damn it, i'm caught

@ghostbat (156)
Canada
January 20, 2007 4:40pm CST
My girlfriend caught me cheating on her with her best friend, okay i know its stupid but i did it. The way i see it is that it's not totally my fault, she was the one always busy with something else, even when we were about to start something, there would be that damn phone call from her ''parents'' and that she had to go what should i do?
11 people like this
132 responses
• Italy
20 Jan 07
you are 100 % responsible for what you did ! I am sorry but you have to face the consequences which will probably be negative !
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jan 07
I couldn't agree any more. You are reponsible for your own actions, no one else but you. You cheated, it was your fault, not your girlfriends. It happens, some times people are really busy so they can't spend all the time with each other. Just have to work through it.
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
20 Jan 07
You're right, what you did was wrong. And with her best friend? What kind of friend is that- I'm sure glad that she's not my best friend. The fact that she was always busy and had family obligations does not get you off the hook. You and her best friend are completely to blame. If you felt that your girlfriend was neglecting you, maybe you should have discussed it with her and let her know what you needed from her in the relationship. As far as what you should do now, that's up to you. Give her time to cool off. Then talk with her openly and honestly. Explain how you felt and why you did it. Maybe she will forgive you. If not, you have hopefully learned a very valuable lesson. PS I hope that you used protection...
1 person likes this
@ghostbat (156)
• Canada
20 Jan 07
Don't worry i wasn't sleeping with her friend. But thanks for the advice.
• India
21 Jan 07
Was he playing Snake and Laddder with her I wonder?!
@missybal (4492)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Oh please! You couldn't possibly think that it is not all your fault when you cheated on her. Really it isn't her fault if her parents call and she needs to go. You should have talked to her if the relationship wasn't working for you or you wanted her to spend more time with you. Guys like you make me sick. My husband stood by me when we were dating and I was working 3 jobs. I wouldn't get home until 4 am and he would be asleep in my apartment. He was a college student and had far more time on his hands. We didn't get to spend all that much time together, but he didn't run off and cheat on me because I wasn't there. He even had to go out with his friends without me to the clubs and that because I couldn't go due to working and called me to check up not mad at all that I couldn't make it but sorry that I couldn't go too. Obviously you thought you could be with both and now you gone and not only broke her heart by cheating on her but you have ruined the relationship with the one person that she would have been crying on the shoulder of. You broke her heart twice. Shame on you and her so called best friend.
1 person likes this
@ghostbat (156)
• Canada
21 Jan 07
Well she said it was her parents, what makes me think that she was lieing to me too?
• United States
21 Jan 07
well just kepp telling her that you are sorry and that she needs to either keep you or its her things that keep her busy and make her decide what she wants and then see what she says
1 person likes this
@pillze (118)
• Romania
21 Jan 07
What you did was really really stupid...Did you really believed that the truth won't come out??it's her best friend for god's sake! Oh, but it is totaly your fault,i'm sorry to say! Even if she was always busy you shouldn't have cheated on her, you should have talked to see what was the problem, and together i'm sure that you could have solved it! Stop blaming someone else for your mistakes! You should ask forgiveness i guess, but would you forgive your girlfriend if she would have cheated you with your best friend?
1 person likes this
@scooter1024 (1243)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Cheating is wrong no matter how you look at it. I have been cheated on and thought about cheating myself. My marriage ended because he cheated.The first time I forgave him and the second one I tried to but he just continued cheating so it was time to end it. He wasnt satisfied and neither was I. Instead of talking we chose this route. No communication is the worst thing for a relationship. I really wish he would have talked to me about what bothered him instead of cheating but I understand how hard it can be. In my relationship now I have had the chance to cheat and I understand how people fall into that catagory. I have been very unhappy and had to think hard about things. It is hard to do but I chose to talk to him because I know I couldnt live with the guilt if I cheated. I can tell you one thing, if your girlfriend forgives you she will probably never forget because that is harder than forgiving. If she does forgive you have a long road ahead of you because she will probably never trust you until she feels you have earned it.
• Philippines
21 Jan 07
you know its not really an excuse if youre doing it busy your girl is busy.... you know what instead of cheating why dont you spend and alot a little more understanding.... you should be reasponsible for your actions....
1 person likes this
@classy56 (2883)
• United States
20 Jan 07
well you messed up a freinds relatsonship an you messed up your relatsonship with your girlfreind so you are to blame,you could talk to your girl freind,but i dought if that would help you done hurt her.i guess you stick with the girl you cheated with..good luck!
1 person likes this
@few00cent (2141)
• India
21 Jan 07
It sound like you don't regret...anyways if you realising that you've made a big mistake,something you deeply regret,is very painful. before you do anything,it's important to think about what happened and ask yourself if you'd ever do it again...perhaps you cheated on your girlfriend because she was not giving you enough time . you need to know that you are 100% committed to your girlfriend and that you're certain that you want to be with her.you also need to feel that you want to be with her.you also need to feel that you won't cheat on her again,before you even think about winning her back. It's also worth asking yourself if you're confusing your sense of loss and regret with desire and love.Once the initial upset and grief passes,you may find you're able to move on,but you need to prove it to her. Flower and texts are a nice gesture,but they're easy to do and may be seen as token gestures that don't really mean anything.your girlfriend needs to know that she can trust you and that you'll never do it again.you need to rebuild the trust you once shared.unfortunately,that's not something that you can achieve over night.it will take time and patience. Be honest with her.talk to her about how you feel.tell her it was a huge mistake and not one you'll ever repeat.be the best friend you could ever be to her.don't look at other girls.give her time to forgive you and to decide what she wants.she may need space,away from you.if that's what she wants,give it to her,there's no guarantee that she will take you back but,if you show her that you have learnt from your mistake and that you can be trusted in the future,it's the best you can do. I wish you good luck.hope you will get her back and wont betray her again.
@ghostbat (156)
• Canada
21 Jan 07
Actually i really do regret it, and thanks for the advice.
@cwilson26 (2736)
• United States
21 Jan 07
How can you blame her for you cheating just because she wasn't around all the time. So when you were getting ready to start something and her parents called she should have ignored the call from them just for you? What if it would have been something important? I agree that maybe she could have let the answering machine pick up and at least see if it was important or not but you are the one who cheated with her so called best friend so you're the one to blame not her. You could have talked to her about it first before you went off and did something with her best friend. And this best friend of hers really isn't a friend at all if she is messing with her friend's boyfriend. That is so ignorant. I do not believe in cheating at all. You could have broke up with her at least if you thought it was that bad. I'm sorry that I'm goign off like this but I hate it when people cheat. I think it is wrong!
• Canada
21 Jan 07
"I'm sorry for doing of like this but..." You know what I really hate? I really hate it when people apologize for being RIGHT!!!! You're not the one who neds to apologize. Everyhting you have said is brilliant, and I think you were much nicer in your response than I was. LOL RIGHT ON!!!!!
@hadees (88)
• India
30 Jan 07
YOU CHEATER.MAY BE YOU ARE NOT A PERSON WORTH TO TRUST UPON. PROPHET SAID THOSE WHO CHEAT ARE NOT FROM US. BETTER PRACTICE THE RIGHT THINGS
• India
29 Jan 07
what you did was absurd. you shouldnt have done it. you have to face the consequences no other go or just go and fall at her feet and ask sorry.thats the only thing no other go
• United States
23 Jan 07
You should have told her that your relationship wasn't going so well. If you did, you wouldn't be in this kind of situation. Well...since there's nothing you can do about it, you have to apologize to her and her parents.
• India
22 Jan 07
You are responsible for what happened and so dont try to blame it on her.If you have such attitude and treat her parents as an annoyance you will never last in a relationship.Better change your line of thinking right now before it is too late.
• United States
21 Jan 07
First things first, you have to take responsibility for your own actions. So does the best friend. If you cant accept that you made a mistake without trying to place the blame partially on someone else you will never be able to work past this. You can not blame her for what you did. Comunication is key for any relationship to be successful. Trust is as well, with out it you have nothing for a foundation to the relationship. After you are able to accept fault for your actions, only then will she be willing to even try to work things out. If there is something lacking in the relationship that you feel you need, you need to express this to her. If she loves you, she will understand and try to work harder at making more time for you. I hope you are lucky enough that she is able to forgive you. If she does, work your hardest at building the trust back, laying that foundation, only then can you start to build back the relationship. Good Luck!
@shooie (4985)
• United States
21 Jan 07
Did you try talking to her before you went out and cheated on her? Maybe you shouldn't settle down with one girlfriend right now. In life things get busy and your wife and or girlfriend gets busy even you will get busy. So if you guys stay together and well you get busy does she get to sleep with your best friend?
@lvhughes (545)
• United States
21 Jan 07
first thing you need to do is stop blaming her she had nothing to do with it. You did it. i caqnt believe how everytime someone cheats they blame theperson they cheated on. it would sever you and the friend right if she never spoke to you again. i hope you get everything you deserve.
21 Jan 07
wel im sorry but if she ends it then i cant see why. instead of cheating on her with her best friend to get bk at her for always leaving...why didnt you just talk to her about tht, tell her how u felt and how it hurt you...i kno u cant go bk and time and change tht now, but still. any way...theres nothin you can do, if she decides to take you bk...then you are gna have to understand tht she is not going to trust you for a while...of even forever. and if ya aint got trust u aint got anything...so i would say it would be best if it ended for good
@snow2007 (170)
• Canada
21 Jan 07
Just talk to her and see what she says. I hope you get it worked out.
• India
21 Jan 07
forget it..if you were not in love then what is it that you care about!!!!but personally i feel u didn't do good to her.....