DO YOU HOLD A GRDUGE? - how do you learn not to?

@matlgal (1687)
United States
January 14, 2007 3:17pm CST
Are you a forgiving person? Do you hold a grudge for days, weeks, years?! I DO... I am getting better, but I am sooooo NOT forgiving. I need to learn how to just let it go. "My heart heard what you said the first time" and I don't forget it. I have a mental list of about 5-6 People in my life that I will NEVER EVER EVER forgive. If I met them on the street I would spit on them or worse. I have heard the lectures - LET IT GO... it's wasted time and energy...blah blah blah,. But like I said I am getting better but I still spend way too much time plotting revenge or showing hatefulness ? What can I do? All suggestions welcome Thank you
3 people like this
7 responses
@Khokhonut (702)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I really don't hold a grudge. I don't know what makes me not, it isn't something I strive for or try not to do, I just don't. Life is too short I figure, and it's not going to make anything better so why worry about something I can't change?
2 people like this
@Brentsky (164)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I would rather put forth energy and time to come out as the victor. Even if life is too short. :)
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1687)
• United States
14 Jan 07
well it's not about being right or wrong it's about them feeling bad for being such jerks, I guess that is kinda like being the vicotr? not sure. Life is too short your right to carry baggage around... but I still have a long way to go to "get over it" Thanks for your input
1 person likes this
@Brentsky (164)
• United States
14 Jan 07
For me it depends on the situation. I could answer a lot better if I was brought individual situations, then I could give better advice lol. I just find it hard to let some things go. Arhgggg.
1 person likes this
@rein2410 (809)
• Australia
14 Jan 07
I do not hold grudge at all. I am very forgiving. It is really hard to change that u know. But, I always pray to God to forgive the people that make mistake to me.
2 people like this
@matlgal (1687)
• United States
14 Jan 07
Bless you- I am sure your a person with great inner peace for it. I will have to try harder
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jan 07
rein I wish I were more like you!
@Brentsky (164)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I wouldn't change. Like the saying goes, I forgive but I never forget. Plus it depends on the degree of what happened.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1687)
• United States
14 Jan 07
LOL thank! I can't believe I misspelled it in the title ! what an idiot I am. But thanks for the input.
@matlgal (1687)
• United States
14 Jan 07
LOL thanks! I can't believe I misspelled it in the title ! what an idiot I am. But thanks for the input.
• United States
28 Jan 07
Well, I would be telling a lie if I said I did not hold a grudge. I do with my ex. He really stomped on me pretty good. Played both sides to the middle. When I broke it off with him, he begged for another chance. Ha...like that was going to happen. I ran into him a few times while I was shopping and avoided him like the plague. I do not wish to gain revenge on him. I just wish he would drop off the face of the Earth.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1687)
• United States
28 Jan 07
LOL that says it all.... I said about my es "The only reason he is alive is because it's illegal to shoot him" He's not worth the jail time... but then.... that is a grudge isn't it? LOL
• United States
22 Jan 07
you sound EXACTLY like me!!! i know that i hold grudges like no other and i need to learn to let things go, but i cant!!! everytime something comes up about a person who has wronged me, i remember what they said or did to me, and i get mad all over again. Im trying to "let things go" as they say, but its not that easy. I wish i werent so sensitive sometimes and didnt dwell on things, but thats just how i am. i have just ended friendships with people over something they did that bothered me and i couldnt let it go. if i could have just forgiven them, and moved on, they'd be in my life today. but then again, i feel if they were real friends, they wouldnt have hurt me! SO if you figure out how to get rid of grudges, let me know!!!
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1687)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I sure will. Like I said age helps... Life is getting shorter all the time so the less time I spend being angry the better. Just going to take some time I think. Those that really hurt us are NOT our friends. No one that truly cares about us would do really hurtful things. Everyone of us says things that we wish we could take back. But true friends think before they speak.
@sashasmom (136)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I am terrible at holding a grudge. I can hold a grudge for years and years. I love this discussion. I received some great advice. Thanks matlgal you always have wonderful discussions.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1687)
• United States
20 Jan 07
Than you ! I always look forward to seeing you!. Lets do a group one?
@khalablue (310)
• Canada
15 Jan 07
Wow, you do ask some interesting questions. I think of myself as a caring, considerate, individual, and my husband tells me that I am generous to a fault. I would never deliberately hurt anyone, so I automatically assume that no one would ever deliberately hurt me, so when it happens I do my best to try and resolve the issue. Often it turns out to be a misunderstanding and once it is cleared up, then the relationship usually returns to normal. However, if I know that what someone did was planned and deliberate, I don't hold a grudge. However, that person just becomes non-existent to me. I will no longer acknowledge them. Bye-bye. Gone. The end. Over and out.
• United States
16 Jan 07
When that person is non-existent do you ignore them? Do you look straight through them?