Out of the Closet on MySpace...but not to her family

United States
January 28, 2007 10:47pm CST
Uggg..I just went to a friend's Myspace page and she says that she is a lesbian. Her family has no idea though. Her brother is on her friend's list, but he isn't the most observant guy. Should I say something or keep my mouth shut?
7 people like this
23 responses
@Tarrish (562)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I wouldn't out your friend if that's what your asking. Are you saying you want to say something to her? Like why she's out on myspace, but why she isn't out to her family. Maybe it's just to hard to come out to her family right now. Maybe she's worried they won't accept her. My friend is out on his myspace because he feels comfortable with his friends knowing, but he'll do anything possible to keep his sexuality away from his mother. This is because she wouldn't accept his way of life what so ever. It's a scary thing people have to deal with. You can ask her about it, but be as supportive as possible if you're really her friend you know? I don't know if you're gay or straight so excuse me if you are gay....then you would totally understand what I'm saying. lol
1 person likes this
@Sweetpeas (739)
• Australia
30 Jan 07
Hey there, actually my sister is going through the same thing (she is nearly 21), she eventually 'came out'to our parents but it was very hard for her. While all her friends and no doubt aqaintances allready knew it was mostly hard for her to tell her dad, who she is an only child too. Of course he was a little upset but like i told her...hey each to there own, and like she told me....i wont be labeled! According to her its not that shes a 'lesbian' as such its the fact that she is in love with another woman at this prsent time in her life. I dont know the person your talking about obviously ;) but im wondering if shes allready comfortable around her friends etc and its only the family that doesnt know? Maybe shes hopeing they will work it out for themselves.....either way, i know your intentions may be right as you are close with her brother but i really dont think its your place to tell her family. She'll do it when shes ready, after all its her life and her family.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
Keep your mouth shut. This is her decision when she comes out to her family. Maybe she wants her brother to find out but it is not your place to do so. She will come out to her family when and if she is ready. It's easier to come out to your friends first, gain some confidence and then come out to your parents than any other order. Keep your mouth shut, maybe you could talk to your friend about talking to her family but do not talk to her family or you will lose a friendship.
• United States
30 Jan 07
I think it would be best to stay out of it honey. It will backfire, and you will get blamed.
1 person likes this
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
30 Jan 07
It is hard to know whether to speak out or keep quiet. Maybe mention to her brother to check out her mySpace and see what he may find! Tell him to read carefully and pay attention to it!!
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Maybe he already knows and is keeping his mouth shut.
@Wanderlaugh (1625)
• Australia
29 Jan 07
Say nothing. You can't achieve anything useful if you do say anything. The family is probably being kept in the dark for a good reason. Some people are pretty hyper about things like that. If the brother's a friend, he's either unaware or keeping his own mouth shut.
• United States
29 Jan 07
The funny thing..this family is so open to homosexuality. I know that doesn't make it easy for her, but she should know her parents are not going to respond by turning her away or anything like that. I should have mentioned above that I am a lot closer to her brother than I am to her. I probably shouldn't have even called her a friend. I just know her through him.
• Canada
29 Jan 07
If I was in that situation I would let it slide for a little bit and talk to your friend about it first. Then if her family asks you anything then that would be the time to say something. Because you don't want to betray your friends trust but at the same time her brother is your friend too.
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
31 Jan 07
She never said that the brother was also her friend, just that he's on the other girl's friends page.
• United States
29 Jan 07
Well there is really nothing for you to say. I mean your friend is not stupid she knows that basically she has publicly came out. It will get back to her family quickly. Maybe this is what she wants a way to open the door without actually being the one to say it. I would just leave it alone and let it work itself out. The subject is so touchy that you do not want to get in the middle of it. Best wishes...
@myrith (1830)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
I agree with you word for word, it should work itself out, without any interference.
• Andorra
1 Mar 07
I think it's really none of your business actually.I dont think you should say anything because it's her choice and her life. By the word "Uggg" i assume you have a problem with it? Therefore if you were to tell her friends and family...she doesn't need u as a friend anyway.
• United States
1 Mar 07
Definately leave it alone. I have been an out lesbian for the past 16 years and the one thing that upset me more than anything was being talked about. If I wanted someone to know, I was perfectly capable of speaking without a translator. If you feel you need to do anything at all, just tell this person it is obvious to you so they can be mre discrete if that is what they wish to do. This person may not be ready to identify as a lesbian completely and may just be checking the water.
@inked4life (4228)
• United States
1 Feb 07
You shouldn't say a thing. No offence, but it's really none of your business. She'll come out to her family if and when she is ready.
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
1 Feb 07
I am guessing that your friend has taken the first step of "outing" herself to her family. If u publish it in myspace you are bound to get "caught" and maybe that is what she´s hoping for, so that she doesn´t have to tell them herself. However I think you should keep out of it and let her tell them herself - I am guessing it won´t be long until they know, and then u can be there and support her as afriend, incase something goes wrong!
• United States
31 Jan 07
I think that it might be a good idea to talk to her about it. I would say to her that she should talk to her family about it. If she is ready to come out to millions of people that she dosen't even know, it might be time to talk to her parents at least. My opinion, but if it's on myspace she might want to tell her folks before word gets around and someone else does. Its always better to hear from the person themself
• United States
31 Jan 07
I would keep quiet about it. This could be her way of telling her family. They may be open to homosexuality but I imagine it is still hard to tell family.
@rmuxagirl (7570)
• United States
31 Jan 07
You should keep your mouth shut. It is not your place to tell people whether or not your friend is gay. If you do say something to someone that could end the friendship. Let her find her own time/way to come out to her family. Also talk to her about it. my myspace page says I'm divorced but I'm not, it's just something I put up to see what kind of reaction I get. You don't want to say something before knowing the facts.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
31 Jan 07
It's not your place to say anything. Be a friend and stay out of it or as others said talk to HER, not her family - that's her place and best you can do is stand with her when she does.
@Laydee83 (275)
• Atlanta, Georgia
30 Jan 07
Why do you care? Its not your life. Why do you feel that you need to say something anyway? Its none of your business. If she put it on blast on myspace let her deal with the outcome. It has nothing to do with you. Keep your paws out of the dirt.
@mzbubblie (3840)
• United States
30 Jan 07
I would say just leave it, obviously your friend knows what she is doing... You could express to her the pro's and con's to doing that...If say her brother or someone else who knows them see that..Would they directly ask her or ask her brother or another family member... With so many people on myspace, there is no telling who would notice...Just let her know anything is possible and alot could come out of posting she is a lesbian on myspace....Like her family finding out...
• United States
30 Jan 07
Hmm..If she went open about it in her orientation status, I wouldn't take it too seriously. I posted Bi just to see the reaction I'd get from people to see who's really viewing my profile inside and out. If she posted a whole BLOG about it, then yeah, she's probably serious about it.
@missyd79 (3442)
• United States
30 Jan 07
well this is really not your place to say anything. If she is your friend you will accept her no matter what and be there when she finally does come out to her family. But honestly why interfer with such a personal issue between her and her family.