I'M 16 AND MY B/F IS 19

United States
October 5, 2006 8:58pm CST
HI MY NAME IS JAZMIN AND I NEED HELP.WELL MY DAD FOUND OUT ABOUT ME HAVING A B/F AN HESAID THAT HE CAN PUT HIM IN JAIL IS THAT TRUE.WELL I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM 4 EVER. HE TOLD ME DAT ONCE I TURN 18 TO call HIM SO WE CAN GET BAK AND HE SAID FOR ME NOT TO GET ANOTHER B/F CUZ DEN I WILL FORGET HIM.WAT SHOULD I DO?
3 people like this
57 responses
@rmuxagirl (7570)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Technically yes your dad could have him arrested because although it's only a three year difference you are a minor and he's an adult. Both of you are young...you don't want to tie yourself down to one person yet. graduate high school, go to college....learn about yourself.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Oct 06
but why do i luv him so much i feel like my luv life is over.well today i called him and told him if he was cheation on me cuz he wrote to diz gurl if she wanted to do a 4 some....he said no dat it was his nephew usin his account.should i believe him well i hanged up on him and he called bak and said "so its goin to be lik dat" and i said "yeah" dat was da end.now i feel like calling bak.wat should i do?
@HerShe (2386)
• Canada
7 Oct 06
Well, Inconspicuous, I think your right. Besides being a 'sleeze', what kind of a 'responsible' person gets involved with a child? The kind with a development level of a sixteen years old. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with a sixteen year old's brain, IF you are sixteen. At nineteen, he is 'stunted' somewhere. That means he is fixated at an earlier stage of emotional development. He is stuck there. Until he goes through this stage, he will not progress emotionally. Just like an infant can't run until he can walk. It is the same as the emotions; different part of development. People seldom think about emotions that way because you can't see your emotions, they're abstract, you can't touch them. PRINCEZZ007, you are too young to be re-raising an adult. There's a saying that goes, 'It is easier to build a child, than it is to rebuild an adult.' It IS a true statement!! Say bye, bye and not even 'later', unless he does a lot of developing. Come on, you can do it. Close the door, go upstairs and do your homework. Focus. Just keep trying. You CAN do this!!! And that is what I have to say about that. Good luck..I know this is hard. If he truely loves you, he will support you in this and try again when you are ready.
@zubair439 (3188)
• India
20 Oct 06
agreed with hershe,follow that
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
7 Oct 06
In India, no girl can marry if she is below 18 years. I do not know to what country you belong and what are the laws of land. In your case why do you want to hurry with b/f and marriage etc. Why cannot you marry after you reach 18 years.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Oct 06
yeah u all ryt but no matter wat he has done i always seem to forgive him.today i called him and asked him if he was cheatin on me cuz in his myspace he told diz girl wen dey were gonna have a 4 some.i asked him about it and he said his nephew was usin his account. my friend told me it was an excuse dat his nephew is just covering him up.but why does his nephew need to use his account to talk to girls wen he has his own.
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
7 Oct 06
Thanks for your comment.
@MINDY0882 (2304)
• United States
7 Oct 06
yes your dad can do that, 18 is considered a adult and u are still considered a child, I have been through this as well with my dad when i was a teenager.If the love is true and i believe u that it is then he should wait for u and u wait for him, it may seem a while but the time will go by and that day will come. if he isnt faithful to u and does out with other girls while u are apart then its not meant to be. If he wants you to not see anyone else he shouldnt either
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Oct 06
yeah he dont want me to see no one else he wants me to wait 4 him.i would do dat but i found out he has been talkin to other girls tellin dem wen dey gonna have a 4 some and he has alot of gurl #.he cheated on me once with his g/f of 2yrs. but i took him bak.i think his a player and my sis b/f talked to him on da phone and said he sounds like a player too.i believe my sis b/f cuz he is a guy
@MINDY0882 (2304)
• United States
7 Oct 06
girl if he is doing that dont wait on him, love is so important. If he loved u as well then he would wait on you not do what he is doing. hope this helps u some
1 person likes this
@JoyfulOne (6243)
• United States
7 Oct 06
If you live in the US, yes your Dad can do that. Please be wise and don't push it, or try to sneak around behind your Dad's back. When a parent threatens that they usually mean it. Besides, if you love him that much, you really wouldn't want to see him go to jail would you??? Ask your Dad if you are still allowed to call him, write him still, or something like that.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Oct 06
well my dad said he dont want me to keep in contact with him and my dad wants me to giv him my b/f first & last name so he can call da cops on him.my dad also said he gonna take to da doctor & see if i dont have std's.but my dad is thinkin of puttin me in jail.da bad thing is my b/f is black and my dad is really dissapointed in me.wat can i do?
@JoyfulOne (6243)
• United States
7 Oct 06
Jazmin, I think since your Dad doesn't want you to keep in contact with him that you shouldn't. I KNOW it will be hard, but you do want what's best for you AND your boyfriend...and your Dad too. Not saying it's going to be easy, but your Dad has every legal right to do all this if you don't listen to him about it. If you don't show your Dad that you're fretting so much about it, eventually this will all blow over. He may be disappointed for now, but, you are his daughter, and I'm sure he loves you very very much, or he wouldn't be so worried about you making what he considers to be a wrong decision. Speaking as a parent, I think you should not protest so much to your Dad about not seeing your boyfriend, going to the Dr and all...it's not going to help in the long run, and it's only going to keep your Dad on the subject, and probably prolong his anger and all. Your Dad is trying to do what he thinks is best for you, and you have to respect the fact that he IS doing what he feels is right, out of love for you. Good luck, girl! You have the strength to get through this all. Hold your head up, try to be cheerful in front of your Dad, and then go cry in your room if you must...but it still won't change the facts how your Dad feels. God Bless!!
@varuntr (644)
• India
7 Oct 06
u should do as ur boy friend said....he loves you....so thts the rt thing
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Oct 06
HI varuntr SO BASICALLY U AGREE WITH MY B/F DAT I SHOULD WAIT FOR HIM UNTIL I'M 18 AND DEN WE CAN GET BAK.WELL ITS NOT DAT EASY CUZ WAT HAPPENS IF HIS ALREADY TAKEN BY SUM1 ELSE DAT WOULD KILL ME.
@browneyes (395)
• United States
7 Oct 06
with out your dad saying its ok to date this guy yes it is very true. that he can put him in jail... You need to stop and think about something... One time my dad and mom told me they didnt want me to see a guy. I was mad at them and wanted to see him.. but what it really was .. Was because of the simple fact they didnt want me to see him that i wanted to see him more.. but in the very end.. my parents were rite.. trust your dad on this one.. you are young.. a whole life ahead of you. Like my mom use to say.. there is plenty more fish in the sea....the hurt you feel rite now will fade away
1 person likes this
@jaginfo2006 (1757)
• India
7 Oct 06
take a break girl, you are just 16, you are taking it too far, u can end up hurting him play the waiting game, do u want to succed in life or not with all you everwanted. just chill out for the moment. let time decide he is runing nowhere
@kunalsp (428)
• India
7 Oct 06
wait until you become mature. your father can do that. play patience game.
1 person likes this
7 Oct 06
Within America I believe so, most other countries don't have a problem above the age of 16. Though realise the likely hood of you being together with this boy 'forever' is unlikely at this young age. If you really 'love' him and he does you, essentially when you turn 18, you'd be together, if not then you consider it was never love.
1 person likes this
• Sri Lanka
7 Oct 06
hey gurl, ur too good for him. I know we girls are stupid and keep forgiving and going back to the guy, but in the end he's just not worth it. A guy who cheats once, will not hesitate to cheat again, believe me. He just likes having you around as his g/f. You give him a couple of months, maybe weeks, without talkin talkin to him and then see what hes been upto during that time, i'm sure that he'd have been occupied with other girls. I'm tellin u for ur own good, i've been there done that. So i guarantee u that u will be happier without him. It mite take a while to get over it and it sure would be hard. But its all upto ya, u shud control yourself. Honey, your only 16... these r the best years of your life, do not waste it on a loser. Before complaining that your dad doesnt like him, you should sit down and think, is this seriously the kind of guy that you wanna spend the rest of your life with. And when answering that question, be true to urself. Good luck girl, i know ur strong, so hang in there.
1 person likes this
@arijitnit (222)
• India
7 Oct 06
just keep it calm for 3 years..then do whatever u like
@kunalsp (428)
• India
7 Oct 06
yes you are right.
1 person likes this
@justiman (428)
• United States
7 Oct 06
sounds to me like you have alot more serious problem than this boyfriend of yours!!!
• United States
7 Oct 06
yes i sure do hav more problems. now he dont want to ever talk to me again cuz i accused him of cheatin on me & he said i'm actin stupid
• India
7 Oct 06
Ms.Jazmin I really be sorry lisening to ur mssg. let me give an example. when i was 12th one of my friend fell in love with 20 year old boy when she was 16. i suggested her to wait for few years untill he earns some bergs of currency and untill you become Major(18). till then they just like friends. when that time arrived they were happy, because their parents agreed for their marriage.OK.Have a nice day. Bye
• Nigeria
25 Oct 06
yes i think most of the advice been given is cool to keep u well and from thinking, at the first place u have love for ur boyfriend and u think he also have the same love for u. now what ur father is say is a treat to this ur boyfriend so been a guy who wants to stay out of trouble, will just tell u to wait untill u are of age, that is 18yrs. know in your case i also leant that both of u have decided to wait for sometime and for u, u don't trust ur guy cuase you think he is playing on other girls and my advice to that is just try as much as posible to forget about him for some time since u are still young and keep to your parents and ur books if ur a student , also if u feel like to think about him just go the living, watch so movies with dad or mum, go to the libary or event to a game hall were u would meet some friends to chart with for u to forget about him. my sister i think this is enough for u. BYE am Rex from Ghana
@Aali311 (6127)
• United States
7 Oct 06
Just leave your boyfriend for the time, if you're meant to be together it will happen but right now your dad has the upper hand, just let things cool down and then maybe you can talk to your boyfriend and see how things are going. I'm sure he'll move on whiles you cry, don't let this get the best of you.
7 Oct 06
Good advice.
@sunny1984 (640)
• India
28 Feb 07
Yes ! U are underage but ur father cannot do so becouse this is against law only when you are going to get marreid with him before age.So its better for u to wait till you turns 18 and then u can marry him no one can stop you doing this. But dont forget him keek loving and wait for the time suitable for you.
@wendy82 (437)
• United States
28 Feb 07
I would say if you love him like you say that you would stay and wait for him. Yes, it is true because it is called something rape. You should keep in contact behind your father back so that you know where he is at and what he is doing. Because I know the feeling because i was 16 and my bf was 27 and my dad didnt want me to be tied down to one man that he wanted me to play the field. But anyways we went through everything and now look at us we are back together and happy.
@sexyguy (78)
• India
21 Jan 07
No your dad cannot put him in jail since every citizen of a country has the right to live with anybody if they are mature
• India
21 Jan 07
if is this your first love you still need to experience the world, at this age everything you love you find its true , better you follow ur dad,bye
• India
21 Jan 07
i think u are not mature properly ,listen to your father words ,keep concentration in your studiesat the age it is not a love only effection.
17 Jan 07
awww forget bout your da hi. its not fair on you.. i met my bf wen i was 14 and he was 19 and my mother and father had no problem with it, they let him up to the house and everything.. try reasoning with them or something tell them you love him or sumthin lyk that , if it is true.. if they still dont understand , i would continue to se my bf anyway