Arguing over matters or misunderstandings...and talking it over helps...

Philippines
February 23, 2007 4:34pm CST
My dad once said when we notice him an mom argue over something that...argument between spouse is natural and essential in a relationship(a part of communication)...its like spice or salt on ones food.I believed my dad for that...the stayed and loved each other together until he died..couples who argue and talk over their misunderstanding and problems stay longer with each other than those couples who doesnt do so sparingly .How ever too much of these especially so if the root of the argument is baseless and unresolved overtime..is a poison...are you in accord with my opinion?peace!
16 people like this
28 responses
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
25 Feb 07
All good relationships have disagreements. If you can talk it out or even argue it out then you have a good chance at a lasting relationship. I have been married twenty years and we have had arguements through the years and have worked them out. Some times couples argue until they get to the heart of the matter. If you don't know there is a problem you can not fix it.
• Philippines
27 Feb 07
thats the good thing bout constant communication between spouses or even friends and partners...coz the meat of the problem is unravelled and resolved...then everybody can sleep well!peace!agree to your opinion i am...
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I believe so too. I always told my husband in the past that it is not nice to argue and go to bed without resolving the issue. He used to go for days giving me the silent treatment. I told him that one of these days, he may wish he ahd said something to me or at least talked the situation out. You never know when the lord will call one if us home. We discuss alot of things now and he won't go without talking to me any more. He knows our time is precious and we need to be together and talk whenever we have the capabilities to do so. I lost my dad when I was 12 years old, unexpectedly, and I know just how valuable time is.
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
agree with your opinion i must...for me and my fiancee we both agreed that we should not let problems misunderstanding and argumenta unsolved within a day...its nice to sleep beside each other when you know that everythings well with both of you!peace!thanks for sharing your opinion friend!happy posting and more blessings!
@Fengshui (72)
• Singapore
24 Feb 07
In my opinion, husband and wife bound to have quarrels and misunderstanding. Even among friends. However, things sometimes get nasty because of a person ego and emotions. Hence, I feel that in order to maintain a harmonious relationship, we must learn how to control our ego and emotions.
1 person likes this
@sunny1984 (640)
• India
24 Feb 07
I am agree with u ,and i know that the arguments on some point between the couple has to be there. But one more thing i would like to tell you that any thing could be harm full if it is more than the limit, so do it but under limit.
1 person likes this
@ygkchaitu (388)
• India
24 Feb 07
Yeah i have seen so many couples raising voices against each other and eventually cooling down and talking softly after all they have stay together in the same house. So i feel some topics are solved only when both raise their voices against each other.
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
24 Feb 07
I agree with you 100% that communication is in fact the essential key to all relationships. Now this does not mean that the two peopel in the relationship have to agree on everything but they should have good enough communication skills to get through their problems and everyday issues!!
• Australia
24 Feb 07
The biggest problems in marriage are caused through lack of communication. The worst things can usually be solved if the two parties sit down and discuss the situation logically. All couples will disagree at times. I prefer to think of these times as disagreements, rather than arguments. An argument infers opposing sides, doing battle and trying to win, where a disagreement suggests merely a difference of opinion and a desire towards agreement. The main point is that people need to talk - and listen - to each other's opinions, reasons, ideas etc. If one storms off, or if one "goes quiet" nothing will be resolved, but will fester. A couple needs to "keep short accounts" - to settle things immediately and NEVER let the sun go down on one's wrath. Good discussion. Thanks.
• United States
24 Feb 07
yes, definately. when we fight in relationships, I believe there is passion and lots of spice.. in the bed! funny, but I think it's true. every relationship I had where we fought and bickered over everything we ended up being great in bed. but yes, you have to talk it out and forgive each other for being jacka$$'s when fighting.. I get so nasty some times.. I say some of the meanest things I can think of and feel horrible after..especially if I love that person dearly.
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
24 Feb 07
Arguements and or misunderstandings are a part of life whether your in a relationship or not, talking it over helps calm the situation down. My husband is very patient and calm and i'm the complete opposite. He always finds a way to put me at ease, and never leaves any issues unresolved. It takes me a little longer to get over it but when i do, all is forgiven.
@itsjustmeb (1213)
• Canada
24 Feb 07
If you have communication, its awesome. IF you don't have communication, then you don't have a relationship.
1 person likes this
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
24 Feb 07
well i tend to keep things inside alot but I have been trying to talk to my bf about any and all issues sometimes arguing it out but my child is 1yr old and when he sees us argue he starts to cry which is sad so we don't do that hes too young to understand
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Feb 07
I totally agree with you. Myself and my partner have had some HUGE arguments, but most of the time it's because of a misunderstanding, or because we're stressed out. We always talk things through calmly once we've calmed down and we do our best to make sure that the same thing doesn't happen again. Sometimes a miscommunication can cause a lot of problems. I believe in being as open as possible in order to try and avoid things like that. Good communication is absolutely essential to avoid problems in any relationship or marriage.
@Katlady2 (9920)
• United States
24 Feb 07
I totally agree with you. My mom and dad had many healthy "discussions", but they didn't go overboard with them. Their marriage lasted for 35 years until my mom passed away. Talk is a good thing.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
23 Feb 07
Yes misunderstandings between any couple or friend must be sorted out as soon as possible so that they can retain a good relationship. Everyone does have arguments at some stage of their relationships, and the sooner it is discussed the better off both will feel about it, it is no good to bottle it up as then most of the time it will come out the wrong way and could end up breaking up any relationship.
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
23 Feb 07
Yes I think your Dad was right the only thing that does become a problem is when one of the partners will never accept being wrong, it would be good if people could just talk, express their opinions and accept the other persons stand but unfortunately that is very rare...
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I think its normal for spouses to argue. It's only a problem if it becomes excessive. My husband and I argue. Then in a little bit we're over it, usually. It helps keep things from building up too much.
1 person likes this
@hijas007 (1386)
• India
25 Feb 07
i agree with you.sometimes me too felt that!many times it helps when some misunderstanding happens among friends.i think it should follow all people so that there will not be any misunderstanding!
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
24 Feb 07
Yes! Without question communication of any kind is the only true key to longivity in marriage. Arguing is required to insure that both partners understand the boundries. If you don't aruge over this one will become dominate and the other submissive. And sooner or later that marrage is doomed. No two people ever get alone 100% of the time. Friends are the same way only to a lesser extent. But when you live with each other the direction of your life can be controled by that other person unless you do not allow it. So you have arguements. Your father was right on. It is not only essential it is vital to a sucessfull marraige. And you are right in that it must be a constructive arguement. Soemthing that is usefull to the overall relationship. If the arguement is not about something constructive to both then it is argueing because the love is no longer there. That is distructive and will distroy the marraige sooner or later.
• Canada
24 Feb 07
I think that every relationship has issues, some are superficial thus making them easy to talk over. However some are deep rooted problems that take more time and care. I think that if you are able to talk and work through the deep rooted issues then you end up having a strong bond. To be able to sit and help someone you love or even help each other through something diffficult, is and can be seen as a testament to ones love. It is never easy to sit and work through an argument or even a petty spat but when all is said and done I find that you feel loved, I mean if the person didn't care why bother to talk it out? I definitely think your father was on to something.
@shlynx08 (56)
• Philippines
24 Feb 07
yes i think that is normal to any relationship. the fact that there is no two people alike, we all have differences. what differs is if u were in a relationship, because for teh fact that you have to deal with it, work on it and understand it. even between friends, relatives and families do have misunderstandings and arguments so why question a person u've know most probabaly half of ur life? or more but not ur entire life (for most couples). we just have to learn how to deal with it, learn to talk it over positively and i guess its right that we never sleep over any unfinish argument, misunderstanding or fight... most of the time it wont do good.