How do you handle Triangle Relationship?

@cashnono (1135)
Hong Kong
January 22, 2007 10:32pm CST
I am not in such situation so far, but I think it will not be long before I am put into such trouble! I love my girlfriend very much, but another girl is showing her adoration to me! She is hot and also a little bit pretty! I am afraid that I can not help to falling in love with her! If that happen, what can I do? I don't want to break up with my current girlfriend. Can triangle relationship be maintained?
13 people like this
108 responses
• United States
23 Jan 07
If you really loved your girlfriend that much you wouldn't have to ask this question! If you can't control your lust for another woman any better than this, your girlfriend deserves somebody better than you.
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
skittles46, thanks for your comment and respond, I know it is unfair to my girlfriend, but I am afraid that I can not control myself. I will try my best.
@elisata (569)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 07
the thing with falling in love is this: either you let it happen, or you don't. You just don't "fall" in love by accident... If you are attracted to someone, you can nurture and entertain that attraction, or enjoy it for a day or two and go on with your life. Dpn't ever try to pass it on as "not my fault" or anything, 'cause that is a big, fat lie!
@stailgate (2363)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I agree with skittles46. If you really loved your girlfriend you would not want to share your effection with anyone but her. The fact that you are even questioning this proves that you are not ready to grow up and settle down. You need to let her know how you are feeling, she deserves someone who is devoted to just her, and wants to be with her and only her.
1 person likes this
@maribel1218 (3085)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
A NO! is the answer to your question. Why? because relationship is a one woman show!!! indeed you have 2 eyes but your focus is on one direction. Love goes beyond appearance, if you do love your girlfriend be honest to her and to yourself. It takes situation like this to separate a real MAN from a BOY. Take charge of your action. Goodluck!!!!
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
So, can you plz be so kind to tell me what makes a real man?
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
i think real men are really tested in this kind of situation,if you fall or gave in to this kind of relationship doesnt mean you're a lesser men or you're a boy,lets face it temptation is everywhere ( and yes its not good to fool around ),but what you have become after this would tell you if you are men enough to accept your foolishness...sometimes you have to experience this in order for you to know more about yourself,it just so sad that men are tested this way,its very unfotunate but it happens.
@chavezrmc (5840)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
God made man and woman for each other... it is understandable that it will be a partnership. So if you will be in a relationship, be true, coz it pays. Do unto others do unto you. How would you feel if you are in your partner's place? Always think of the feelings of your partner.If you want another then drop the other. We are humans we know what is right and what is wrong!
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
Thanks, chavezrmc. Thanks very much for you kind words. I think I know what to do now. The best respond should be yours. Thanks again.
@chavezrmc (5840)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
wowwwwwwwww, i never thought that i can be choosen to have the best response this early in this community. A friend just told me ... you're so kind to give compliments to fellow mylotters. God bless you and good luck to everything you do!
1 person likes this
@khitkhat (373)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
if you love your girlfriend, then that should be enough reason for you not to fall in love with the other...
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
25 Jan 07
Thanks, khitkhat.
@Deane_2005 (1644)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I had been in such situation before and I lost them both. I mean its really hard to have such type of relationship because it will surely be affected. No matter how you hide it your ways and emotions will be evident to both person. Guilt will surely run over your senses. My boyfriend even made me choosed between the two of them but I give up them both because I can no longer contain the guilt that overflowed my system. Having two relationship at the same time is truly not ideal. Think about it, you might suffer the consequences later on and you might regret your decision.
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
24 Jan 07
Thanks, Deane_2005, thanks for sharing your experience, though it was painful.
1 person likes this
@arlene_27 (231)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
You can, but you should not. Simple classic rules apply. If it will suck for you, it will probably suck for others. If you don't want it done to you, don't do it to others. In the simplest terms possible: Choose. Then let go. Selfishness rots the soul.
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
24 Jan 07
Thanks, arlene_27.
@frankiko (70)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
you can maintained it if the third party is willing and if shes cool with that...but you see,you cannot predict women,sometimes they're okey with it, but most of the time they want you always,which is so impossible to do because you are committed to your gf,and eventually your gf will soon find out coz you're changing,your cold, your always tense,and the feeling of guilt,men you cannot bear it,seeing your girl so in love and honest with you but you..there's something in you that you can't explain that hurts everytime she's so sweet with you...but you can't leave the other one,because the excitement is there,its new...its dangerous thats why you have more adrenalin and its more exciting.and there's something in there that's asking for more..i should say...i been there,you can't do it men...my advice if you really wana go for it,for sure you'll be there,you'll fall with that,just control yourself,your emotion,just keep thinking of the HOT thing,but not the feelings,now if you really feel something,some magic,you got to decide,who's gonna be...your gonna be a mess if you dont...
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
Thanks frankiko for showing me the alternative results that if I am in such relationship. I will keep in mind and will never do such thing as long as I am in control of myself.
• United States
23 Jan 07
It's people like you who gives love a bad name. Shame on you. You already know you don't want to lose your girlfriend, then why do something that will really break her heart and hate you???? You should choose between the two of them and not play with them like toys. I'm sure you wouldn't want your girl to cheat on you. So don't do anything if you already know it's wrong!
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
Thanks marief2rnurse. Yes, you are right, how should I have such thought!!!
@rsa101 (17104)
• Quezon City, Philippines
23 Jan 07
Can a triangle relationship survive? Definitely no! you have to decide the soonest possible time before everything becomes too late. You might end up losing one or both of them in the process of maintaining such a relationship. Weight everything else though before jumping in a new or maintain the old relationship. You can only answer who really weighs more in your relationship. I know it would be a vaery hard and painful decision. Whatever it may be you both will fee the pain and joy.
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
Thanks, rsa101.
@alchemistrx (2567)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
It is really unfair to your girlfriend to mingle with another. Be contented with your girlfriend and don't look too far for another girl. Triangle relationships are a crowd.
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
Thanks alchemistrx.
@JessieMae (345)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Personally, me...if my boyfriend fell in love or whatever with another girl, there is no way I would be in a relationship with both of them. I couldn't..I don't want to have to see someone else in bed with my boyfriend or whatever. I think it's wrong to have more than one person in a relationship. But I guess if that's the kind of relationship that you want, then that's what you should do. Just make sure both of the females are up for the same thing lol.
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
My girlfrend is a little bit conservative, I guess she will certainly kill me or kick me away if I do that. I think we will be over if I count another lady in.
• United States
23 Jan 07
No, it cannot be maintained. If you love the girl you are with now, you would not think you were in love with the other girl. You can't have both, unless they agree, lol..they might like that. But in a normal relationship, if you love the person, you wouldn't even consider being with someone else.
2 people like this
@cashnono (1135)
• Hong Kong
23 Jan 07
I think I just a little bit too amorous; and I found that I can fall in love with someone easily.
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
perhaps one is love and the other one is lust. stick to your love one.
2 people like this
24 Jan 07
C'mon! make up your mind!
2 people like this
@pagli84 (1850)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 07
if you really loved your girlfriend as you say you do, then there would be no problem. when you love someone, you cant even imagine being with anybody else, even if that other person is "hot" and "a little bit pretty." no offense, but it seems to me like you dont really know what love is. if you love your girlfriend, then how can you "not help to falling in love with" this other girl? love isn't just some little thing, and its not really normal to love multiple people especially not only because they like you and they are hot. if you truly love your girlfriend and want to be with her, you should make sure this new girl knows that you have a girlfriend and that you are not interested in her and that you want her to stop with her advances. otherwise, maybe its best to be honest to yourself and your girlfriend and break up with her so that she doesn't get hurt if you happen to fall in love with this new girl or do something with her.
2 people like this
• Pakistan
23 Jan 07
Look as long as your are honest and true to yourself things will work out just fine, you can give the other girl a hint that you are already in a relationship and you are not interested nor seeking someone else. Take it from a guy who had been in a love square! Yes three girls and me! I was in a heck of a dilema but I managed to muster up my courage and invite all three girls to dinner and introduced them to each other, they were shocked to see that I already have a gf, by the way I never proposed them or had any relationship with them, they were the ones interested in me and my gf was shocked as well to see me getting two other girls whilst she thought it was a private date. Yes my ex-gf did admire my guts and the two other girls also did, they told me individually that although they were dissapointed to know that I was in a relationship, they were thankful that I didn't play with them.
2 people like this
@kfg20012003 (1037)
• India
23 Jan 07
Always keep in mind that it involves more pain as compared to a normal relationship because your partner is already with someone else.Never try to be friends with your partner because those feelings will rarely go away and you will always be tempted to carry on with the relation.Don't end the relation by fighting or on a negative note. After all, you both have shared a special bond.You may feel angry at your partner for staying in his primary relation or for making promises that are not being kept. But clear all misunderstandings and fights before ending the relation.Don't get depressed. Instead try to rejuvenate yourself and try to be happy.
23 Jan 07
there is an aphorism in armenian says "you can't hold two melons with one hand", in fact you have two hands, but be careful. I think you should have some control on your heart, cause as you have mentioned above, "she is hot and pretty", so, if you will fall in love whenever a pretty and a hot girl shows her adoration to you, this means you are already in trouble or, to be honest, your girlfriend is in trouble. We are human beings and we have control on ourselves, we can't live according to our instincts. It's hard to handle a triangle relationship, you can't live with lies forever, it's so weary.
@sahil49 (28)
• India
23 Jan 07
dude triangle relationship can be very well maintained and has more advantages too. in future if one of ur girlfriend pissed u off then u hav one more to spend ur life with.I recommend u to carry on with the other girl and sideways keep ur current girlfriend unaware of that. dont break up with ur girlfriend and break her heart before she does.
@hazeter (671)
• Philippines
23 Jan 07
i think it is very hard to think that you are involve in triangle relationship. But if that hapepnd to me maybe i will just leave them alone. if the guy loves me and choose me then he will follow me and if not then he choose the other girl. Dont want to force myself to anybody. Also there are lots of boys.