For other mothers (What can I do?)

United States
February 9, 2007 3:33pm CST
Okay I'm a new mother. Well not that new now, my daughter is 5 months now, but she is my only kid so I'm still new to the parenting thing. Anyways my husband works all time and is hardly home so it's just me and my daughter. Sometimes she gets fussy where nothing seems to make her calm down, I'm sure you other mothers know what i'm talking about, but here lately i keep catching myself getting really frustrated when i can't get her to calm down! Any suggestions of what I might do to help my situation???
20 people like this
54 responses
@jmcafam (2891)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I know it can be hard to deal with at times but hang in there. I have a seven month old that is so much fussy then her sisters were. Is she teething by any chance? They can get really fussy when teething. I just put baby orajel on the gums.
7 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
I'm not exactly for sure if she's teething or not. at first I thought she was but now I don't know. How exactly can I tell?
6 people like this
@Kate06 (123)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I know when my son's gums were bothering him he would bite down on one of my fingers, hard, and not let go. I'd have to pry it loose.
6 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
She trys to chew on everything and she's always rubbing her gums together. Could that be a sign of teething?
5 people like this
@leese29 (341)
• United States
9 Feb 07
First I want to say if you ever feel you are getting really frustrated put your baby in her bassinet or crib and just walk away go sit and calm yourself somewhere. Nothing will happen to her crying alot. If you have fed her, changed her done all that you possibly can then she will be fine crying. Then when you have let your frustration go go back and walk her, drive her in the car, I have heard putting a baby in their car seat and sitting it on top of the dryer conmforts them, running a vaccum (I used this one a lot) The main thing is try not to let yourself get too frustrated they sense this also.
• United States
9 Feb 07
I haven't tried the vaccum thing, maybe I should!
4 people like this
@Kate06 (123)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Try talking to your baby about your frustrations in a sing song voice or sing them to her. Keep your voice happy but talk about what is on your mind. She will find the sound of your voice comforting and you may find that expressing your thoughts out loud may help ease your frustration level.
6 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
I'll try that, thanks
4 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
9 Feb 07
All of the other responses had wonderful advice. They included just about everything I was going to say. The only thing I want to add is that sometimes you just have sit and cry with her. Dealing with a baby alone isn't easy. I know, I've been there. Hang in there and use the advice frome these responses. You'll make it though.
5 people like this
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank you!
4 people like this
@Danniet (377)
• United States
9 Feb 07
It's normal for you to get frustrated and it is hard when sometimes you feel like it's all on you. I don't really know what would stop her from fussing, a lot of the time it's just trial and error. My friend had a certain song she played for her son when he'd get fussy. My DD liked to be in her carseat when she was being fussy. Just try some things, you'd be surprised what they like. I can say if you feel yourself getting frustrated just put her in her crib or somewhere safe and walk out of the room or outside for a minute. Just to catch your breath and regroup. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself. She's going to be fine until you get back as long as your not gone for a long time, lol! It doesn't hurt them to cry and sometimes they just want to cry and you have to let them. I hope this helps, it will get better mom!
• United States
9 Feb 07
Thank you!
4 people like this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
9 Feb 07
give her some tylenol for the teething pain! It will really help her "attitude"...my kids drive me crazy then I remember that they are getting teeth so I give then some tylenol and it really helps them not be so fussy!! When my daughter was especially bad I would have to put her in her crib (while she was crying) and I would go sit outside on the front porch, just to get away from the screaming. It helped me to calm down a bit, then I could go pick her up and love on her some more =)
3 people like this
@rlangley (56)
• United States
9 Feb 07
I would say that she is more than likely teething, she hurts and the only way that she can tell you is to fuss. Try baby oralgel or even a cold wash cloth to chew on, also baby motren and tylenal will help you can rotate the two. I wish you all the luck in the world I do not miss the days when my son was teething.;)
• Canada
9 Feb 07
i totaly feel your pain. im the mother of a 2 year old and am pregnant with our second. its possible that your little angel is teething. you can try giving her gripe water. that always worked well for my son. that is GREAT for upset tummys too. for teething i really recommend hyland teething tablets. they are all natural and work really well. you might also want to take her to the doctor just to make sure she doesnt have an ear infection. my son was super cranky and i couldnt for the life figure out why. it tunred out he had an ear infection. it never hurts to see the doctor even if it is for peace of mind. good luck hunny i know it isnt easy. it will get better though (((hugs)))
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
Do you believe that your child is having the teething syndrome? Teething is really something which makes the baby suffer from so much discomfort. I have read from a contribution of one of mylot users who recommends the use of clove oil diluted/mixed with olive oil to relieve the baby from the discomfort. Just simply rub the mixture on your baby's gums and that's it. Repeat this from time to time.
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
Sorry for the miss, but I believe you are constantly seeing your doctor when something happens which puzzles you regarding the baby.
• Canada
10 Feb 07
It could possibly be teething and you could try a cold washcloth, a regular teething ring that you keep in the fridge or even a eggo waffle! I tried this with my daughter and she loved it. It is cold & turns into mush, so there is no worry about choking. Also, if you find that you have tried everything for your baby and they are still fussing and you are getting frustrated, put them safely in their crib or their playpen and leave then for just a few minutes (I would say no more than 5 or so at 5months). Most of the time they will calm down themselves & even if they don't you have a few minutes to have a sip of coffee or just to breathe, so you are ready to go back and deal without being edgy.
• United States
10 Feb 07
I might try the waffle thing, thanks.
@babykay (2133)
• Ireland
10 Feb 07
I find that if you bring your baby out for a walk, be it in a push chair or a harness, just the action of walking works on calming them. Rhythm seems to sooth babies. I have a 7 month old and I find that the worse thing you can do is stay at home all day with them, if you do this it is you that has to amuse them all day. Go visit people, even go out shopping where there are lots of people. At 5 months your daughter is at the age where she is starting to get really interested in other people and sights so if you bring her out and about she can feast her eyes on all this visual stimulation. I am starting to try and get my son into a routine, it helps if you do the same things at the same time every day - eg sleep, mealtimes etc. Hope it works out - it will! Remember that babies are always going through different phases so once one thing stops another starts!
• United States
10 Feb 07
you know that may be my problem, the fact that I pretty much stay home all day and don't go out much, especially since it's been cold. Maybe I should try going out more!
• Denmark
9 Feb 07
Hang in there! I think many of us (meaning mums) have been through this, and it is great that you ask for help, it is already for you a step to get a little more zen regarding the situation. I don't know if you read all the answers, but one of the suggestions that I read here and that I also got regarding my baby when going through the same thing, really makes me upset. The person tells you to put your child in a dark bed room and just wait that she stops crying... I mean you could wait there for hours ! It is a 5 months old baby, not a 1 year old. She needs to be with what she knows, which is being close to her mummy ! Anyway, please donĀ“t do that, keep it for later, when your baby will have passed the current issues and ready to be in her own room. Anyway, if your husband isn t home that much, do you have any family or friends that you trust and can help you too? I know it is not easy to leave your baby to someone else, you do not even have to go somewhere actually, may be just the time for you to take a very relaxing bath, just some time for you to take care of yourself! My son was also crying like a maniac if I may say so, he had phases, I got frustrated just like you, and the more frustrated I was, the more crazy he got ;) so just try to take it easy and get as much help as you can from the people around you. Good luck!
• United States
9 Feb 07
I do the same thing, the more frustrated i get the more upset she gets!
• United States
11 Feb 07
It's really important to remember that your baby's bond with you is an emotional bond, so when you are frustrated because she's crying, that frustration is what she feels, and she will get frustrated too, making her cry more. One thing that may feel hard at first is to put her down and walk away. As long as she's not thrashing around in a frenzy, letting her cry for a minute while you collect yourself and cool off isn't going to hurt her. It's important that you walk away until you can relax, otherwise it will just continue to be a frustration to you both. It's hard when you're the only one home to take care of her too, but if you make sure that during all nap times you are completely relaxed, it should help cut back on the frustration during waking times when she's fussy.
@deedles88 (297)
• Australia
11 Feb 07
I know how you feel! My daughter is 11 months and it feels like she is going into the Terrible Twos already :P Its her teeth that are mainly bothering her though.. Is your bub teething yet? They start at all different ages. A little trick I use is when Im getting fustrated, I put her in her pram and take her out into the back yard. We have 2 dogs, and she loves them to bits so it helps take her mind off her teeth and its good for her to interact with them.
@dbcraff (162)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I think we all get frustrated from time to time. The best advice I can give would be to put her down and go in another room. It won't hurt her to cry. And I know this is going to sound really strange but, my son was colicy when he was a bayb so I use to run the vacuam. I don't know why but it worked he would stop crying immediately and fall asleep. So maybe try some vacuaming next time.
@AnnaB87 (761)
• United States
10 Feb 07
I love babies this age. All of mine are way past this age. My youngest is almost 8 and my oldest will be 18 this week. (I have five children by the way) Anyway, if you find that your baby daughter is really getting on your nerves make sure she is clean and dry then put her in her crib. (make sure there is nothing she can get hurt on, no extra blankets or anything) then let her stay in the crib while you go in the other room for a few minutes. A baby can sense when you are tense and your tension will make her more fussy, so gently put her in her crib then go into another part of the house. Wash your face, have a cup of tea, or call a friend on the phone for a few minutes. Whatever you can do to either calm down or help relieve some frustration. Then after you are sure that you are not too tense you can try calming your baby down again, if she is hungry feed her, needing a diaper change change her, bored talk to her. (babies like to be talked to, but talk softly, not loud if you are loud you will scare the baby, just talk extra soft) you can put the baby on your shoulder, (her head rests on your shoulder) then gently pat her on the back. You can try singing to her. Or rocking her.Or put a nursery tape on. This is actually a very good age, you can pick her up a lot easier at this age, and babies this age are cuddly and make the cutest faces. I know you can get really frustrated, but this time is very short and will soon be gone, and when she is 18 you will be wishing she were tiny again, so you can hold her one more time. Enjoy every minute with your baby even the frustrating ones because before you know it she will be grown trust me I know. It seems just yesterday that my oldest was born, and he will be eighteen this week, and I still can't believe it. The years do go by fast, it feels like I jsut blinked and now he is basically grown. It is hard to remember he was ever so small. Also some babies just need to cry more, I don't know why, but they do, I suppose it is the differance in people. My sister had two that cried more than mine did, but her oldest daughter has grown up to be a very likable young lady, her son is still working on it, (he is three) her daughter is almost 15. Congradualtions on your new baby, a five month old baby is still quite new, and needs a lot of love. If you find you are getting to be overwhelmed try to find a good babysitter that can help sometimes. I would suggest a grandparent or aunt. Just someone you really trust, even an hour away can help you to refocus and help you to feel better. HTHS AnnaB87
@the_vicar (1478)
• United States
10 Feb 07
First of all she is a beautiful baby! Right now, she is learning about her world and the people in it. Everything is new to her and she needs you to be there for her. Take her on long strolls and out for a little while. Talk toher and she will learn language far quicker. Build with blocks with her and read to her. there are so many things you can do with her. Be patient. This is the only time in her life she can be stress free. Let her be a baby and a little girl because in a few years the stress of school, then work, then family will take its toll on her. Value the time you have right now....it won't last forever. Once this age is gone, it is gone and it never returns. It is one of the cutest stages she will go through. Think about how she feels. Is she uncomfortable? Does she have diaper rash? Is she teething? Is she hungry? Hot? Cold? Does her tummy hurt? IS she bored? Love her.....you cannot love her too much....tell her everyday how much you love her.....and remember....all stages do pass but the next one may be more difficult than the one she is in, so appreciate her for who she is today!
@cicerone (95)
• India
10 Feb 07
I find this problem with your baby the most common among many babies in many houses. This the what we people feel when thing dont go in our way,but young lady pls keep cool,hold on after all she is your baby,do u think so.........
@Shelite (212)
• Canada
10 Feb 07
Hi there. I'm a mother of 3. I am a full time worker but I think that every mother and father may go through just what you are experiencing. Hugs to you. If it gets too much for you to handle just remember to take a little time out for you. Put the baby somewhere safe, in her crib or bouncy seat and walk away...even if it's just for one minuite. This can totally help you deal with the stress. Find something with a loud noise...i've always found that my kids loved loud anything. Funny huh. Even if you have to turn the radio right up loud and dance with her. Good luck! You can also go to www.iparenting.com and go on the message boards there. I go there all the time to my baby's born board. It's fun and you can chat about all the things that are hard to deal with with other mommies that have babies the same age as your dd.
@ILANEDRI (1922)
• Israel
10 Feb 07
This is a problem, but you can solve it quickly. Did you have though about a babysitter? She can help you to calm down your baby, and you will have time to do other things that you need.