He's Mad At Me. The Abuse Will Start Again. There is No Hope Left.
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
United States
January 17, 2007 6:44am CST
It's barely 7:30, yet here I sit telling strangers about my problematic home life. There is no support group in my local area, I have searched the internet and can find no help there either. Perhaps maybe one of you will be able to help a sister out.
It all started at about 6:50 when my neighbor just dropped in for a few minutes and brought a bag of donuts. We chatted for a bit and she left. I came back to the computer as soon as she was gone. Then it happened. I had forgotten to put the donuts away and had left them on the kitchen counter. NOTHING can be on the counter. I know how he feels about this, but I just wasn't thinking. With a quick jerk he knocked them to the floor. I had to rush to pick them up before he destroyed them.
Now that I think about it, it really started when I got on the computer in the first place. He was demanding my attention and I was just wanting to check my mail and kept him waiting.
I know how abused women will defend thei men and I really try hard not to do so. There is no excuse for it and I should not try to cover it up or gloss it over. But -most of the time he is so sweet and gentle. There is no one that can cuddle and snuggle better than he. When he enters a room he knows immediately how I am feeling and knows how to comfort me. There is nothing better than his touch on my face. He has never left me and has helped me through some serious surgeries with his devotion and love.
I am fortunate today that his anger happened in the morning. He will now take a nap and it will be forgotten when he awakens. If it would have been in the afternoon when he expects his dinner (at exactly 4:00), and it is not on the counter he is a terror! Please note that in the above paragraph I said "on the counter". The man I am speaking of is my cat Charlie. Charlie knows just the buttons to push to force me into doing his will. If is dinner is not ready for him at 4:00 he will first come to me and yell at me. If I am busy and don't respond, he will then get on my desk and start eating and spitting paper - this is very funny to watch, but sometimes it is important stuff and can't be chewed up by a cat. If that trick doesn't work, he will seek out my lighter. Once he finds it he will bat it either under the stove or refrigerator. The final straw for me is when he has gone through all of his routine and then grabs a pair of my glasses (I keep at least one pair in every room), picks them up, and starts running through the house with them.
That is the most funny thing I have ever seen. He has to hold his head really high to accomplish this feat. When I see that he has come to this desperation, regardless of what I am doing I will stop and make sure he is fed.
I truly love My Man, Charlie the Cat.
14 people like this
75 responses
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I just read your whole story and Im upset with you, and Im sure alot of people will feel this way towards you. You had people believing that it was your husband. Not funny because there are women out there that this happens to them. I have nothing else to say to you.
5 people like this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Terry, Thank you so much for your comment. I have lived and survived abusive marriages (2 of them). I understand what you say and where you are coming from; but please try to understand that I am writing a humorous little story. If you feel that this is a harmful topic, please report it. It will in no way offend me and I will continue to stay with MyLot and post as I normally do. Blessed Be ~Donna
4 people like this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I thought it was an interesting twist to a story. Maybe you just need to relax a bit and not take everything so seriously TerryZ.
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
17 Jan 07
Oh good grief, Terry if you have no sense of humor that is YOUR problem. Who are you, the comedy police? The story was VERY funny. If you didn’t like it, move on! Mylot has that option you know, you should try it!
3 people like this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Well normally when it comes to an abusive sitution I tell women to run for the hills and don't look back. However considering your situation maybe that isn't the right answer. After all you were ignoring his needs and not giving him the attention he wanted :)
I have a few around this house that are like that. They get right into my face, blocking my monitor, stealing my mouse pad, and worse trying to talk with my friends on line with my keyboard. How dare they! Who knows what secrets they might tell them.
They do end up training us well don't they? They make sure we stay on the schedule they want. If not they will start on us and not stop until we do as they wanted. We feed them when they want, we clean up after them when they want and even give them love when they want.
Just remember we do not adopt them into our lives, we are lucky to have them adopt us and I wouldn't trade any of them for any others. They are part of my family and I love each and everyone of them. Cats really do give us an incredible amount of love. They are always there to listen, to let us know things will get better, and to give us purr therapy when we need it the most.
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Charlie came into my life as a true Blessing. I had had to take Mable to the vet for her trip to Summerland a few months earlier. She was 16 years old and my S/O wanted no more animals, as our hearts were being torn out. At one time we had 27 cats and 8 dogs (we lived way out in the country).
On New Year's Day 4 years ago I took our dog out in the totally fenced in yard to go make pee. I was just looking around and watching traffic and wondering why it was so warm at this time of year.
I had only been out there for about 5 minutes when I felt a tiny tug on the bottom of my jammie pants. I looked down and the most beautiful long-haired orange kitten was trying to climb up my leg. There is no "normal" explanation for how he could have possibly gotten into the yard; yet there he was - and he was there because he knew that I needed him.
I am a Reiki Practitioner and after having him live with me for only a short while, I realized that he, too, has healing powers. One day I will write about some of the amazing things he has done, but for now I will be grateful that he is napping happily on the couch in the sun. Thank you for your response ~Donna
4 people like this
@feralwoman (2199)
• Australia
17 Jan 07
Howdy Kitchenwitchoftupper. You had me fooled there! lol. What a wonderfully written witty story. There is a saying that cats don't have owners - they own you. I would think this to be true in your case! :)
@feralwoman (2199)
• Australia
17 Jan 07
First respondant obviously has no sense of humour lol
1 person likes this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Thank you for your compliment, it is much appreciated. After the first response I was really afraid that I had done something terrible and was going to see if there was a way that I could totally remove this. ~Donna
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
18 Jan 07
It's a tough life. I think both you and the cat need relationship therapy. Any cat that destroys donuts needs help. I suggest you buy a computer for the cat. He seems extremely intelligent and could be helping you earn some money online. Of course, you would have to teach him the value of having coffee and donuts while working on the computer.
If he plays with your lighter, he might be wanting to have a smoke. If he is stealing your glasses, he likely doesn't want you to see him when he goofs off. In some ways, he is very much like a man. He is just trying to run his castle as he sees fit. Long live the king!
3 people like this
@MathandScienceLover (23)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Woman, all i have to say is that, you need to not joke about this, and it does not matter that i am a man either. A man could comment about this too. I think that you have a dark heart to joke about this. What if you had a husband that did do this, what then? Would you joke about it. I do not think it was funny. I got mad, because, I think that abuse is wrong on every level from every person who believes in it. I think that it is not funny and I know that alot of people, NOT everyone but ALOT of people would agree with me for the sake of life. Alot of people just do not care about life anymore. Alot of people do things to intentionally hurt others. There are other people who find amusement in other people's misery. It makes them happy, I think they sick and twisted in the mind and heart.
@misskatonic (3723)
• United States
17 Jan 07
As a survivor of abuse, I have to say... I found this heartwarming and touching. This isn't even gallows humor. It's a clever literary twist that was executed perfectly - there are hundreds of short stories and articles that employ the same techniques and use just as serious subject matter.
This doesn't somehow make actual abuse funny or acceptable. And no one with two brain cells to run together could possibly think so.
1 person likes this
@fortyzwife (84)
• United States
18 Jan 07
You got some nerve. As a former abused woman, this is not funny.
2 people like this
@seriousmiss (39)
• Canada
18 Jan 07
So have I for 20 years of my life, but fortyzwife I have learnt to smile and laugh again and to see that life is still worth living with the glass half full and not empty out look. I am sorry to hear people taking offense to this story. We are living so serious these days to jump on the offensive wagon at a story as funny as this, maybe because some of us are actually upset not to be able to have read another story of a woman suffering abuse. Another woman who can join the sisterhood of being abused. It seems that way to me. I am happy for her wit and I want more.
1 person likes this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
27 Apr 07
Fortyz - As I think I stated, I also have been the target of abuse; but I am NOT a VICTIM, I choose to be a SURVIVOR! I have moved on and when I moved on, I moved on with help to other women in crisis. I'm sorry to hear that you are still having difficulty and hope that you can soon get to the Survivor stage. Once you have arrived there, you will be able to do as I do and volunteer your time at a Crisis Intervention Center and actually help others that are in the same situation that you were in. My heart is here for you.~Donna
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Too funny. You are doomed to be slave to your cat. We had planned to be away for less than a day this past weekend. I only put enough food out for the day. That was on Sunday. When we returned on Tuesday night we really heard about if from our kitten. She hollered at us for over 2 hours. The place was a wreck. In her anger she flung the runner of the coffee table, scattered the magazines off the end stand, knocked the knic knacs to the floor and tore the towels from the towel bars in the bathroom.
They do have a way of letting us know when they are angry. We love them anyway.
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Butterfly, In all honesty, sometimes I taunt Charlie just so I can watch him grab my glasses and go running with them. People come into the house and try calling him "Kitty". He looks at them like, "What the he*l"? He has never been called that and only answers to his name. I love the way that they know just the right buttons to push. They are most truly amazing friends ~Donna
1 person likes this
@kakuemmom (859)
• Canada
18 Jan 07
Wow you had me going for a min i was going to tell you to get the heck out no man is worth it speach then i got to the part about the cat. Myself i found it so funny and its almost 1 in the morning and my daughter is telling me to shhh i am making to much noise lol. I can also see why some might get upset with the post but if you read the whole thing through it is very funny thanks for lifting my spirits its been a tough day and i needed that laugh. Have a good night.
1 person likes this
@kakuemmom (859)
• Canada
18 Jan 07
sorry but btw i had to comment on your name kitchen witch thats my mothers nick name we do a community meal and no one i mean no one can take that title from her so i say we have a cage match lol. just had to add that
1 person likes this
@tigrashadow (1086)
• Australia
18 Jan 07
i know many people thought that it was your partner and i too was ready to offer advice or whatever was going to arise by the end of the story, and many of us have been in the situation at the start of the story so we were identifying and waiting in fear as to what was going to happen next....
to find it was your cat made me breathe a sigh of relief then laugh at his antics...anyone who cant take the story for what it is...right to the end, has a problem.
well written and thanks for sharing charlie's antics
i think most people with cats have a similar story to tell somewhere along the line...even some pampered pooches do interesting and amusing things.
it is wonderful to see your strength out of the situations you found yourself in previously and that you have been able to help others in that situation
well done
kudos to you :)
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
17 Jan 07
Well sweetie the only advice I can give you is to ship up!!!
I know it sounds so dark ages to think, but he is your "man" and if you want to keep him, then you need to do him right. He isn't asking for too much, just your time and attention. You have plenty, he knows and it all should be put on him. Dinner when he wants it? Do you really think that is asking for too much? Moreover, the counter, what was you thinking, those were doughnuts for crying out loud!
If it helps, I am an expert, I live with three men, two of which are exactly like Charlie! One hates it when I leave objects on the bathroom counter, so he throws in the floor for me to pickup. I understand, it "upsets" him, and I should have known better.
Just wake up and realize how lucky you are to have him, and do him right. Not all women could have such a loyal man in their lives.
2 people like this
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
17 Jan 07
Cats are the most amazing creatures - I never cease to be amazed at them. I have 5 of the little darings - and I love the all to pieces.
2 people like this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Thank you so much for the compliment. It is much easier writing here for pleasure than at Gather. The critics are way too harsh there. This is a fun place to be and I appreciate the responses ~Donna
1 person likes this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Oh Witch, that was too funny, my jaw was hitting the floor at first then I nearly spit my coffee all over the floor. You do know who to jump start a girls morning here. LMAO
@moonshadow68 (723)
• United States
18 Jan 07
With the minor exception of one line, I loved this story! You went too far when you talked about abused women defending their men. If you ahd left that line out, this would ahve been a perfect story with a great twist.
Either way, it was very good. Keep writing!
@SouthernRain (59)
• United States
18 Jan 07
I was absolutely relieved to find that your problematic life is just about a cat. I love little stories that start out as one thing (to the reader) and end up being something else entirely. I wrote one once and might post it if I can find it. Thanks for the story.
@tigrashadow (1086)
• Australia
18 Jan 07
hope you can find it, these kinds of stories are an interesting and entertaining read
1 person likes this
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
21 Jan 07
I know what you are going through.
Mine is a stalker, everywhere I go she is watching me.
I go in the shower, shes at the door when I come out.
I come home from work, shes at the door.
I look over the sofa arm and shes staring at me.
I am thinking of getting a restraining order out on her:)
Your story was very funny with a great twist.
Thank goodness there's intelligent posts on mylot +
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Very funny. Cat's can be very demanding at times. Very well written, and I lived watching my mother being abused and I did not find it offensive in any way, funny, well written and very funny. (:
1 person likes this
@SingingPsycho (343)
• United States
17 Jan 07
Yep. You got me too. That was great. ROFL
As I read the first part of this I was thinking "Man, what an @ss this guy is. This controlling crapbag needs some sensitivity kicked into him!"
... and it turns out that it's a cat. LOL
That's too funny. Also - it's darn good copywriting. Ever considered it?
GREAT Job. Seriously. You duped a LOT of people with that - leading them right in for the kill. Very nice.
1 person likes this
@1withwisdom (6)
• United States
18 Jan 07
The first question that comes to my mind is who is the owner and who is the cat? If you want to get him to bahave you have to be the one that establishes the rules and boundries. There are ways to punish animals without any physical or mental harm. For instance the next time he throws a tanterum pick him up and place him out side in the back yard for a few hours....HUNGRY no matter how much he cries don't let him in until he stops whinning. Sometimes it might take all night. If he is an indoor cat make a time out room you know litter box and NO TOYS....... He will soon link his bad behavior with the lack of food....IF any thing nature has taught us CATS ARE NOT DUMB... Sometimes Believe it or not a good old fashion swat on the rump, with a "bad boy or girl or kitty" does the job. not to hard as to break something but firm and hard evough to deliever the message. Remember you are the Human and the Master of your domain THE ALPHA, the head Hanchoess......
1 person likes this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I totally give in! He is the owner! I would never put him outside as I live on Market Street - Every city has a Market Street. While it is not Main Street, it is in the Historical District and gets quite a lot of traffic. It is much too dangerous to put an animal out in the city. If I did not love his ornery behaviors I would not be able to write and joke about them. He IS The MAN!~Donna
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
18 Jan 07
i'm still a kid. i don't know anything about those stuff you mentioned.. but i've watched this movie where jennifer lopez is the main character.. she said "self defense is not murder.." should you...? well, it's just a thought...
1 person likes this
@jeb083079 (839)
• Philippines
18 Jan 07
please read the whole story not just the title.
2 people like this
@gh071458 (11)
• United States
17 Jan 07
My mother was married to an abusive drunk, when sober he was Dr. Jeckle, kind, sweet a very good man, but when drunk, he was a Mr. Hyde, angry, mean and he would beat my mother, she was in love with him so much, in the end she shot and killed him in self defence, he told her earlier in the day he was coming home to kill her...In the end when in a destructive relationship someboby gets hurt...
1 person likes this
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
27 Apr 07
gh, I wish you would have read the entire post, or at least looked at the category it was posted under. I understand what happened with your parents. One of my dearest friends had the same incident happen with an abusive relationship she was in. I also endured abusive relationships; but with great fortune they did not end in that tragic way. This story was not about Human relationship abuse - it was about my Cat!~Donna
