Guess what gay people don't wear signs!
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
United States
February 15, 2007 7:19pm CST
If you don't already know I am a lesbian.*momentary break for the gasps*
If you met me on the street you probably wouldn't know I was gay, if you engaged me in a conversation you still probably wouldn't know I was gay. But just because I do wear my sexuality on a sign hanging from my neck does not give anyone the right to assume that it is acceptable to make crude remarks to me about homosexuals.
Today I was involved in a conversation with a small group of people that I occasionally have dealing with through my job.I would say they are acquaints but not what I would consider a friend. We were about to part company when one of the guys turned to me and said you may want to wash your hands that guy you just shook hands with is a queer. I looked him square in the face and said oh really so am I. His face went pale and I'm not sure but he may of messed himself. I smiles and simply said gay people don't wear signs and left the room.
Why do people automatically make assumptions about someone based on appearance or gender?
13 people like this
21 responses
@Stringbean (1273)
• United States
16 Feb 07
If I meet someone on the street, I can't think of any earthly reason why I would want to know or even care whether they were homosexual or not. It isn't exactly a subject that should be coming up in every day conversation. I don't inform people of my sexuality and I don't expect them to inform me of theirs if they have any manners at all.
4 people like this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Your right, a person with manners would not do that nor would they make an assumption that crude remarks about another human being was acceptable. But people do it all the time.
Thank you for responding
3 people like this
@mom2chriskel (1060)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I have to agree with stringbean. My first thought is never what type of relationship someone has. And I don't base my friendships on what gender they like.
My cousin is gay. Announced it a year ago to his mom. It was so amazing to me how close minded my own aunts and uncles could be.
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
16 Feb 07
LOL Good for you! I am so glad that you are so comfortable with yourself. I am a heterosexual woman and have always thought about how I would be if I had been gay. I really don't think I would be as strong as you or my gay friends. Coming out has to be such a hard thing to do because of people like that idiot who like to generalize. I admire people like you who stand up and say "this is who I am and if you don't like it, screw you". Congrats to you!
4 people like this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I try to do my part to open the eyes of humanity...its not easy but someone has to do it...LOL (joking here people)
Thank you and thanks for responding. :)
5 people like this
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Way to go!
I wish I could stand up like that. Sometimes I do, but not all the time.
People make all sorts of comments around me. And even at work, where I'm out, they don't censor things (which is fine mostly, as I don't censor stuff either about their religions... one guy told me he did door to door religious stuff and I still told him I won't tolerate those people at my door).
But wow, I so know what you mean about the comments from people who don't know.
My own grandpa often adamantly tells us all how much he hates all homosexuals. I wish I could say "You hate me, grandpa?" But of course, I won't. He's nearly 90, I don't want to give him a heart attack.
3 people like this
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Good point. It's definitely important to pick our battles wisely, because if we took on every battle, we'd never stop fighting.
One time when I was working in retail, I thought I was going to have to stand up, and I was very shocked and impressed by one of my coworkers. I was new there, and after meeting my department, some guy from another department came over. The first he says is, "Hi! I'm a nice person, there are just two things you need to know about me, and once you know them, I get along with everyone. I don't like gay people and I don't like people who like gay people." (excludes a lot of people if you ask me!) So anyway, I'm like thinking, "We just watched a video about not discriminating!" But before I could react, my new co-worker says, "Oh yeah, well... I'm a lesbian." She wasn't, but she just felt like throwing him off. It was pretty cool. And it saved me from having to out myself (although, I quit shortly thereafter anyway, and where I work now I am out).
1 person likes this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I think we, gays, have to learn to chose our battles wisely. Sometimes the smartest thing is just to walk away. Alienating one's self just for the sake of alienation serves no purpose. I think its all about getting comfortable in our own skin and learning to really like who we are then all the other stuff doesn't cut so deep.
Oh and I so agree with you about the door to door religion peddlers, not at my door you don't.
Thank you for responding. :)
3 people like this
@misskatonic (3723)
• United States
16 Feb 07
What a wonderful response! I would have loved to have seen that. I love how people just assume that all gay people are easy to identify. As though we wander around with signs over our heads or something. Anyone could potentially be gay. But for some reason, people never seem to think that way. I've had plenty of people make comments in my presence, not realizing I'm a lesbian.
3 people like this
@Pigglies (9329)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I've had people tell me, "Oh, I didn't know you were a lesbian... I've never seen you wear flannel, and you don't have any rainbow stickers on your bag either." Hehe.
But then others, are like, "How can anyone not know?" So maybe I am pretty obvious.
2 people like this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Yeah it's a shame that people have to be bigoted towards any group or race but then to show their ignorance by spewing hate makes it even worse.
Thanks for responding.
3 people like this
@moonshadow68 (723)
• United States
16 Feb 07
The same reason they assume that all straight people will hold their belief systems. Where I used to work, a woman brought in a petition (from her church) trying to get the question of marriage on the ballot. It argued that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I guess cause I'm married to a man I was supposed to support this idea.
Instead, I told her that political material was in appropriate in the work place and she should save it for lunch or somewhere else. She got all self-righteous and said, "Well, even if it is a workplace, it's something we all agree on and don't you think it needs to be done?"
I told her no, my best friend is a lesbian and that if she wanted to get married, I think she'd be better at it than a lot of hetero couples (the woman circulating the petition was twice divorced). She got all huffy and then blamed me when the petition disappeared later in the day...
For the record, I didn't shred it, but I wish I had :)
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I agree with you moonshadow68. There are so many straight people out there who are for gay rights and gay marriage. Count me in!
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
LMAO!!!! Way to go! I don't know why anyone feels they have the right to criticize someone else's lifestyle. I'm not gay, but really I don't think the gender of a person someone is attracted to has anything to do with their personalities. I bet that guy will think twice the next time he wants to make a comment like that to someone else.
3 people like this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I hope so but people like that don't usually change their behavior. I often wonder if they behave like that because they are not comfortable in their own sexuality.
Thank you for responding. :)
2 people like this
@linda345 (2661)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
That is priceless. I don't care if a person is a gay they still can be my friend any day. At my 16 year olds birthday a few weeks ago her friend gave her a card and the inside said something about I would be simling because my hands would be all over you. Everone was laughing but in a strange way and I was dumbfounded. It took me about a half hour to catch on that he was gay. And no I have no problem with her having gay friends.
1 person likes this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
It's parents like you that teach tolerance and compassion to their children that will in time help to make the world a more loving place. Give yourself a pat on the back you deserve it. :)
Thank you for responding.
1 person likes this
@brihanna (381)
• United States
16 Feb 07
That is a good story, I think you handled it well. It will be interesting to see what he says when he sees you again.
I do not know why people behave that way. I must say, however, that my daughter who is gay-does wear the signs.
Rainbow hats, a pin that says "I am gayer than I dress" and stuff like that. I ask her why whe is so outward about it. she just says because she can be. OK. Good post-there sure are alot of ignorant people out there.
@thunderofsins (738)
• United States
16 Feb 07
AHHH!! OMG! You're gay! I responded to a message you posted earlier. I'm gonna catch teh gay! i must go shower immediately. Ohhhh you're still reading my post. I bet that means you like me huh? I'm straight! I'm straight! Stop looking at me!
lol sorry...i just had too much caffiene. :)
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
16 Feb 07
OMG!Thunderofsins tell it aint so? People can't be that dumb?
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
*laughing* thanks for the laugh and for the response...I needed a good giggle! :)
@thunderofsins (738)
• United States
16 Feb 07
And now that I've calmed down here's a real response:
That guy is horribly rude! Wash your hands because you touched "a queer"?! Wow...someone has some growing up to do.
A friend of mine (lesbian) couldn't believe how many people said things like "oh, so you're straight now" when she was pregnant. Her and her partner decided to have a child and people just assumed that she couldn't possibly still be a lesbian and be pregnant. At first she'd explain the whole sperm donation thing, but after awhile she'd just smile and say "no, Sarah just started producing sperm." People didn't always get it.
1 person likes this
@babysusie18 (231)
• Philippines
16 Feb 07
Nice one there! I admire people like you, who stands for your own rights and to those people who mocks homosexuals. I guess its just natural to some people to assume and thinks bad about homosexuals cause all they think of themselves is NORMAL, they dont even treat homosexual people as a normal person. I hate them.
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Aww don't hate, it only hurts you when you do. Thanks so much for your response. :)
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
16 Feb 07
I agree with Stringbean!! Why does it matter?? It certainly isn't affecting me who you choose to be with, so Idon't understand why people worry about it so much and talk about it.
1 person likes this
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Your right it shouldn't matter people should respect each other and show kindness not make hurtful and harmful comments about someone simply because they are different from them.
@stibigirl (291)
• United States
16 Feb 07
It is a sad occurance, but people will tend to be this ignorant. I am not gay, but I have family members that are. People who make these types of assumptions are insecure and therfore have to put it onto others to make themselves feel better. I personally find this a very sad and narrow minded way of looking at the world. Kudos to you for standing up to ignorance. :)
1 person likes this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
Gah, seriously some people need to get a hobby! I don't get why there are so many against being Gay or Lesbian. People are who they are and thats that.
What a comment for that guy to make to you also. Wash your hands?? Who does he think he is??
Straight people are no better than Gays or Lesbians and they need to wake up to that fact. Walking around with blinkers on is surely one day going to result in a nasty accident.
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
16 Feb 07
That was a great come back. I probably would have said something similar even though I'm heterosexual. It would have been worht it to see the look on his face.
I have yet to understand how some can be so ignorant and why they love to make assumptions about others. It really makes me wonder about the human race at times. I see it happen not just with homosexuality but with everything in life. They see one aspect and assume so much about a person. Please, it's not that simple. Humans are very complex beings with a myriad of facets that can never be easily spotted at one glance. There are some people I've known for years and I still don't know that much about them. It's just how it is. One must take time to get to know a person and even then judging is never a good idea. I know I try not to. I try to remember if I do go to judge that I wouldn't want someone else to judge me.
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Very good points, thank you for sharing them and for taking time to respond. :)
@linepau1 (188)
• Canada
16 Feb 07
lmao beautiful response!
I don't believe it's based on appearence or gender at all. I think it's based on personality. I know a lot of guys that seem straight, but they're gay, and I know people who appear gay, but they're straight... this goes for girls as well I'd assume (I don't know any lesbians in real life that I know of) I'm bi, but I don't believe anyone would know it unless I told them.
I wish people weren't so afraid of what they don't understand. comments like that are so uncalled for. If it had been you making a racial comment about another lady or man, I bet he'd be offended.
Again though, beautiful job showing him up. I'll remember this the next time I hear someone make a comment.
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
16 Feb 07
People automatically assume that everyone they met is exactly like them. They don't like differences or diversity. People that are different make them uncomfortable because they don't know how to deal with diversity.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Brava! Way to go. I think you handled that brillantly. I don't know why people assume anything today.You can't tell who is gay and who is not.And if you could , it shouldn't make any difference.
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
16 Feb 07
lol i could always tell you was a straight up person and im glad. more gay people should be like that. i cant stand when people have the nerve to label anyone just because they are different. we ALL are different in our own ways.. but we also breath, eat, sleep, and alot of other things the same as anyone else. people just need to get a life and clean up on their door steps before worrying about someone else. its ridiculous
@TheOriginalRed1 (512)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Well said! It goes back to that old saying, people that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Thank you for you response. :)
@beautyNsmarts (58)
• United States
24 May 08
i ask myself that same question everyday. just by looking at me really;you wouldnt think i was a lesbian,but when people find out;they're like,"whaaaaat?" i hate it sometimes but hey,everyone is different
