Long distance relationship!

love! - heart and love
United States
January 22, 2007 6:38pm CST
Has anyone been on a long distance relationship? I have a boyfriend right now and he started to work in the ship as a US Merchant Marine. He'll be gone for 6-8 months. We've been together for almost 2 years now and our situation is killing me. I mean, I know I can handle it but I don't know how long. We are not married nor engaged but I know deep in my heart that he loves me so much and im his life. I felt the same way for him but I'm just scared of what would happen along the way since he's not totally mine. I'm not ready to get married myself but I am hoping that he's the ONE...i don't know if this relationship is worth keeping...
5 people like this
88 responses
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
It is how you trust him and how he trusts you..for me, i do not believe in long distance relationship,, well maybe, just maybe both of you can make a diffrence ok..just keep the fire burning..open communication is the success in all relationship
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 07
Yup! As much as possible we try to communicate with each other. If he cannot call, we made a commitment that we should exchange emails everyday which is quite working for us.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
Well good for both of you goodluck!
1 person likes this
@jayarajgr (818)
• India
23 Jan 07
I have my girl friend working in a faraway place. Thanks to the technology, I talk to her everyday. Its indeed a sad experience to stay away from her. But this communication through internet also offers a chance to be more close personally.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 07
yup! internet is our main communication...we always email each other and tell stories in order to keep each other updated. sometimes we use im to see each other on webcam...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
yah thats a nice way to maintain a relationship but it only apply to people who are really meant for each other.I know somebody with a long distance relationship on the net but it never worked out.why?because..since the other party could not stay only during busy days.The partner became tempted to talk to other online chatters and unfortunately transfer of affection happened. Although it depends on the personality of each party, I really believe in destiny,whether long disntance or close relationships as long as your're meant for each other it will last forever. (",)
@Darkwing (21590)
23 Jan 07
Yes, I have. My ex-husband was in the army and often had to go away to places that I couldn't visit. For instance, he was posted to Bahrain, where there was trouble and there were no families allowed. I had my children though, so they took some of the empty time away. I used to go to bed soon after they did and read until I fell asleep, then I'd be fresh for them in the morning. It's not easy, but I wouldn't rush into marriage just for the sake of it. Wait until he comes back, and I'm sure your love for each other will be that much stronger. Remember the old saying... Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Good luck, and chin up... busy yourself with other things and he'll be home before you know it. Brightest Blessings.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 07
awww...thanks! im keeping myself busy right now with school and work. so u mean x? what happened then??? just curious if you dont mind...
@Darkwing (21590)
24 Jan 07
He finished his posting and came back to England for a while. Then he was posted to Germany, and after about 4 months, we were given married quarters out there. I lived in Germany with my family for four years, and even worked as a school lollipop lady out there. It's a great country, and although I was a bit wary of being away from my homeland for the first time, I didn't want to leave there when the 3 years was up. I loved my time out there and made lots of friends, German, and English and American soldiers' wives.
@grayxenon (1307)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
I am, my girlfriend and i met each other in the net (yahoo messenger)for 2 years now, and decided to met last May, she live about 4 provinces away from me, about 2000 kilometers or a 12 hour drive. We have a healthy and strong relationship thanks to constant communication, we see to it that we call each other almost everyday and text each other as long as time permits. Communication is important.Long-distance relationship is hard to keep, but mine is worth keeping because i know how much i love her and how much she loves me, trust is very very important, without it the relationship will not last. Don't be as paranoid as you should and trust your partner that she is continually being loyal to you. The one thing that is so hard in a long distance relationship is that when you needed an immediate affection or comfort you cannot instantly get it, call and text from the phone cannot replace the personal touch that your love can give, aside from that everything is normal as a short-distance relationship has.
1 person likes this
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
23 Jan 07
This is nice to know and i am glad that you two are doing so well. If you truly love someone then you will love them regardless of where they are!
• United States
23 Jan 07
Only you know if it's worth keeping girl. 6 to 8 months is not a long time, some people who have long distance relationships don't see each other for 1 to 2 years, so you're lucky. I think you're just lonely girl but if you love him stay faithful and hope he stays faithful as well. You are lucky your man is hard working. A lot of guys are bums.
• United States
23 Jan 07
He's in the US navy for 4 years but he went out because he was seasick. Now, he's back on ship again after 5 years. I think because the pay is better and he said I am his motivation on doing it though he is seasick and for our future. I really felt flattered...I just hope that he'll overcome being a seasick because sometimes I feel guilty.
@smints8985 (1595)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Long distance relationship is something that I would want to avoid myself, it is just that we would want to be around the one the we love every once in a while if not everyday. Just the thought of having your bf far away in the sense that you cannot do anything to see each other would definitely suck big time. It would be very hard most especially if you were accustomed to having him around for the past 2 years. But then, rushing to get married just so you have the assurance that he is yours is not a good idea either, well marriage doesn't really tie him up to you so it's not a solution. I believe that if you really were meant to be in the first place, it will happen. So think about it, maybe the relationship is worth the try, since you've been together 2 years already, the relationship you've developed is deep so just see if the foundation that you have built together for that 2 yrs will be able to withstand the distance. I think you will be able to judge as the time comes.. Goodluck!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 07
We have been through joys and pains. You name it! Within 2 years I experienced all the hurts and joys that I never imagine. Within those years I know that he's worth all the pain. He said he's doing it for our future and I am his motivation. That alone is worth keeping right!?! Thanks gurl...
@gigarange (1165)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I and my husband were in a long distance relationship for more than two years before we finally decides to get married. Do not lose hope. As long as you both are committed to make yours work and both love each other, you can bare the distance and can wait for the time when you see each other again. Trust me, when you find the right one, even if it is in long distance relationship, it is worth ALL the wait.
• United States
23 Jan 07
thats sounds inspiring...thanks!
@emquinsat (1059)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
I've been in a long distance relationship and i can say it really hard to keep it. If you intend to keep it, you have to really be patient. Always keep the lines open for communication. And be ready with the anxiety that this can give you. If you love someone, everything is worth keeping.
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
it is hard but if you trust each other and you trully love each other things will be okay just dont loose the communication you had.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Jan 07
hi your anxiety is very natural. every girl feels the same. i have my boyfriend in US and i am in india......even i thought the same you are thinkking right now. but as time passes you realise that love can cross all diatances and no term such as long distance relationship remains. what remains is just plain love. trying to communicate is one big hurdle i agree but it helps to make your bond stronger. the happiness u feel after speaking to him after days or weeks tells you how much you love him and that u cant live without him.... so just chill!! time is the best remedy
1 person likes this
@rajikoshy (743)
• India
23 Jan 07
it works, its and understanding, trust and faithfullness
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1873)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I was in a long diatance relationship with a guy i met over the net in 2005. We started our relationship May of 2005 and in Jan of 06 I went to met him. Everything turned out like a dream come true I moved back to North Carolina for personel business and not long after he also moved down here to be with me. We ended up married last June and couldnt be happier:)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Awww...we have a common factor, I met my boyfriend May 2005 through internet also. I think we both got lucky, right?!?
@mbarryton (1873)
• United States
24 Jan 07
yep we did! :)
@7nicole1 (1634)
• Canada
23 Jan 07
From my own personal experience lond distance relationships don't work but Im rooting for yours so good luck.
• United States
23 Jan 07
Thanks!!!
• United States
23 Jan 07
I don't want it to worked that way. I want to be solid and everything. I mean having flings on the other side means being unfaithful. I don't know! Glad that your relationship is going stronger.
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
It's tough being in a long distance relationship but since you really love him and you also know that she loves you so why don't you wait for him. 6 to 8 months is just a short time. Although there's a possibility that he'll meet other women, I believe that it will just be casual. Just always communicate to him but don't make him feel being monitored all the time. Even if he commits mistakes (hopefully not), in the end he'll realize that you're still the one for him. :)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I am not possessive and paranoid to monitor him. I do trust him and I'm pretty confident on what we have. We may meet some people along the way but I think it's our choice on which path to choose and I chose to be with him all the way. Thanks!
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
if i'm involved in a distant relationship, i would have to say that you won't lose anything if you keep that relationship.. but if another someone comes into your life and is always there for you, then i'd cut the relationship because i just don't think it's worth keeping when there's another someone who's really amazing.
• United States
24 Jan 07
I think if you believed in your relationship with a person, as much as possible you don't look at other people. I mean, how would it work if there is no faith and you are very open to move on? What if he's the one who found someone amazing? How would you deal with it? I think it's okay to let go if your relationship is not that deeper and you are not sure of the person your with.
• Australia
23 Jan 07
Hey if you love him, then yeah I think the relationship is worth keeping. I have been in long distance relationship too.. and although it doesnt really do it for me.. it is different for everyone. The number one rule is that to trust each other.. and keep the communication openly.. I know a couple in long distance relationship that have a certain day that they will call each others.. or meet on the net or something like that.. afterall if you love each others as much as you said.. then the relationship will be okay.. Have you discuss this with your boyfriend about how you are feeling? Is he okay and ready to commit to stay faithful to you? Dont forget.. communication and trust.. it will be the base of a strong relationship..
• United States
23 Jan 07
Yup! Our relationship is open on discussion and we both know our fears. I do trust him but I don't trust the girls who may flirt with him. You know...he's still a man and I don't think that's an excuse for flirting back right?!? Thanks!
• India
23 Jan 07
i dont want to demoralise or scare you, but long term relationships may be risky, i have never been in such situations before, but i hava seen friends repent on them and hurt when such are broken, and mosf of them do.....but if u try and have faith, nothing is impossible.......
• United States
24 Jan 07
I think it is better to risk than wondering why what would have happen if I wouldn't right?
@doncris (637)
• Romania
23 Jan 07
Well if the feelings you have for each other are those you mentioned, then of course it's worth keeping! Why waste such a beautiful fling? If your his life and if he's the one for you, than what more could you want? But you could say, not to have him gone that much...:P...That can be easily settled, you know.
• United States
24 Jan 07
Yep! I know! I don't wanna waste what we have so I'm taking a risk and I know that it's gonna be worth it.
@TerryZ (22146)
• United States
23 Jan 07
For myself I could never be in that kind of a relationship. Its just not for me. And only you know if its right for you. If your not ready for marriage or any kind of commitment why waste your time with just one person.
• United States
23 Jan 07
I know I am not wasting my time if both of us are trying to work things out. We do love each other and we have faith and trust in our relationship.
@jhoanee (599)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
hey you have to set your priorities or else everything would not fall into places. if you love your boyfriend just support what he had decided coz for sure its for both of you. and besides you are not yet ready to get married so at least you still have time to think of what you want or what you should do first. when hes away from you physically for sure in his his heart and thought u are there. im now in a long distance relationship too, but not the same as you we havent met yet. he plans to come here by august of this year so im too excited to meet him, i just hope everything turns out to be fine between the two of us. so i guess we just wish each other goodluck and we this is the one too for me...
• United States
23 Jan 07
I know that it's for us. He said that I am his motivation and it's for our future. I'm really flattered and blessed to have a boyfriend in my life. Goodluck in your relationship. Thanks!