is it good to have chidren before marriage?

Nigeria
January 13, 2007 8:43am CST
I think it is unwise based on religious belief.
2 people like this
15 responses
• China
16 Jan 07
i think that is a bad thing!
1 person likes this
@candygurl24 (1883)
• Canada
14 Jan 07
I am a SINGLE mother of 2 beautiful children. My opinion is that a stable home does not come from two people in love having a child. I give my children the world and more in love and stability. I am strong enough to take on both roles, mother and father, and I am proud to say that. Someday down the road, I might meet someone that is worth bringing into our family unit, but I'm not waiting for it. We have all the love of any other family right here, and more stability than other families that have one spouse out running around on the other, constant fights etc.
1 person likes this
@xXmeganxX (4423)
13 Jan 07
well based on some religions, it is not wise to have children before marriage, but with my religion that isn't a problem, i think it would be nice for the child to have a mother and father who are in a stable relationship tho, but they don't have to be married to be stable, they can just be partners and have a stable relationship, like me and my partner, were not mariied but have a child together! :)
1 person likes this
@Brooke3 (614)
28 Jan 07
I don't think it is good or bad. i think it depends on the individuals. PErsonally I would have children outside of marriage (if I wanted children) because I don't want to get married.
• United States
28 Jan 07
I had my daughter before i was married, and i didn't see anything wrong with that. aslong as the child has a stable family that loves them, adn can support them, that's all that matters.
@crazy_me (591)
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
I prefer to have kids after I get married. It is also just ok to have a child before marriage but the parents should wed immediately after the child is born. I believe it is important to a child to know that his/her parents are married to each other. Like here in the Philippines where kids born out of wedlock are oftentimes looked at differently. Most often than not, they are ridiculed by playmates for being illegitimate children. This could traumatize them and make them feel incomplete.
@sarojrath (247)
• India
13 Jan 07
It all depends on the culture you grow. In some countries women are not supposed to become mother before marriage. It is supposed to be a sin. How ever i have many friends in west who have no problem in having kidds before marriage. It does not matter to them as there is no restriction from any one. If we talk about countries like India, Pakistan, Srilanka,Nepal,China and few more countries it is just not allowed. The society does not accept a girl and her child if she is not married. some times people even kill the girl with the baby as the family members think that it will bring bad name to their family. It is really complex and out of imagination for people in west. They have less clutural effect on the society.
@breezie (1249)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
I have 2 children and I am not married. I personally don't think that being married matters as far as having children. I do think it is important for them to have a stable home and loving family, but to me you do not have to be married to provide this. My children are happy and healthy, well loved and taken care of. My boyfriend and I have been together for many years and plan to be together for many more, though we have no plans to get married anytime soon.
@JJOD2007 (160)
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
I agree with you. I'm not yet married, but based on what my friends have shared to me. They say that it is still best that you have children after marriage so that you two could enjoy each others company and it is more easy for both of you to adjust.
@goldjay (465)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I think that this is a very sticky question to ask! I, personally, for my family felt the need to wait to have children until I was married. I think that it is a wise decision in many cases but I also know cases where a woman had a child but didn't want to marry the father right away becase she wasn't sure if he was right for her and she wanted to make a decision based on their relationship rather than the fact that she was pregnant with his kid. In the end, in the case I am thinking about, the couple did get married after the child was a year or two old and they are still happy together but I think it was wise of her to wait. It is a very hard question and depends on a lot of variables. I would hope that my children would wait until they are married to have children but if they dont, for some reason or antoher, I will be supportive and acception anyway.
• El Salvador
13 Jan 07
I had my daughter before I was married. And she was not an accident. My boyfriend and I decided together that we wanted to have a baby, and that we knew we were eventually going to get married first, but we wanted our baby sooner than if we were to wait until after we got married. I got to have a beautiful baby girl, and then had 18 months to plan a beautiful wedding too! It really worked for us, but it doesn't always work as well for others. The fact that our daughter was planned made it work, we knew what we were getting into, and we wanted to get into it! Its different if you just happen to end up pregnant, thats when things tend to not work out as well.
@hfadzli (440)
• Malaysia
13 Jan 07
I think its good to have after marriege..
• Hong Kong
13 Jan 07
I am thinking about it from the religious beief,but I do agree with you! That's unvise to have a baby before marriage. As we all know, a baby does need a good environment to grow up, and the most important thing is to have a happy familly with both daddt and mum who give the baby true love! I don't know how a single mum or daddy explains to his child where his mum or daddy is. The child must feel deel depressed when he finds he is living in an unusal familly. I think the single mums or dads must love his kid, but why not try to give the child a full familly if they really love their kids! I think a responsible person would not make a decision to have a baby befor marriage. That's my opinion! have a nice day!!!
@Ciniful (1589)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
But Mary having a child who was not her husbands is perfectly alright? *scratches head* Marriage has nothing to do with children. Many people in this day and age don't believe in marriage at all, and will live with their partners for life without ever getting married. So they shouldn't ever have children? Or you have women who decide to go ahead with practices like artificial insemination, not wanting to be committed to a man yet but wanting to be a mother. To each their own.
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
13 Jan 07
I am not religious at all but I still think children have the right to have a mother and a father and in a stable marriage.