Is divorce the answer to unhappy marriage?

Philippines
February 3, 2007 10:04am CST
Is divorce the answer to unhappy marriage? WHY? Let your opinion be heard!!!
10 people like this
30 responses
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
it all depends on the kind of marriage situation. if it is life-threatening, i guess divorce should be filed.
2 people like this
• Philippines
17 Apr 07
Yeah! That could be acceptable. But there should be enough reasons why it's life threatening. Thank you sooooo much for your time and God Bless. ??
1 person likes this
@tomatoe39 (298)
• United States
14 Apr 07
I would say no..try try try..go to marriage couseling do whatever it takes to make it work..if he was worth marrying then they are worth keeping. do what ya gotta do folks
2 people like this
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
Yeah! Exactly. If he/she was worth marrying then he/she was worth keeping.. ;) Thank you sooooooo much for the time and God Bless! ??
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 07
If only it were that simple. Most times there are just so many other things to consider...happiness seems to fall at the very bottom of the priority list.
2 people like this
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
Yeah! I think that's also the reason why we really have to think hard before we decide to get married. :) Getting married should not be as easy as getting divorced as well. Thank you soooo much for the time. God Bless! ??
1 person likes this
@tomatoe39 (298)
• United States
14 Mar 07
No..I say try, try, try. If u loved each other enough to get married and especially have children then u need to make every effort to make it work...
• Philippines
15 Mar 07
Yup! That's right. I think enough will not be enough for that.. ehhee Thank you for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. Thanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
@Bunny2 (2102)
• Australia
14 Mar 07
Divorce should be the last resort after a long string of possibilities. It definitely depends on the reason the marriage is unhappy. Can both parties work to make the marriage happier? Is it due to personal reasons, money problems, interference from outside. Many things can be addressed and if both people are willing to work at it, many marriages could be saved. When they enter into a marriage, people should be made to realize that it might not be a bed of rose petals - that you have to take the thorns with the petals. There mightbe good times and bad - but what is important is that the love you married for is allowed to nurture and grow.
2 people like this
• Philippines
14 Mar 07
Yup! Exactly. Building a good family for years isn't easy just to give up in a day. Don't give up all your hardwork during courtships, dates, etc. Somehow there's something in you why you get married. Thank you for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. Thanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
12 Mar 07
Marriage is a huge commitment and everything possible should be done to save it. If however there is no way to make things work and every option has been tried then yes divorce can be the answer. Some people stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children but this can show their children a bad example of marriage and does more damage in the long term. The most important thing if there are children involved is to put them first and not subject them to acrimony and bitterness between their parents! x
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Yup! That's what most probably happen after divorce. Sometimes it's only the welfare of the parents, they are after. NOt thinking of what can possibly happen to the children. It's most likely to be discuss to both sides. Thank you sooooooooo much for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. THanks a lot! ??
2 people like this
@im_anna (718)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
when it came to a point that the couple can't resolve their problems by themselves, they have to seek out help from counselors, psychologists. there are lots of NGO's who respond to help from married couples in need
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Yeah! But still they come to a point where they have to divorce. I just don't get it why. Anyways, thank you sooooooo much for your time. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. Thanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
12 Mar 07
no, when its to a point of no repare then yes. but one should always find out why they are unhappy and try to work things out. a hasty discisson and be a harmful and regretable one for you in the future
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Yeah! Definitely right. But sometimes it's easy to say than done. Because I have observed mostly, months after marriage they get a divorce. Even celebrities do that. It's rampant on TV and media. I think they are the only ones who know the reason. Thanks for your time. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. Thanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
@pizzoli (3368)
• Italy
3 Feb 07
i think is the last solution to your problems, you have to discuss a lot with your wife before to do it
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Yup! That's right. Having in love once, can happen also twice. Feel the love they used to before. Thank you sooooooo much for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. THanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
@RAMONES (537)
• Belgium
12 Mar 07
NO!! If you decide to marry, you should not even think about divorcing. Divorce is the same as admitting you have failed : 1st in your choice to marry and 2nd in not succeeding to stay married and 3th in not beeing capable of completing you have started. I just hope there are no kids, or there is a 4th : making other people unhappy, whilst they are innocent ...
1 person likes this
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
12 Mar 07
Sorry, don't take this the wrong way, but man what a simplistic view of the world you must have. I am guessing you are not married. I am not divorced yet, but I am separated, and there is a child involved. You know what sometimes it is better to walk away. Let me address your so called failures. 1: failing in your choice at marriege: Well yes, but can someone be blamed because they didn't know what a person would be like years down the road. 2: No succeeding to stay married: ummm ok, obvious one there, but it is a two way street and sometimes the other side of the street is abandoned. 3: Not beeing capable of completing what you have started: Ok so what you are suggesting is that you should stay married no matter what right? Well what if the other person in the relationship just isn't there. Take my situation I had a wife who went out every night until I enforced a once a week "date night" (which she ditched me on on several occasions), I found her cheating on me, and I endured all sorts of verbal abuse from her. 4: Ok who says anyone is innocent in a divorce? Did I deserve what my wife did to me, no, did she deserve everything I did and said since I found some of the stuff out, probably not. No one is blameless, but nor do I think that someone who gets divorced is a failure either.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
Yeah! Sometimes, there's a need to be divorced. That's why, getting married is not as easy as 1-2-3. You have to think it really hard and expect it's possible circumstances. I doubt how you started your relationship, if it has a spark or not. Perhaps you think of what happened why she was doing that. Try to talk it over, for the sake of your kid/s. Thank you for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. THanks a lot! ??
2 people like this
18 Apr 07
Circumstance does matter. My parents seperated when I was 12. It worked out for the best for all of us, my brothers included. Whwen I was 5 I wouldn't have said that, life was perfect. And now that me and my brothers are mature and left or are leaving home they would probably be a good couple again. Things are always changing. Sometimes people need to break up, in some cases it makes people realise how much they really do love each other. A two parent family isn't alweays best for the kid if the parents can't get along.
1 person likes this
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
12 Mar 07
Well it all depends on the circumstances. I think divorce should be the LAST option, after everything else has been tried. I am separated from my wife, and I tried my hardest to make things work first, but it was a one sided attempt, and she continually pushed me further away. Eventually I gave her what she wanted and told her to leave. I fell bad because it will make things difficult for out daughter, but it is better then staying together and constantly fighting.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
If you think she was happy after what happened then I can say that what you did was the best for both of you. But if what happened just created more problems then I will say that you court her back.. ehehehe You made it once so I will not be surprised if you make her fall again. Just do what you think is right. Thank you sooooo much for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. Thanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
12 Mar 07
I wouldn't say she is happier exactly, but that is no longer my concern, my concern is the happiness and wellbeing of my daughter and myself. I care for her and worry about her future, but I can no longer worry about her happiness. She already has a new boyfriend and she isn't even out of the house, in fact I have very good reasons to believe her and her new boyfriend were together long before our separation, and even if they weren't she was cheating on me with others. I have no intention whatsoever of courting her back.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
Oh! I see. I can't decide for you since you know her more than me. But I hope you're happy as well after what happened. Just keep going and enjoy life. Thank you for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. Thanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
I think divorce is the only answer if there is abuse, physical or mental.But if the couple is unhappy but they want it to work, they shouldn't get a divorce.They should try thearpy.And if that doesn't work, then get a divorce.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
There should have reason why they aren't happy. Perhaps they should figure out the problem then look for solution other than divorce. If you have both fall in love once, then you can fall in love again. There's no doubt about it. Just don't give up. Show to him/her that you need her. That you can't live without him/her. I don't think divorce still possible. You can't give up a relationship in just a day that you build for years. Thank you for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts asw ell. Thanks a lot! ??
2 people like this
• United States
14 Mar 07
I agree.True love just doesn't go away. Hopfully the couple can regain what they had.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
If there is violence or unfaithfulness I think that it's ok. My father was a pastor for many years and always has beaten my mother and brother. This past year my mom had enough after a broken rib, concussion, and much more. She filed for a divorce. She said she stayed with him for us kids. But what hurt us the most was her staying with him all those years! I totally agree with a divorce under that circumstance.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
Yup! I think that's tooooooo much. Maybe divorce was really needed for that case. But you should have also know why your father is doing that. It's usually the kids that will touch a father's heart. Always remember that. Thank you for giving some time to my post. I hope you'll have time to read my other posts as well. THanks a lot! ??
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 07
This is to bad. She taught her children to accept abuse and or to become abusers. She should have stopped it as it started and then if it didnt stop gotten out. I am not blaming the victum though. Our society needs to provide a safe outlet for abuse victums. I also think this is much more than just unhappy.
• United States
20 Apr 07
Divorce is not always the answer. It turned out to be the answer for me, but I did try for many years, proof of this is, I was married to my first husband for 24 years before I finally gave up. I think people should try every avenue before making that decision.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
It's a good thing for what happened to you I guess.. ;) Thank you soooooo much for giving some time to my post. Thanks a lot! ??
@ashjoe76 (1434)
• India
18 Apr 07
Perhaps divorce is just one of the answers. there may be many marriages that survive bouts of unhappiness. But once it reaches a level where there is no mutual love, respect or concern, or all of these, and one finds that it is damaging to him/her personally, it is better to save oneself than trying to save social construct. Some people fare well when they are separated, so that is one positive side to divorces...hmmmm
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
Yeah! You have some point there. But I think not all the people getting divorced have that some kind of a reason.. :D It's personal I guess. Anyways, thank you soooo much for your time and GOd Bless.. ??
• United States
18 Apr 07
I think people give up to easy. Life comes with good and bad times, but some how we have decided it is easier to turn tail and run. There are ways to work on marriages, but for the mst part it requires people to give up being selfish, which I guess is a lot to ask. It is caled working it out because it is work. And in the end a stronger marriage remains.
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
Yeah! That's right. It is easier to turn away from the responsibilities than face them. That's probably one of the reasons why most people going for divorce. Thank you soooo much for your time and God Bless.. ??
• United States
18 Apr 07
Divorce is not the answer to unhappiness. You will just go on being unhappy. It is better to find the source of your unhappiness figure out how to cure it then be good in your life. I find that unhappy people tend to stay unhappy. Divorce for abuse or adultery. We must love ourselves before we are open to loving others.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
Yup! Exactly what I mean. The problem will never be solved until you fixed them. Getting divorce will I think create another problem. Thank you soooo much for your time and God Bless.. ??
• China
14 Apr 07
Continuted... Chinese parents always consider their children's welfare before making the decision of divorce, being afraid that children will be hurt by that. But in my opinion, we children also want our parents to be happy. Sometimes, divorce is a good way to all of us in the family. Or else, the more time the parents being together scolding each other, the more damage will be to the children. Anyway, think about it before you do anything and don't regret.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
Yeah! That's mostly what's happening. They tend to forget the responsibility and just look for happiness. Thank you for pointing that out. Thank you sooooo much for the time and God Bless! ??
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
18 Mar 07
The answer to an unhappy marriage is love, not divorce. Show kindness, love and consideration to your mate and go worship God together at church. Love can cover a mustitude of wrongs in life.
• Philippines
19 Mar 07
Yeah! Absolutely right. Love is the only key that will take your troubles away. Thanks a lot! ??
@angelface23 (2498)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Thats a tough one. I mean its harder if there are kids involved. I think you should try to get outside help but if it's just not working then you shouldn't stay together. I belive in working it out but in some instances you just can't. me and my husband have a few fights that get to the point where he says he's going to leave and while I don't want him to leave I am prepared to be on my own.
• Philippines
18 Mar 07
Yeah! It's really tough but sometimes people just do it as easy as possible. Not thinking that there are other people involved. I'm sure it's pretty tough for both of you two. I hope you'll get along well. Thank you sooooooooooooo much for giving some time to my post. Thanks a lot! ??