February 10, 2007 5:16am CST
A man usually extremely critical, one day made a point of addressing his wife "an angel." She was pleased, but puzzled, over it all day and in the evening inquired as to the unexpected honor. "Well," retorted the husband. "for one thing , you are laways flitting about for another, you are forever harping on things; finally you keep insisting that you never have a thing to wear."
• United States
10 Feb 07
Not too funny are they? I enjoy jokes. These are very funny! I wish I could remember jokes but I can't. So, I don't have any jokes to tell, but I sure did enjoy the ones you posted even if they aren't all that funny, still they were worth reading.
• United States
10 Feb 07
We Must Stop This Immediately! Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become! And, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader? I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection.........Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be! Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling? I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here! All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities. One good thing, though: I'm getting stronger. Now I can carry $50 worth of groceries in one hand. Used to have make several trips to get them from the car to the kitchen! PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED! PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size , because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were too!