I AM AT A CROSSROADS..have to come to a decision..
By yanjiaren
@yanjiaren (9031)
February 1, 2007 10:18am CST
Dear friends and mylotters..
i have come to a difficult decision..
i have made quite a few friends on mylot..some i requested and some have requested me..now ads i ssee it being on the friendship lists means more responsibily..
i know that not every one has as much time as me to spend on mylot..but i feel that it is time for me to be honest here..
friendships are meant to be a bit reciprocal..not only one sided do you agree?
i would expect to have a friend on the list would mean that we reply to at least one post a week on our friend's alerts..i reply to friend;s posts everyday..at the moment i can do that..but i have some friends that i always reply to their posts and they have not once replied to mine..so what i have decided to do..if i am that boring to them i want to delete them from my friendhsip list to give way to others that are requesting my friendship..i will still postreplies to their posts if i have time after posting posts on my friend's posts..but they will go down a notch on my list of priorities..do you think what i propose to do is i.k?
in the past i have had so many relationships that were one sided that i feel my time is too valuable to keep engaging in fruitless relationships..what do you think?
ofcours there are times in life when you give unconditionally without expecting in retur..but when i see peoplke posting lots of discussions i am sure they have a bit of time..even once a week to reply to their friend's discussions don't you agree?
i believe in mutual cooperation..even if one party cannot give as much as the other..but at least a minimum input..is worth a lot .
24 people like this
47 responses
@Bizziebod (3497)
•
1 Feb 07
Hi yanjiaren, I was only thinking similar this morning, I do try and answer my friends questions at least once a day, but there is a couple of friends on my list whom I doubt have even looked at my questions! To be honest with you I only choose people to my friends who can write a decent discussion so I like to respond to their questions anyway, and the majority of the time thats where I look if I want a decent discussion. I think it should be mutual! You can usually tell if your friend has made it online in the last few days by looking on their responses!
5 people like this
@few00cent (2183)
• India
2 Feb 07
yeah hopefoo...thats what..i wonder why don't they think that other person is expecting same from you.fool me to keep posting in there discussion...lolz
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
1 Feb 07
good girl..you said it very well...we can all help each other here..
1 person likes this
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
1 Feb 07
hi there, yes i defo agree on what your saying, i have friend requests most times off people who i haven't responded to and nor have they responded to me, i don't know how that works out. with the other friends on my list, i try to at least respond to around 2 of their discussions per day but alot of the time i can be busy doing something else, something is better than not responding at all! now it's up to you if you want to delete them and i can undertsand what you mean!
4 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
1 Feb 07
thankyou so much for that..i didn't want to sound selfish..but i hate unfairness..
3 people like this
@aquarian9 (548)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
Yeah, I think this site has used 'friend' as a generic term for fellow social networker. The better title might have been 'Mylotters' instead. Seems people just add or requeset. I admit at first I too was approving every bloody request. Now, I am more choosy. I think it is ok to delete mylotters that request and then you never see them again. Being an Aquarius Aquarian, everyone gets a chance to be good. They are the only one to make it a good chance. So, hope that helps, if someone tries maybe they get a little more time to 'pull thru' so tho speak. Happy posting. ((+)).
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
1 Feb 07
thankyou..tried to post a reply to your last post..but i can't for some reason..
2 people like this
@Alphasee (389)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I think it's fine to have friends that don't really respond. You can't expect everyone to respond, it's a free world!
I agree though, people should at least give a few responses back every once in awhile. But it's all good.
@few00cent (2183)
• India
2 Feb 07
keeping just a user name in friend list mean friendship owhat ?
2 people like this
@im_theboss (384)
• India
1 Feb 07
make friendship with me. im confident u'll not have any complain to make. i agree with u completely that friendship is two-sided. having a friend is like having a responsibility.everybody should take care of this beautiful relationship.
3 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
1 Feb 07
o.k boss lol..i like the get up and go in you man!!!
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
I try to respond to my friends posts but some of their posts are hard to respond to, or I just don`t have an opionion on the topic . I am not being MEAN I just have nothing to say about it , their next topic might be interesting though. So I keep them in my list anyways.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
2 Feb 07
well, we can't all the time respond to all our friends' discussions. we only respond to their discussions which interest us. and i hope our friends understand that.
@vekyengineer (1079)
• India
1 Feb 07
I have also got so many friends in Mylot of different countries. This is so great without moving to anyother country we have the good opportunity to get friends from other countries. So let us Cheer.
@nishanity (1650)
• India
1 Feb 07
hmmmm.... this is what u get if you add strangers on the net... well i dont add people whom i dont already know on the net!!! like my referrals are all my pals and so i know them personally and i know that they would reply to my posts... but those who are strangers and come with friend requets, then most of the time, i dont accept their requests! coz i dont know them personally and i dont make pals so that they can help me make money online!!
2 people like this
@few00cent (2183)
• India
3 Feb 07
its just our perspective...i have few people who always help me..vice versa..nothing of that sort that we can't get some good people.
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I can understand completly what you are saying here as with all of my friends I only have a small handfull that really respond to may discussions. I know that I usually go throuhg my friends discussions once a week and make sure that I have responded to at least one and it is usually more. I would expect that they could do the same for me. I have not delelted any as of yet but it is coming time to do it.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
1 Feb 07
i hope i wasn't small minded in posting this thread...
1 person likes this
@dragontester (570)
• Switzerland
1 Feb 07
You have made a right decision. If people do like you, they would still post replies, even if you dont post on their topics. Also, there is no point in doing things out of obligation. Do what your heart wants and not force yourself to do things.
3 people like this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Hi. I have replied to alot of your posts thus far. I think you have very valid discussions that I can relate to. I hope I am contributing to you enough. I have lots of friends to reply every day too. It all depends on how much time that I have to put into getting through the replies. They are piling in as I type this reply. Good luck and I will reply to your posts that I can relate to.
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
1 Feb 07
What if your "friend" is on vacation, or doens't have access to a computer. They have to reply to something EVERY DAY or you will delete them? You don't have any leeway for someone if they don't have as much time to spend on here as you? Or if they are away from the computer for a few days?
You can do whatever you want, but why take Mylot so personally and so seriously?
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
1 Feb 07
i do understand what you mean..good point..i have been here for a while..i am not taking it too personaly..only my time is limited too...and i want to be as fair as possible..i didn't say every day..i meant replying to one pist a week..if my friends that are regular couyld pist me a pm when they are away..that would help..i am not asking for everyone to reciprocate on equal terms..just to give a little..being on the friends list is one up fron not being..
@phon4u (2215)
• Laos
2 Feb 07
I think they should help each other reponding to one another. Start discussion and get responded. Help each other out in myLot. Get paid more and enjoy more. We don't feel lonely. We are one but we are many, we share the dream we come from, I am you are from the same globe.
1 person likes this
@weezy250m (1892)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Don't take it seriously my friend. Maybe the reason is some of your friends not appreciates your discussions so much. Or maybe they have no time. But I suggest that you don't take your MyLot friends seriously. Just have fun and hang-out. By responding to their discussions, don't expect them to reply on yours. Because if you expect too much, you'll be disappointed. So just have fun and just hang-out ok? I have friends that doesn't respond on my discussions ever. Yet, I respond to theirs. But it is no big deal for me. Maybe you should do the same way that I do.
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
2 Feb 07
thanks alot everyone for your input..ireally appreciate it..that is why i posted this thread to get feedback before making a rash decision..
i have had a really bad weekwith migraines and toothache so it is easy when you are down to take things more personally..
i have decided not do do that..i will just go on posting and rating as best i can..
take care
@balabrahmam (1071)
• India
2 Feb 07
yes some one is there in mylot doing like these because they are doing mylot as afunny game are chatting with mylot members
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
2 Feb 07
I have had to do the same too. I've made the decision to give my friends a month to respond to at least one of my discussions because I know that they won't all be interested in all of my discussions all of the time. I know that I have friends who might only post one or two interesting discussions and the rest is of no interest to me.
The friends that I would tend to delete immediately are those that only post discussions, never reply to others, and never reply to responses on their own discussions.
1 person likes this
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I'm sorry you feel that you might want to delete some friends, I know that's not an easy decision. My whole reason for constantly building my friend list is to build a large base of discussions that I can reply to, as well as a list of friends that can appreciate my discussions. I've started to make some good friends along the way, and I really appreciate them.
In my view, I could never have too many friends. I see that one poster has recommended blackballing people who don't adhere to his timeframes and self-imposed posting rules. I think that's sad.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
1 Feb 07
i do understand your point of view and after assessing i may not do this..but i will just put things in priority..thanks for pointing things out..that is why we poist these things to get advice..
1 person likes this
@doodlebug5250603 (1993)
• United States
1 Feb 07
The people i have on my friend ship list i always post to their discussions. If there is one that i have no reply on then i usually won't say anything. but i do try to post to theirs. and i do try to reply back to there's it they say anything else to me. i do understand where you are coming from. and i wonder why people ask me as a friend. they never post anything to any of my discussions at all.
2 people like this
