please don't force me to talk to my ex boyfriend again!

@maryannemax (12170)
Sweden
January 23, 2007 9:25am CST
i met my ex boyfriend's mom last sunday. she keeps on calling me saying that she wants to see me. out of respect, i met her. however, she always asked me to please see her son and have a talk together. she wants us to be together again in a relationship. i told her that i don't love her son anymore. i even told her how much her son hurt my feelings and the reasons why i lost my love for him. but still she kept on insisting. she already knows that i have a boyfriend and i am happy with my relationship and i don't want to talk to my ex boyfriend anymore. why do some people force us to do something we don't want to do?
11 people like this
61 responses
@SimplyJo (1694)
• India
23 Jan 07
Well it happens dear. Mom's always think the best for their kids - she knows her son won't get anything better..ever :)so she went thru all the trouble. so what if she tried - you'd also want the best for your kid . Love ofcourse is one thing that can NEVER be forced upon someone so i guess that area should be 'taboo' even for over protective/loving moms. You don't worry too much about her/others - just enjoy your life with your new guy.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
yes. i am enjoying my time with my new boyfriend and i am with him for 9months already. and i love him so much. it's just that i am bothered because she calls me and texts me most of the time.
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
I guess she really loves you and think u are good for him. However she does not have the right to interfear like this, she should be told that as well.. You are happy with your new bf, do not let someone else ruin it. he had his chanse and he blew it.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
yep. she really wanted me to end up with his son. like get married with his son after sometime. but she knew how much pain i suffered with his son and i don't want to suffer again with him! and yes. i am very happy now and i won't let anybody or anything interfere!
1 person likes this
@Rashu169 (4391)
• India
23 Jan 07
well thats so very what would i say wrong of her...relationship should be based on understanding and liking...tell her clearly that you arent keen on her son anymore ... and even if u guys get back you both will be doing injustice to eachothers feeling and even to the relationship...as you have already told her that u are seeing someone else then just stick to ur point and try not to meet her or talk to her.....As to why some people are like that is bcoz tthey think they are just correct
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
i don't really like the way she's pushing me to be with her son again. it's so frustrating. i thought she wanted to see me to atlest see how i am doing after not seeing her for 2 years (i broke up with her son in 2005). she should atleast respect my new relationship. and i don't wanna see her again.
2 people like this
@imadriscoll (2230)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I think that out of respect to your present boyfriend that you should cut off your relationship with your relationship with your ex's mom... if she continues to pressure you to get back with your ex. I know that from some of your other posts that your ex didn't treat you well and that he ignored you. He doesn't seem like the kind of person you would want to spend your life with while your now boyfriend seems to be very loving. She can't force you to do anything, though it sounds like she's trying. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that if she continues to bring up her son and having a relationship with him that you will no longer talk to her or be her friend. Best of luck!
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
hello. thanks for remembering my posts. i really had my worst 8 years with her son that's why i had lots of experiences to share here. i do sound like a fool sometimes but i just want to open up to people here and let my ugly past be a lesson to others as well. and yep. it isn't nice to force me to love back his son. love can't be forced. and once it's been hurt, it's hard to stitch back the pieces again. plus the fact that i am in a very loving relationship now, i don't want my relationship with my present boyfriend just be put to waste.
1 person likes this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Wow. In my opinion, she's really crossing the line. What kind of man is he that he needs his mother to get his ex girlfriend back for him. Just wow. If I were you, I would simply tell her that you've moved on and keep repeating it everytime you run into her. Do not meet up with her, say that you are busy. Good luck. I hope she gets the message!
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
yep.i am not ignoring her calls and text messages. i am still upset that i don't even want to hear her voice at present.
1 person likes this
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I think she just really like you to be her daughter in law and maybe you changed her son for a better person before but I think that is too rude to force you to talk to his son even you don't want too. I think her son must be the one to talk to you or approach you first if he is the reason why you got break up before. She must also respect that you already have your own love life now. Its good that you explain your side to her so she will not misunderstand you.
1 person likes this
@vdhill (65)
• United States
24 Jan 07
If you've told this woman how you feel, you have no further obligation to her. When she calls again, tell her that you are not going to see her son and you would rather she didn't call you anymore. You'll have to be firm with her; otherwise, she will perceive your hesitancy as doubt and keep calling you. Under no circumstances should you see this guy now. Even if it were in your mind to do so, the ex boyfriend should make the approach, not his mother. Hopefully, you'll have the courage to follow through on this.
@pearl1003 (671)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Some people are too pushy to do things that we don't want to do because they simply don't understand how we feel. They are being selfish... They only think what's right for them, what they want to happen to their lives... They don't think about what we want, what we like, or even what makes us happy... We shouldn't deal with them anymore, or perhaps, let's just kill these people with our kindness by still keeping the good memories we had with them even if they are hurting us with their selfishness.
1 person likes this
@ginagee (843)
24 Jan 07
2 years is a long time, I don't understand why she would be still going on about it. Out of curiosity what is your ex doing? Surely he is with someone else by now and does HE know that his mother is contacting you like this. You should not answer her calls and should just delete her texts and then have no more contact. You have shown her respect now she should respect you and let you get on with your life. Don't let the past intrude into your present relationship. My best wishes to you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
What kind if guy is he?if he realy wanted you to love him he would have done it when you where still together,and bout the mothers request,actually she cannot compel you to do so,nor intervene in your life...mam try to be angry sometimes and assert your privacy...peace to you mam(shalom)
@trysameer (219)
• India
24 Jan 07
this is the nature of this world, the things we do'nt like, they will always insist us to do that things...they always are seeking for their own happiness, inspite of thinking of our feelings...they will never try to feel our emotions, they wil just carve for their own problems..i also faced such probs..and really, i just evaded this problem by, simply just ignoring them...! thats it...thats what the life is all about..
@oleinoleo (389)
• Malaysia
24 Jan 07
maybe his mother hope you can be her daughter in law. She know, you r the best for her son. i knew, your relationship was 8 years right? so, i think his mother know u better and see the good manner inside. but shen cant force you infact you have new boyfrend and you feel happy with him. so, better u just ignore her and carry on your life now. you have your own life, you free to make a choice for great future
@jhaime (134)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
It's better to move on and be not affected with your ex boyfriend's mother. You have your good life now with your new bf. What happened with you and tour bf is just part of the past.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Jan 07
yes you are saying right its on you to talk with your ex boyfriend or not so your parents should not look into your matter.............
1 person likes this
@Bangalorean (1282)
• India
24 Jan 07
why, whatz the problem in just speaking to him? He deserves,for the sake of all the good times spent together before
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 07
I think it is great that you spoke to your ex's mom. If she continues with her trying to get you to go back with her son, you just need to stop taking her calls. That is the only way do end it.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
i already tried to tell her about it. that i have no feelings towards his son anymore. but she keeps on bugging me. and now, i am not answering her calls anymore.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 07
Good for you. Stand your ground.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
23 Jan 07
and yes for sure. i really will!
@aslygirl (531)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
Well for my opinion maybe the mother was so upset and frustrated seeing his son maybe ruin his life.All mother will do that for the sake of their child.Maybe you should understand the mother ok, but it doesnt mean you should do what she wants to do with you.Hmmm Still its your life and she must respect what is your decision.If you dont want to see his son then she must respect it.Just dont be upset everything will be ok!
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
24 Jan 07
yep. she's just protective about his son's feelings. but i am looking forward for her respect to me and my current boyfriend. but i know in due time she will understand my side.
@aslygirl (531)
• Philippines
25 Jan 07
Yeah time may heal all!
@aarroonn (160)
• Nepal
24 Jan 07
you have to give dam for it and you have to shout for him.
• United States
24 Jan 07
wth is that supposed to mean?
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
24 Jan 07
maybe aarroonn is just telling me to fight for my current boyfriend and not to agree with her about talking to her son again.
• United States
24 Jan 07
Any guy that has to have his mommy tend to his romantic matters for him is definitely not worth the trouble. Change your number and move on. No guilt for the mommy, either, hon. You showed respect, now if she can't respect your feelings in return, you owe her nothing.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
24 Jan 07
yep. i really owe her nothing. and i do respect her and i am hoping that she respects me as well.
@nhingneng (131)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
she must really like you that much, to hope that the two of you can still make up and be together again though it was very wrong of her to be like that knowing that you already had your special someone. maybe you can introduce your boyfriend to her so she can stop disturbing you knowing how serious you are with your present relationship.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
24 Jan 07
i will introduce my boyfriend to her when he's here. he is actually from sweden and i am from the philippines. he came over last year but i wasn't able to introduce him to her. but in july i might.