seemed ironic to me that pro-life folk often allow their concern for the child to STOP at birth. They are there protesting at the abortion clinics right enough but where are they when a child is born to a single or sole parent who has no support? or when a child is put up for adoption but no one adopts them and they move from foster parent to foster parent. It seems to me that if they are truly concerned about the child, they would either financially support the mother or adopt the child but they do neither which tells me that their concern is only 'skin-deep' as it were.
• United States
15 Jan 07
THANK YOU! I am so glad that someone understands what I mean! Like you mentioned, it does appear that pro-lifers have forgotten about that poor little baby being born, left in diapers all day, sometimes not fed regularly etc. Unfortunately, some women are not meant to be parents, but the cost of sterialization is prohibitive for the poorest folks.
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
Well life has in effect in anyway, in the first place we are all responsible with our own actions as well as our own choices. I think kids of these days need to have to think of the consequences of the things that would happen to them in the future.Like why do u have to have kids when u cant afford to feed it? So i guess eveybody really has to think smart before dealing another problem. Sometimes problems creates ripples...it also affect other peoples lives
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jan 07
not every woman having an abortion is young...sometimes they're older and can't bear to start over raising children again, sometimes they've been raped or in an abusive relationship, sometimes they can't handle it. I'm not advocating the right to use abortion as a means of birth control, but to have the right to choose if our lives (female) will be irrevocably changed forever.
@vanities (11388)
• Davao, Philippines
13 Jan 07
well all i can say is that if you think its the right thing (morally)to do and is legally accepted in your country then why not...everyone has the right to let their views be heared also...especially the prolife or the pro abortion...and its on our conscience now that will decide which is the right thing to do...which some factors should be taken into considerations like for example is it moral? or does it conform to our values and beliefs??..
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
The term 'pro abortion' is completely inaccurate, and shows blatant ignorance. Pro-choice advocates encourage free CHOICE. This means that I support a woman if she feels that abortion is the best choice for her, that I support a woman if she feels adoption is the best choice for her, and that I support a woman who feels that having a child is the best choice for her. It's about supporting a woman, regardless of her choice, and recognizing that she's the only one who has to live with the consequences of her decisions, so she's the only one in a position to MAKE those decisions. In all reality, I abhor abortion. I've never had one, I never would. I have five gorgeous kids, and it's not in me, personally, to terminate something that has the potential to be one of them. But that's me. My choice. :) And just as I'm happy with my choice, and there were people there to support me when I made it, I'm there to support whatever choice another woman wants to make regarding her own life and her body.
1 person likes this
@sizzle3000 (3039)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I think that the reason the abortion law will stay on the books is because of all the back alley illegal abortions that will go on anyway. They tried years and years ago to make it illegal to have an abortion and the woman still went to back alley doctors to have it done. These woman would be scared for life. Some of the women would die from the procedure. I think that a woman has a right to choose what happens to their body. I also think that if people want to pay for the medical of the pregnant woman as well as her time off work maybe then the woman would choose to keep the child. I also think that if these opinionated people had to take money out of their own pocket on a regular basis to support a pregnant woman they would change their mind. I also think that these same people should be responsible for paying for that child until it is eighteen years of age. why should mother who would have had an abortion be responsible for the child she did not want. I think people need to mind their own business. I also feel that a woman should not take this decision lightly. I think that a doctor should be consulted and all her options laid out for her so she can make an informative decision.
1 person likes this
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
13 Jan 07
very good point that you have made. I do not believe in it specifically for me, but for others it is a major life choice and does hurt the most important pple involved, mothter and baby as when it boiles down they are the ones that are left to pick-up and take care of everything and carry the brunt of the choice.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jan 07
every female should have the right to decide if she wants to abort or go ahead with it...
@Fexbox (111)
13 Jan 07
Well. Three main points why abortion and adoption can be a good thing: - Illness. A child could be born with mental or physical disabilities. Not all parents can take care of an ill child. Like you said, not everoyne has financial or emotional support. It's not always fair for the child or parent to stay together. HIV, as well. Is it something you could pass to your child without any care? - Young mothers. It's a pretty harsh way to learn a lesson about the choices or mistakes they've made. Yes, some girls do seem to use abortion as some strange contraception. But not all of them. There are innocent teenage mums out there, but people refuse to accept that it could have been a wrong chocie or mistake. - Women left pregnant by rape. Is it fair to have her keep that child? I personally don't think so. If she feels an attachment and bond and can look past all that she's been though, then fair enough. But I think she's strong whatever choice she made. There are arguments against abortion, yes. But the fact is, there should be CHOICE. Nobody can understand this situation until they're in it.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jan 07
I am personally adopted so this subject, and others like it catch my interest. Long story short, my birth mother was literally in the hospital ready to have an abortion, when my birth grandmother got there and stopped the procedure due to my birth mother was under age (17) at the time. All because my birth father said 'if you have an abortion I will marry you', well that didn't work so my birth father said 'if you give her up for adoption, I'll marry you.' Well sure enough, a week after I was born, through 'private' doctors/lawyers, I was adopted 'out.' Many years later, I met my birth family when I was around 19. I met them, and that's it, no desire to see them again but glad I got that out of my system. Needless to say, if I wasn't adopted, I possibly would not be here today, as well as I have a 'biological' sister from the same 'parents' who lived her life with my birth mother, with bad things that happened to her due to many things. I was truly blessed, am blessed, to be adopted. My parents are awesome, I've led a life I could never have possibly have led if I had remained with my birth family. I've had family and friends who truly love me. My life is 100% better and different than it could have ever had been. My point is, I truly believe in the right to choose, but I don't believe people should be going around not using birth control, fully knowing they could get pregnant. Is that an unborn child's problem or fault? Absolutely not. To have the right to choose fully taken away though, in cases of rape for example would disgust me. My birth family gave me up, and have nothing to do with me, they are not my family, only by biology and that's it. They didn't raise me, and gave me up. That's the only thing I thank them for, they gave me up, best thing they could have done.