Why do we have to fall in love?

United States
January 28, 2007 10:12am CST
I've been asking myself this question all night long. It's not that I'm against love or anything, but my god, I can't seem o get it right. I'm currently dating (2 1/2yrs.) this guy, Jason, he's 7 years younger than me and at first I didn't think that it would be a bad thing. He made me feel young and beautiful, lately though...it's like taking care of one of my kids! He lies all the time, stays out all night getting drunk with his buddies, I am beginning to think that he is cheating on me....and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I feel awful because I've never given up on anthing in my life really and I do love him. I'm stuck...HELP!
11 people like this
81 responses
• United States
28 Jan 07
I hear what you are saying....Its so hard when you give your heart away and they dont take care of it. Men seem to do that more than women, in my opinion. Unfortunately, love is an emotion that is part of us. When we open our hearts and become vulnerable to the other person there is an emotion that comes out of us that keeps us in extasy and so we become addicted to that feeling. When that feeling is not there because the other person is not reciprocating, then it hurts. Its always hard at first, the feeling is almost unbearable, but it will pass. If you have friends, stay close to them and let them help you through this. Its not good to be alone when going through a breakup. I wish you well.
2 people like this
• India
29 Jan 07
hi k , I understand how diff it might be to stuck in relationship which u neithr can keep nor can throw off. But since u sd that u r really in love wt him u can atleast mk him try to understand how miserable u r feeling . If this dsnt work atall ,then i think u should move on....i know it would b very very diff, but then life is too short to b stuck in this kind of relationship.. goodluck!!! hope god gives u the strenght to sort out ur problem fast n in the best possible way.
@dodododo3 (375)
• India
29 Jan 07
Don't depend on anyone in ur life.Always try to feel happy without other's presence,only this give u peace in ur life.
2 people like this
• Singapore
29 Jan 07
A couple or more years of a relationship takes a lot of effort. Thinking that he's telling you lies, getting drunk all night would mean there's something he wanted to tell you but he can't express verbally that's why he's doing it in such a way. Why not spend some time talking to him,of course, when he's not drunk. Take the initiative to ask him in a nice manner what seems to be wrong and if there's something both of you should talk about. Then you can start from there. Dont ever nag! That would make a guy even more irritated or inferior and they dont want to be treated that way.Make them feel thay are being valued. Its worth saving a relationship especially you believed you really love your guy.
• United States
29 Jan 07
I think that if you really love him , you may want to consider letting him go . You already have feelings that change the nature of your relationship . You're starting to see him as your child , then on top of that , you don't like his behavior and you think he may be cheating . Those thoughts that you have were brought on by things that he's done . Before you start to resent him and start doing things to get back at him , you should free both yourself and him . Our intuition is there for a reason . It is there to protect us and others from harm . Do you understand what I'm saying to you ?
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
being inlove is the most wonderful thing in this world, we fall in love because of the good qualities of a person, but when all your expectations failed,we fell out of love and get disappointed. if you really love him accept for what he is,but if you feel that he is just using you,leave him and find another that will love you as much as you love him,,, goodluck and be happy.
2 people like this
@charmz07 (86)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
I agree with all the posters, if you think that he's giving you more negative than positive...then let him go. You will find someone deserving eventually and at the same you allow him to learn.
@sunita64 (6473)
• India
29 Jan 07
Well that is the problem of being in love and specially if only one person is sincere and other is not. More delay you will do in giving him up more will be the suffering so better get rid of him, sorry I may be hurting you but this is what left for you to do.I do not see any other alternative.
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
Men dont mature as fast as women..and when u are with someone younger than you they tend to be not on the same level of maturity as yours. You weigh down first the postive and the negative things he gives in ur relationship..if the negative things are more than the positive ones then u have to let go..just think abt the 2yrs uve been wasting for him when u could have entertained someone better
2 people like this
@doniker (493)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I am a 43 year old married man and before I hooked up with my wife I had several relationships. Some ended because it was my fault, some were the woman's fault, some were nobody's fault..we just changed as time went on and the relationship ended. If you feel things aren't right and if their is more bad than good in the relationship talk to him about it and then decide if you should break up. Trying to change the other person is a waste of time...the only way a relationship works is when each person can learn to deal with and accept the other person's faults. Accept him as is or dump him.
2 people like this
@yogiraut (230)
• India
29 Jan 07
u first of all need to put down on paper what u want in ur BF. Then see whether this guy has it. if yes plz carry on. If "no' say "bye"
@archiee (322)
• India
29 Jan 07
i think i even go with your opinion
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
being inlove is out of our control. it's a feeling that would suprisingly occur. before you knew it, it's already there and grows deeper. it's hard to overcome it because it has it's own mind. being hurt is also part of falling inlove. it makes you more mature and stronger as a person. it allows you to understand the meaning of love, that it is deeper and hard to be explained. just be wise in every decision you make and use your brain sometimes if you really feel that something is wrong even you love the person so much.
1 person likes this
@unisis (1674)
• Indonesia
29 Jan 07
i think this is of human being ,can not life alone so we need to fall in love with other but in your case you have dating for 2 and half years and you have known your self about him although he is younger than you,you need to know what is the cause of him drunk with his buddies,probably he got the problem in his environment ,please ask him the roo cause so you can give advice to him .
• China
29 Jan 07
because we are attracting each other, for his action, his talking, his looking, or his beauty, his wealthy, his relatioon. maybe your bf have some trouble now, if you can help him then pls give helpto him, if you can't, let it be. when the time pass, you can know what is reason your bf love you, then you can take next action.
1 person likes this
@skyhit (390)
• Indonesia
29 Jan 07
i dont why we have to fall in love
1 person likes this
@firoafame (359)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
29 Jan 07
i am sorry to say this sooner or later both of you will break up but don't worry you are loosing someone who doesn't love you but he is loosing someone who loves him. so he is the looser
1 person likes this
@hobohobo (681)
• Indonesia
29 Jan 07
why, surely i don't know either. I think it's we not have to fall in love but we will fall in love, because love is a basic human feeling. We will fall in love before we know it, and it come suddenly before we ready to have that feeling. Fall in love is not bad thing, i'm sure that, so if we have to fall in love, hope we found the right person so we never feel sorry to fall in love. Just some advice for you, if you feel that your relationship won't work in the future i think you must end it, just advice from me, :)
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
29 Jan 07
Oh I do know what you mean but I do not think that this relationship is going to go anywhere with what you have said, here as it seems that he does a lot of things like a child, and therefore I think it is better for you to find someone your own age group so that you both have the same things in common and not a toy boy.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 07
hey , i just suggest that you talk to him about it, reserve a day for this , and tell him what you feel , and that if he keeps doing that , you are leaving , even though you love him , just be patient , probably he does too, but it is just that he start feelin himself that he is with a beautiful and nice person ,well if he say he doesn,t wanna stay with you, probably he is cheating on you, then just leave him , he will regret and come back, because he probably wont find somebody treating him the same!!!
1 person likes this
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
loving is just part of being a human being..we need someone to makes us inspire, someone we will take care and same thing they do on us. use there in times of pain or happiness..but dont forget loving is also learning and sacrificing. if you think he didnt grew as a matured person when ur there i think u should make a decision. u should let him be matured on his own ways and learn life with himself..its hard to let go but sometimes its the best thing to do in life, for you and for your partner too.
1 person likes this
@mae168 (170)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
Honestly, I used to ask myself this king of question everynow and then..but until now i cannot find the answer..
1 person likes this