The Truth About Children - Jokes

@ossie16d (11834)
Australia
October 10, 2006 10:21pm CST
The Truth About Kids You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing. There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it.- Chinese Proverb. Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young. Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
5 people like this
14 responses
@rosebug23 (1909)
• Australia
19 Nov 06
I really like this and it is so true if we are honest ,i sat and read and laughed and had to share with my family all thought it was funny except my grandson.we need a good laugh every day as it is the best medicine as they say . Thank you for my daily dose of laughter it is much appreciated
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
19 Nov 06
I am glad that you enjoyed it rosebug. I thought it was funny when I first saw it too and decided to share it with others. A very special friend of mine says about her children and grandchildren "lovely to see them come but after a few days it is even lovelier to see them go."
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15347)
• United States
2 Jan 07
These are all so true but ther is one missing. Your grand children are your way of getting even with your kids.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
2 Jan 07
And I can hardly wait till we have grandchildren, but suspect that we will be waiting for a few more years yet. DRAT Thanks for reading and responding deebomb. :)
1 person likes this
@firelight (1859)
• Australia
16 Nov 06
lol that is so true!
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Nov 06
I am pleased that you enjoyed it and thanks for your contribution. :)
1 person likes this
@carmat (2850)
• Canada
16 Nov 06
Cute. It's always nice to have something different to read! Thanks again.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Nov 06
I am pleased that you like it carmat. Thanks for your contribution to the discussion. :) PS my comments are once again disappearing. GRRRR
1 person likes this
@oldboy46 (2133)
• Australia
17 Feb 07
My partner is sitting here having a good old laugh to herself .... thinks this is brilliant .... particularly about the first 2 years and then the next 16 years. and we both like the one about grandchildren being God's reward ..... my oldest daughter has been very difficult but now she has a wonderful son ..... only hope she finds a good man one day soon ..... neither of the poor child's parents are much good for anything ..... so there is plenty of room for improvement. Yes we child proofed our home too .... but they still keep coming here for holidays .... at our expense of course .. then want petrol money for coming and going back home.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Feb 07
I am pleased that you and your partner likes these, and also that you see humour in the one about grandchildren. Do take care of your grandson and give him plenty of love, which is something no child ever has enough of. Thanks for reading and responding. :)
@oldboy46 (2133)
• Australia
13 Apr 07
Thanks for best response here ossie .... and they are still coming back (the kids I mean).
@1grnthmb (2063)
• United States
19 Nov 06
I have a saying that "You have children so you can torture them." After all who doesn't tease their daughter when they have a crush on Billy Gilman or who ever is the hottie for them at the time.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
20 Nov 06
LOL Thanks for sharing this one with us, and yes it is entirely appropriate. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Nov 06
lol aint that the truth
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Nov 06
I am pleased that you enjoyed it. Thanks for your response to the discussion. :)
1 person likes this
@pinklilly (3446)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
hahahahaha... That was great and very cute So true as well... Thanks for putting a smile on my face.....
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
Yes children do say the funniest things so often pinklilly and their words are worth repeating. Thanks very much for reading and responding to this. :)
@ukchriss (2106)
18 Feb 07
he Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia." The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Feb 07
This joke is good and gives a laugh, but what does it have to do with children.
@mtdewgurl74 (18122)
• United States
17 Feb 07
These are so cute and funny I loved them alot and everyone else got a laugh at them as well even tough most of them seem 100% on the money.
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
17 Feb 07
Yes they are pretty well spot on what really happens in real life. Thanks for reading and responding. :)
@soneparm (634)
• India
2 Jan 07
childrens are nice and look so sweet
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
2 Jan 07
Yes they can be this.
• United States
2 Jan 07
LOL! Love this but I really hope the grandchildren part doesn't come around for another 20 yrs! I need a break!
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
2 Jan 07
Okay about the grandchildren but make sure that your children know you want a little bit of a break first. LOL For us, we are ready for grandchildren but do not see them in the near future although we do live in hope of course. Thanks for reading and responding. :)
1 person likes this
@yogitha (1893)
• India
18 Nov 06
I DONT NO
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
19 Nov 06
Thank you.
@aleddon (141)
• United States
18 Nov 06
SOOOOOOO true!
@ossie16d (11834)
• Australia
18 Nov 06
I am glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for responding. :)