Would you move to another country for the one you love???

Thailand - Thailand, sunset by the beach
@Starline (681)
United States
February 20, 2007 10:49am CST
I an Swedish and I met the man who was going to be my husband when I was working in New York a summer three years ago. I had never before thought about moving from Sweden, but since we fell in love and decided to get married one of us had to move. Since he has a job and I'm just about to finish my studies we decided that I'm going to move to him. Sometimes I just get immensely sad thinking about leaving my family and friends here only to see them once or twice a year. I can't begin to express how much I will miss my parents, and sometimes I get angry that he gets the girl, his family, his friends, while I'll only have him. Would you leave everyone and everything you know for your loved one?
16 people like this
111 responses
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
20 Feb 07
I think this is a hard question to anwer before one is in this situation. I have thought about it alot sice my boyfriend comes from a place that is a 7 hour drive away (by plane it will be almost as long becaus there's no airport near by). It's not another country, but still. He moved to my place because it was real easy for him to find a job here. Would have been hard for me where he lived. Also i owned my own home - he did not. We plan on living here for a while then move to where he's from. it is hard to leave ones family and friends behind, but I imagine it's equally hard to leave the one you love. It keeps getting easier and easier to travel far. there are new ways of staying in touch, like skype and msn live messenger. I do believe it is really important to think this trough very carefully. If you do not you may come to regret your decition later, and end up resenting the one you love for making you move so far away from friends and family.
4 people like this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I wouldn't leave my husband, that's not even an issue. But it's hard to have to be the one to leave! I wish I could have everything, like him. 7 hour drive away that's really far! Living on the other side of the country can be almost as bad, it's not often that you have the time for such a long car ride!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
If it's worth it. Go for it. If it's not. Don't move. I know it's very difficult to leave you family and friends behind. I have done like that too. I leave my family for the one that I love. Now I'm married, I'm very happy with him. So if you feel like it's worth moving. Go and be with you love one.
3 people like this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
20 Feb 07
This is a tough question and I think would depend on how serious you both are and since your talking marriage, and you love him so much then I think you should consider it. What will happen if you don't? would this mean it is over for you two? have you considered a long distance relationship? thats a tough road to go but that would also depend on how strong you both are if you were to be apart. I've moved to two different countries since meeting my husband in 1998 and i don't regret it one bit. Yes, i miss my family terribly but there are ways to keep in touch with them online, texting, phones, snail mail etc. I moved from Wellington, New Zealand, to Samoa (Pacific Islands) and now to USA. At the time when i moved to Samoa, I was in a rut, 10 years in my job and was getting bored, so i took the opportunity once it presented itself and had a good six years there (at that time i was engaged to my husband). I was still able to visit the family at least once a year and constantly spoke on the phone, emailed and wrote letters to each other. My husbands job brought us here to USA and i thinks its been a great experience thus far. Its further away from home but i still use the same methods to keep in touch. If you are willing to commit yourself or give it a go to the new lifestlye and changes, getting yourself out there to meet new people, make new friends, etc, you'll do fine. If your not willing to commit to that, then you may need to reconsider your decision. Only you can make it work if you want it to work. Hope this makes sense.
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I can only hope that I find new friends and like living there. I already know that I have issues with the way the country is built, the war etc, but I hope that I will find a job that I like enough to make it worth it. I hope that my parents will be able to visit too.
1 person likes this
@nishanity (1651)
• India
20 Feb 07
for the one i love, i would do anythign!! even move to a knew country!! its unfortunate but most of the times it is the ladies who have to do this heart-wrenching task of moving from the family,,,, in india,from where i come from, once married the bride is sent to the guys house as she belongs there and is no longer a formal member of her old household... she wud always be treated as a guest when she comes to her home!!! not anymore though... it used to be like tht... now with all the technology of chat and voice chat and webcams, i dont see y u shud feel so depressed... dont worry,things will work out just fine!
2 people like this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
thank you for saying that things will work out! I do hope that i will like living there, and I think I will. I hope that I'll find new friends there. It sounds really bad that the daughter was treated as as a guest in her parents house once she was married!
@shywolf (4520)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Yes. I really only have my parents anyway, because we've never been really close to the rest of the extended family, and I don't have a lot of local friends right now. Most of my friends have long been online friendships, anyway. So it wouldn't bother me to leave. Besides, the one thing that I have ached for my entire life is to find true love. So I would do anything that i needed to, to be with the love of my life, if I had truly found him. There would be very little question about that. I would be so happy just to have that person in my life, no matter where I had to move, even though I do love where I live and have lived here all my life and am very used to this home and location.
2 people like this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
It's comforting for me to know that I have done the right thing. I agree that i'm blessed to have met my husband, but I still wish that he could move here. But that's selfish of me.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
20 Feb 07
That would be a difficult decision. Moving such a long distance is a bit different than moving a few hours away. I can understand your agony about giving up everything you have grown up with. On the other hand, if this person is your perfect soulmate, then eventually you will adjust and have a happy life no matter where you might live. I think that is important, your longterm happiness in the relationship.
2 people like this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I hope that I will adjust, but I know that I will have this sad longing feeling to, for being able to walk the streets I grew up on, see my old friends when I want to, hug my parents. He is my soulmate so it's going to be worth it. Thank you for your support.
• Canada
20 Feb 07
I am in the middle of making this decision, right now. I live in Canada, he lives in Arizona. He has a job, I don't. His daughter was in a bad car accident, and is in a hospital near where I am now (I'm in Sedona for a while). We might just go back and forth between Canada and the USA, because he knows how important my family is to me, and I know how important his is to him. Also, if something were to happen to my family to cause me to stay in Canada, he'd understand and try to get up there to be with me.
2 people like this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I'm so sorry to hear about the car accident. I hope that it's cheaper to travel between Arizona and Canada than between Sweden and NY. It feels like we'll never be able to go on regular vacation again since all the flights go between Sweden and NY. It's really not an easy situation, yet we are really lucky to have met someone to be with.
1 person likes this
@sensesfail (2251)
• India
20 Feb 07
Thats really tough.I gotta think about it alot.It depends on the situation i am in at that time.
2 people like this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
It's really not an easy decition to make, not to be able to be close to family and friends, and if something happens I have a long way to travel and an expensive flight.
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Feb 07
i would move to a different country for the one i love. i don't really care where i live as long as i can share my life with my fiance.
2 people like this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I would rather him move to me, for selfish reasons :p
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2842)
• Canada
20 Feb 07
Well that is a hard question to answer. I think you really need to think about this..it is a big move to a different country..and like you said..a huge ajustment without friends and family. If you truly love this man then I would say..give it a chance...If it doesn't work out..you can always go back to Sweden...
2 people like this
@quispy (572)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Yes, I would go. I would make it a point that I needed to get "home" more than 2 times a year. I would definitely move, unfortunately, I want to move out of New York!
2 people like this
@cheenlly (3483)
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
definitely yes i will move if i really love the guy and vice versa. its really sad to leave your family,friends but its another point of your life that it will be forever like your own and everybody will have to face that.
2 people like this
• Philippines
20 Feb 07
i think so. i'd really be leaving all for the one i love but i think that it's going to be sad though especially having to leave everyone of friends behind. but if i do really love the guy that i'm with, i'd definitely go for it, it's a nice time to spend quality time together with no other people to mess around with you. also it's the nice time to know your guy's family better. but if in the long run i really can't stand missing my family and friends, i'd telling him in my sweet ways to convince him to have a visit at our place. well that's the price he pays for getting me at his place. :)
@arkaf61 (10882)
• Canada
21 Feb 07
I did. Thousands of miles and an ocean in between. Felt like you too. He was the one staying with his family, his girl and his new friends. I had only him. My parents were left with no one. I left my job ( a very good one by the way ) and started all over - actually went backwards professionally at first. Was it worth? Yes, it was. I stayed in touch with my family and friends. My family came over to visit and I went back to visit. My friends... well the ones that were true friends also stayed in touch , we are still in touch. My professional life.. well ... soon I had the same kind of job I was doing back home, and i'm fine with it. Maybe not as well I would have been if I had stayed back home, but good enough. DO I miss my life back there? Not exactly, but I think about it almost everyday, not because I"m not happy here, just because it is a different lifestyle. My 16 year old daughter is there now for one year. And enjoying it so much she does not want to come back here. And I really can understand her, life in Europe really is quite different from here. As for me... when someone asks me if I will ever go back.. I really don't know what to say. I love it there, but don't know if I would have the patience for it now that I am older. Too much bureaucracy, having to walk in the middle of the street because all the cars are parked in the sidewalk, not too efficient healthcare... I don't know, maybe coming here made me loose my adventurous side LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 07
good for u, i love to hear something like that b/c im going to do something like that my-self.
• United States
21 Feb 07
Thanks for sharing this. I think that love knows no boundaries. I really hope that everything works out for you as you have obviously made several sacrifices for your love. I hope he appreciates what you have done for him.
• Philippines
21 Feb 07
love is sacrifice as they all say. for me, i believe that, i need to give up something in order for me to gain something. with regards to my family and friends, i know, they know how much i love them and how much they are important to me, that would never change. i know they would understand me if have to leave them for the person i truly love, if they love me, they would understand me. and also, leaving them doesnt mean i love my partner more, its just making a decision for me to welcome my new life with my partner...
@Starline (681)
• United States
21 Feb 07
I know that my parents understand but I also know that they are very sad knowing that I'm moving soon. But I know that I'm making the right decition. Thanks for your support!
• United States
21 Feb 07
I tell you what, that's what love is all about. It's all about sacrifice, giving. I will do more than moving to be with my loved one. It's an amazing thing. Your family knows you can't be with them forever, you've got to leave one day, so make up your mind nad go where your heart belongs,it's one of the most important decision of your life, so don't make the mistake of choosing wrongly, go and be joined with your husband to be. BEST OF LUCK.
@Starline (681)
• United States
21 Feb 07
thank you for your support!! I appreciate it.
• United States
20 Feb 07
I understand that you dont want to leave. But if you truly loved him then you should be happy and who knows. Maybe in a few years you two can move back to your family.
1 person likes this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
Thank you! It's my secret plan to get him to come to sweden in the future, we'll see what happens!
@redfang (969)
20 Feb 07
well i actually did move to be with someone. i lived in spain and met my other half over the internet then we met in person and about 2-3 months later i sold up and moved back to the uk to live with her.
1 person likes this
20 Feb 07
i also met my partner over the internet we have been 2gether for 3 hole years and i cannot wait to move to pakistan to be with him.
1 person likes this
@pravda1 (288)
• United States
20 Feb 07
It is difficult, my wife is from the Republic of Georgia and when we married she of course missed her home... It takes time to adjust to your new home...but I also advised my wife to visit home as often as she wanted. So, If you're in love then enjoy your lives together where ever you two live!
1 person likes this
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
It's not the same think to go back and visit home alone, what you she and I would really want is probably to be able to live our lifes in our countries. I want my parents and friends to know my husband because I'm proud of him and want them to understand why I chose to be with him. My husband said that too 'you can go home as often as you want to' but how would we afford that, how would I get to take time off from work?! I hope that the two of you together often go to her home country.
@rosie_123 (6118)
20 Feb 07
Tes, and I will be doing so myself before many more years have passed. You see, my partner moved from the other side of the world to be with me (I am in the UK, and he is from Argentina), amd has been here over 20 years now, but he always said that one day he wanted to go home, or at least to another Spanish speaking country. We will not leave the UK at the moment, because my Father is 80 years old now, and I am the only child so there is no one else to care for him, and also because we can both earn good money here, but we are already looking for property in Spain, and will move there for our retirement. If you love someone enough, you can adjust, and I wish you all the best in your move.
@Starline (681)
• United States
20 Feb 07
That sounds so nice that you will move there for your retirement! I wish that my husband and I could move to a warm country too when we are older, for example Marocko where the weather is amazing and our money would last really long. So I'm happy for you that you decided to move in the future and are both happy with the solution!