when to let go

United States
January 31, 2007 10:29pm CST
Your child is over eighteen, has her own child. You've done everything humanly possible to encourage her. Offered advice, drove her around, listened.... everything. She knows it all and still refuses to get out on her own. She lives with her father's mother. I know I've done my best, but why do I feel so guilty?
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
1 Feb 07
I think you should be grateful that your daughter has a roof over her head and is doing everything she can to raise her own child. My younger sister is twenty-two, she had a near two year old little girl, and she has been living with my parents all along. Without the help of our family, my sister would have probably wound up on the streets, and we would never have known the wonderful blessing that is my niece. So many parents have expectations for their children, but they need to be severed. Let her live her own life and make her own mistakes.
• United States
2 Feb 07
thank you. Bruce has been telling me this all along.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 07
you've no reason to feel guilty, you did all you could and now its up to her to try to be an adult and take on the world, hopefully she will remember what you have taught her and the love you've give her. My daughter just married and I hope she remembers what we've taught her and applies to her life now! Your in my thoughts!
• United States
2 Feb 07
thank you
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 07
I believe you have tried all you can. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. (Same for a cat!) Grandmother needs her and coddles her. She will move out on her own when she is ready. She'll want her son to know that she didn't rely on other people while raising him. Don't feel guilty! Feel happy that they are safe and warm. It'll come around...
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• United States
2 Feb 07
thanks Jo
1 person likes this
@dhouston (417)
• United States
1 Feb 07
You have no reason to feel guilty. Whatever your daughter's arrangements are, they are between her and her grandmother. Maybe it's the grandmother who is lonely and glad to have her! YOu know you have done your best. Rest in that and be glad she is a good person.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Feb 07
thank you
1 person likes this