Why can't I find someone with 3 kids?

Unfortunately, it's harder for a single mother to find someone, than it is for a single father. This is a very common thing, but I don't think many people think about it. My advice for you is to keep on looking and maybe find dates at another place, maybe where some activity for children is involved. But most important, I believe, is that you ask yourself, Do I need a man? Of course you want love and share your life with someone, but do you really want a man, or are you just trying to find one because that's the way society is built up? Maybe if you don't look so hard, love will find you instead...

I don't think there's a magic solution for your problem, but if some guy doesn't want to be with you because you already have 3 kids, then you're probably better off without him. 3 kids is a heavy "load" BTW, I'm sure you realize this, it's probably very intimidating. A lot of men also don't want someone else's child (maybe it's a male pride thing). Maybe you should find a man who can't have any children of his own. But lurking around impotence clinics might be a little creepy! ;) I'm kind of joking, but I hope you can find someone who treats you and your kids right.

I dont know why you can't. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago on a online dating site when I was 27. She was 34 and had 3 kids. It was hard and weird and awkward at first but I hung in there and to this day Im still here so all I can say is keep being straight forward with the guys you meet and eventually you find one who is honest and sincere about you and your kids.

Ok this might help coming from a single male. I myself do not want kids. I decided that a wile ago. So when I go to the dating sites or am looking for someone to date. I have my set of deal breaker questions. Asking if they have children is one of them. There is nothing wrong with kids and I like hanging out with my friends kids so don't think I hate kids. So for me it's the reason I don't want kids. So even though you may be a great woman, you have kids and that's not for me. No matter what you 4 are a package deal. That is great for you but not for me. So it's not always you or you and the kids, sometimes it really is just the guy. Don't give up though.

Hi littlecutiepie, If you are in the UK, I believe this shouldn't be a problem. I see lots of britons are very 'mature' in handling or accepting their partner has 3 or even more than 3 kids. Probably you just haven't found the right one yet. Hang in there and a little bit more patient. All in good time. It's better to wait for a little bit longer and getting the right man than to rush things which at the end of the day just make your days more like hell. Try not to focus too much on finding him. Who knows he will find you! I'll pray for you.

Keep your chin up cutiepie....I was 30 with 4 kids and met a wonderful man to whom I had my last one with....they are out there,just be honest and upfront,let them get to know your kids and decide on their own what they want to do about the situation....it took me 3 years to find someone to accept the 4 I had but he was worth the wait....by the way,I had my first when I was 17.

I would say find a single dad with the same problem... It's good that you care about your children. I know one guy who is a friend of mine that was dating a woman with 2 kids and he total respected that and he grew to love them. He bought a car that would even be big enough for all of them to take them all out places. The woman he was dating started wanting him all to herself, was constantly hiring baby-sitters to watch the kids and he didn't like that. He was all for the family thing, and in the end her wanting to do things without the kids with him pushed him away. He didn't want someone who would abandon her kids for him. He was willing to be there for all of them. These type of men do exist, unfortunatly the problem is finding them. I wish you the best of luck and don't give up.

I am in a situation similar to yours, except I only have 2 kids. A lot of times guys our age get scared by the thought of being a father or father type figure. I was with someone when I had only one child, and it was going well. I then got pregnant with his own child, he got cold feet, and dumped me. I understand what you're going through and I myself have given up. I figure when it's time for me to meet someone, it'll happen. I try not to push things. I am just waiting to see what happens. One day you'll meet someone who won't be scared of your children. There are men out there that want kids but can't have them. So keep your head high, take care of your babies, and you'll find someone who will love you and your kids a lot! Good luck and hang in there.

I think that many people are too busy nowdays to worry about the responsibility of children.

Maybe this is why I met my husband on the internet. At least I was able to put up a profile on a website and state that I had children and so avoid any awkwardness. I would advise being honest from the outset and letting the people you date know that you have children. They are the biggest part of your life now so there's no point in denying it. If the guy you're going out with runs off then he wasn't worth being with in the first place. There are a lot of good men out there and some in the same situation as you are so don't be defeated. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get to meet someone decent and good to your children.

I know that it is hard to find someone who will accept you and your children. Let me tell you though it is worth the wait. When you do finally find someone they will not turn and run nor will they act is if they do not want to be seen out with you and your kids. The right person will not even care that you have children and they will treat your children with respect and love them. As soon as you stop trying to find someone you will. Get it out of your mind and you will see that it will happen when the time is right.

State your case and describe your circumstances on a free online dating site. craigslist.com and plentyoffish.com That way the guys that contact you will aleady know your situation and be open to it. Always take the time to get to know them and their circumstances also. Meet in a public place and make sure to meet their frineds and family to make sure they're or real and not hiding anything. Three children could be a bit intimidating at first to a man. Obviously the children will come first with you and many men are insecure and may not want to compete with them for your time and attention. But some men may be open to a ready made family with the right woman. And all menwanted to be treated extra good just because they're men.

Just keep looking i am sure you will find someone. When you meet them just say it right away if they don't like you just move on to someone else. I hope you find someone good luck.

i understand where you are coming from. it's very had for single parents... and when they have that many children. i'm 23 years old and i have 3 children. i was luck to find another single parent that has 2 children of his own. we just had the baby together (my 3rd child)

Well I certainly feel for your situation. However..I would say..if the man loves you then he will love your kids too. You will know when the right man comes along. I think that you just have to be straightforward and tell them that you have kids. I met a man and he became my son's dad..and has been for many years now...so don't lose faith that there is someone out there for you...and your kids...

Well, I have 5 kids and I don't have any problem at all finding and keeping a man....In fact, I can't ever get the idiots to go away! So, your little problem might be a blessing in disguise! You will find the right guy. He will accept you and your children. There are plenty of men out there that will love all of you no matter what~you just haven't found the right one yet! Good Luck!

Maybe you are looking for love in all of the wrong places, Just maybe you are over looking some of your best possibilities. You are 24 years old and already have 3 children, it is very unlikely that you will find a man close to your own age who is willing to be tied down to an instant family. If by some chance of luck you do find such a man then it is very doubtful that the relationship will last, sooner or later signs of resentment and or jelousy are going to surface and cause big problems. Most American women over look the possibility of relationships with older men, However at times those relationships are better suited for women who are in a position such as yourself. An older man will most likely be settled in life and will not have the inhibitions or insecurities about an instant family that a younger man would have. An older man would be more likely to accept a lady who has children and readily accept the responsibility of supporting you and your family. I myself am 41 years old and my wife is 24, we have been married for 6 years and have a wonderful relationship. When your searching for love, dont let age or looks get in the way and dont listen to your friends and family. Follow your heart and dont over look any possibility, Love may be hiding in the most obscure place you could imagine, it could be hiding around any corner just waiting for you to find it.

I don't have any advice about finding someone, but I applaud you for not just taking anyone, because I have heard that men do want you to bow down to them because they have the "burden" (puh-lease) of dating a woman with three children. Just to let you know, my mother got married as a parent of 3 children ages 8-13 at the time, so it's not an impossible quest. I'm sure you will find someone great for you, but in the meantime, just focus on loving your life as it is and love will one day follow.

If you are involved with your kids and their activities, you will meet up with people who have that same focus. A single father/divorced father might be the key. Although I see a few red flags. It sounds almost like you resent your kids for how they are infringing on your love-life. You said you were "ignorant" for having the kids instead of seeing them as a joy. We all have moments when our kids make us crazy, but I am just wondering if there is a deeper problem here. Perhaps a single-parent support group would be helpful.

We are in the same situation. I'm a single mom of 3 kids as well. When I had 2 I still found someone who loved me but because of my 2 kids and their dad which is my ex, everything became complicated. I myself am still looking for Mr. Right because I've never been married. Sometimes I'm happy being alone and think that perhaps I should wait til my kids are grown til I marry. I also feel that the new guy would have to be really nice. I've been looking online and most guys say they love kids but no one has really come to meet me here in the Philippines. One guy and I chatted for 8 months and he was even sending my kids packages of toys and teddy bears but he never came. I'm not giving up yet. My mom had 3 of us when she married my stepdad 25 some years ago and they are still together. Right now I'm studying to be a nurse so I be a nurse in the states when I graduate then maybe there I will find someone who will truly love me. Some people say, in the beginning when you just start dating, you shouldn't tell the guy everything yet. It's only when you start falling for each other that you should say, hey I have 3 kids by the way. I don't know but I can't seem to do that. It's already part of my introduction that I have 3 kids. Perhaps, the guys who get scared away, are the ones who are not ready for a commitment yet. They probably think, hey this girl has kids and she's probably wanting someone for life... hmmm, now things are even clearer for me... A lot of people say they would date a single mom because she would be a better date, she knows what she wants in life, she is responsible and a keeper. I'm sure our men will come when the perfect time comes. Goodluck to us! In the meantime, spend lots of quality time with your kids and try to raise them the best way you can so that when they have a new dad, everything will fall into place.