The perfect gap between kids?

@carlaabt (3505)
United States
January 23, 2007 11:41pm CST
What do you think the perfect gap between siblings is? I know there isn't a perfect gap that is the same for all families. I was just wondering what kind of space you have between yours or how much you would like to have. I think between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years is good. My mom says that is too close because I wouldn't give my son enough time to just be a baby. What do you think?
8 people like this
20 responses
@superchook (1786)
• Australia
4 Apr 07
I think that is a perfect time. I had my first son and then 2 1/2 years later I had my second then 18 months after that I had my 3rd, then there was a big gap of 5 years when I had my fourth. I preferred them closer together because if your still getting up through the night or doing nappies, then it doesn't feel any different when your next one comes along. I found with the big gap, I had to get back into the routine of doing nappies, getting up at night all over again.
2 people like this
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
5 Apr 07
My son has been sleeping 10 hours or more straight in a row since he was about six months. So it would still be something new to get back in the habit of, even if we get pregnant soon! We're probably going to start working on the potty training toward the end of summer/start of fall, so that might be something he's done with to by the time we actually have another baby. We'll see how it goes. He's only 14 months old, but he already shows an interest in the potty, and we almost always know when he is going.
@Bev1986 (1427)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I agree with you... 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 years would allow the kids to be involved in similar activities and be friends. My girls are 3 1/2 years apart, 4 years in class grades, and it was alright when they were little, but now that they are teens, they have nothing in common. They bicker and fight constantly because the older one says the younger one is so immature. Well of course she is! She just turned 13 and is in Junior High! lol! She was just as immature at that age too, but she doesn't see it that way. I have a friend that says that once they get out of the teen years, they will get a lot closer. I hope so... they drive me crazy some days now! lol!
2 people like this
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
25 Jan 07
They might become good friends once they grow up. I know my husband and his sister are just over 3 years apart and fought like crazy when they were younger, too. Now he considers her to be his best friend. It doesn't always work out like that, though. I have a sister 4 years older than me that I talk to maybe once a month. I am a lot closer to my sister that is 2.5 years younger than me, though. I talk to her every day.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
I think 1 to 2 years is a good gap between children this way they will grow up together and have more in common with each other. To much of a gap I've heard isn't a good thing. Beside with 1 or 2 years between them they will always have a playmate to play with.
2 people like this
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I agree. The main reason we want our kids close together is because my husband is in the Air Force. It would be nice for my kids to have built in best friends no matter how many times we move.
2 people like this
@vaivhav (355)
• India
4 Apr 07
Your mother's point is a good one, if i were you, i would take it into consideration. Anyway, as for me, me and my brother share a difference of 4 years, and it works out perfect for both of us. I would personally suggest a gap of 3-4 years, in this way, both of them will get enough time to enjoy their birth, and your elder son will be in a good age to enjoy and understand the benefits of a new born brother/sister.
2 people like this
@cherriemae (3375)
• Philippines
1 Apr 07
I think the perfect gap between kids is 3yrs. apart. It's important to have birth space. Because we need to rest our body from birthing. It's not good for us moms to gave birth every year. And yes, i agree with your mom, that if you have that too close gaps in your kid, you cant give your son enough time to have fun with you. That if you have close gaps between your kids, the older kid might feel insecure because he has already younger sibling.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Mar 07
I think that the natural gap is a good one. Usually if you nurse the baby it will be around 2 years between children. My two boys were this way, with 20 months between them, and I like that because they have a lot in common. My daughter is older than her brother by 4 years, and sometimes its hard for her to figure out whether to help me or play with the boys. All in all, I think allowing the natural spacing of a family is the best.
@carmat (2850)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
Ours our about 2 years with the exception of #1 & 2 which are 4 years apart. I think it would be nice to have them a little closer some times because the differance in interests.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jan 07
I have 3 kids. My oldest two are 7 and 5 and are 26 months apart. My youngest will be 2 in March. I think it's nice to have an age gap by a couple of years or a little over. My friend had her two youngest be only one year apart and she has had a hard time with them only being a year apart. It depends on the person, how much help they have and what they can handle.
• United States
24 Jan 07
I agree with you.. but, really it depends on the person & what they want & can handle. My sister has two of her girls 14 months apart & I love the age gap-- they'll be so close & they will have eachother in school. Unfortunately we didn't time it right & are still trying for a baby & my daughter is 14 months old, but I just think the closer the better.
2 people like this
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
31 Aug 07
well i think the best is about 2 years apart,but that didnt happen for me.i have 3 babies and there is only 10 1/2 months apart.2 are twins.but its great in the long run because they will be very close and grow up together,but now its rough for me because its so hard.but i always manage because thats my babies.
1 person likes this
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
1 Sep 07
I can't imagine having three babies! I'm sure it's crazy at your house, but a good crazy most of the time. :) My son is 19 months old now, and we've decided to put off trying for another baby until next summer. My husband is deploying in February, and I would really prefer to have him here for the pregnancy and birth. :) I kind of wish we would be having a baby before he leaves, so that my kids would be around 2 years apart, but 3-3.5 (or more) is apparently what is going to work best for my family.
@lonnieN (428)
• United States
5 Mar 07
you are more right than your mom. I love having twins. But to answer your question: I think GOD's plan is the best! I think leaving it totally up to HIM is the way to go. All forms of birth control are unhealthy for at least one of the couple and in my humble opinion bad for the family. Don't use any birth control and allow GOD to decide the spacing between your children!
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Mar 07
Agrred!
@design (848)
• Ireland
3 Mar 07
There is 18 months between the girls and 5 years between the youngest girl and our son. I feel 18 months was just perfect both for them and for me, where having the 5 years (which was planned) between them will be harder as teenagers.
1 person likes this
@armywifey (883)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I don't think there is a perfect gap. I think it varies from family to family. I know that my youngest brother and I are 11 years apart and that there is no real relationship there, we don't get along much and the way he is raised differently from myself makes me angry. My daughters are all 2 years and 3 months apart (it wasn't planned that way) and they all have a wonderful relationship. They play good together and it works for us.
1 person likes this
@crystal8577 (1470)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Well I have a few age gaps. My older 2 are 20 months apart. Let me tell you a lot of the time they are not friends at all. They fight like crazy & it drives me nuts. O-kay thne there is the baby. There is 7 1/2 years between her & the oldest & just under 6 between her & middle child. It seems to work out for now. I am not sure about how well it will be once she gets a bigger though.
1 person likes this
• Australia
17 Sep 07
The gaps between my children are, 5.5 years, 11 months and then finally 17 months. The three younger ones all close together are much easier than having a big gap. They all get along really well together, especially the closest girls, they act like twins. The older one teases the younger kids quite a bit and I think it is to get some attention and I find that quite stressful! I have been able to give all of my kids enough time to be babies - well they are all still my babies ;) - and I don't think that it is age gap that effects children so much as the time you are able to spend with them one on one. I would always recommend to others to have kids close together as it has worked so well with us, and I have also seen it work for others. Good luck with your baby making ;)
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Your kids are really close together! I don't know if I would be able to handle three that close together. We've decided to put off having another kid for a while still. My husband deploys this winter, and he doesn't want to miss the pregnancy and definitely not the birth of our next baby, so we are going to wait until he gets back to start trying again. So Elliott will be at least 3 before he becomes a big brother.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
19 Sep 07
I think there can't be anyting that can be said ideal gap. Still very little kids one after another- mother is going to have problem. I am 7 years younger than my brother. But I think 3-5 yrs gap is good.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
18 Sep 07
I say 2 to 4 years. My brother and I are 3 years. Even though there were plenty of high tension points, we're buds.
• United States
13 Sep 07
I got pregnant with my 2nd child when she was 18 months...she was almost 27 months when the baby was born. I think its a good age difference. The baby is almost 10 months, and my oldest is 3. they play together in their own way right now. Its really sweet to hear them both laughing at each other and such.
@jz1977 (84)
• United States
3 Sep 07
Yeah I think it depends on the family. My #1 & #2 children are 6 1/2 years apart. My #2 & #3 are 2 years apart. I think 3 years is a perfect age gap.
@ragmama (536)
• United States
10 Apr 07
All a matter of personal opinion...I know parents with kids barely ten months apart that swear by it, and others with years between theirs that wouldn't have it any other way. Personally, I always thought that about two years sounded good - they'd still play together well as children, be close as adults (hopefully), etc. My plan and God's plan for our family obviously weren't the same, though - my daughter will be 3 1/2 (nearly four) when her little brother or sister is born. I'm already finding advantages to that too, though - she's old enough to actually want and ask for a sibling, understand (to a degree) that a baby equals more work for (and less attention from) Mommy and Daddy, and even help out a bit once the baby arrives. Basically, I guess you make whatever happens work for your family. :)