need some serious advice please..........

@mbarryton (1872)
United States
February 28, 2007 7:14am CST
ok heres my problem. i have a 7 year old son who is the sweetest little boy in the world. he has made this statement in the past and i didnt know how to answer him. he asked me again last night and hes statement was "mom your going to get old one day and die and i dont want you too. i still dont know how to answer to that. it breaks my heart and this is a touchy subject. hes really sensitive and i dont know exactly what to say to ease him. ive told him that it will be a long time and that he doesn't need to worry about that any time soon. it seems to help but last night he stayed in tears for a long time. has anyone else had to deal with a small child like this and these kind of things? if so how did you handle it?
5 people like this
34 responses
@jadeybabe (264)
28 Feb 07
well just say yes that is true darling but i have many years in me so theres no need for you to be worried im going no were :)
2 people like this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
28 Feb 07
thanks for the response
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 07
jadeybabe 's solution is the best here
• United States
1 Mar 07
My son did this at about the same age. It is something that you just have to answer the best you can and let it go. I always said that if my child is old enough to ask, then he's old enough to get the truth from me. My son fretted over this from time to time for a year or so. I think it's pretty normal. It only means that he has realized that life is not infinite. Just wait until he asks how babies are born....Oh and then there's how did the baby get in your tummy? LOL Those are the fun talks. Just always remember to tell him the truth and most likely you will always get truth back from him.
2 people like this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@shila07 (514)
• Bhutan
1 Mar 07
Its really a sad situation for you and your son,its touchy too. Iam surprised that at this age he wants to know it. JUst tell him that, darling, its true and its a way of life, but donot worry there is lots of time between us, that time you will be grown up and you will get married, then you will understand. Iam sure it will work and he will understand.
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
• India
1 Mar 07
Small child does not know what the surroundings happen.Move with them closely and make them understand what actually going on around us.when he grows up he will understand all the things.
2 people like this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@rusty2rusty (6767)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Feb 07
That is a touchy situation. MY daughter has cried and made that comment. But only once. I just hugged her and told her that I love her and I will be around for a long long time. As females in this family live a very long time. I told her she would be taking care of me. When I am to old to walk. This seem to satisfy her...If he keeps up. Possibly have him talk to a counselor and see what is really bugging him. Maybe there is something going on that he isn't telling you. LIke kids teasing him at school or something.
2 people like this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
28 Feb 07
thanks alot for the advice
1 person likes this
@abhiteja (146)
• India
1 Mar 07
i think ur son is thinking much. ya tis question is very touching to the heart.u can stop ur child from these thoughts by making him happy tan ever else & u can make him to enjoy the life up to the end without any problems.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@amitntpc (55)
• India
1 Mar 07
sometimes kids ask this type of questions and very often get sentimentle about this issue.i was also one of them and used to think the same way.i think most of the people think the same way.you are also one of them.what kind a answer you would like to get from your mom that time?no answer can satisfy you.the only way i think is to change the topic the moment he asks you this type of questions because if it keeps thinking about it all the time it could lead to a pathetic situation later on.convert the negetive thought with a positive thought.let him grow a bit.he will himself know everything.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
• India
1 Mar 07
yes , some one around him has told himm wrongly . if i am in that situation , i try to under stand him that, thats not going to happen for now .
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
• United States
1 Mar 07
I think I would tell him that I take care of myself and health and am doing everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen for a very long time.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@coolcrux1 (141)
• India
1 Mar 07
the main problem is that the he is only 7 Year old. well according to me you should make him understand that it will not happen because you love him so much and if it is happend then it will not happend right now or with in year or two. while growing up he will understand the reality. and you can tell that because he loves you so much you will be a part of his life forever.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
1 Mar 07
My daughter is 4 and I been through this many times with her. I usually tell her that I will forever be in her heart and that one day I will have to go to heaven to be with jesus and when that happens, I told her just to remember that I am in her heart and she is in mine. She always tells me every day "Mommy, your in my heart, am I in yours?" Just let him know whatever may happen, it will be okay, because you will always be there for him in his heart no matter what.
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@sensesfail (2251)
• India
1 Mar 07
Thats really sweet!.Just tell him that you'd be there for him till the very end and that God loves him and wont let anything bad happen to him.That should help him.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@lucas528 (324)
• Northern Mariana Islands
1 Mar 07
hi. just tell him that its true that you will die someday and he too, will die. but give him a promise that you will take care of yourself so you will have a long life and more days to spend with him. also, let him promise that he'll be good so both of you will have so much fun and good times together.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
• United States
1 Mar 07
How sweet. My father handled all these questions wonderfully. He used science and poetry One thing I remember my Dad doing was you take a flash light and shineing it into space. Then he explained that even though I could not see the light anymore It would continue to travel in space forever. that is like our soul. Some time when the question is not on his mind teach him about light and energy. Then explain to him that light and energy never stop. they may change form. But they continue on in another form. Such as sun light. plants absorb it to grow we eat plants it is turned into energy then we poop and that is used in the dirt to give energy to more plants to grow. It is our light and energy that make us . not your boddies. And it is a good life that grows old. You then get to know you grandchildren and maybe their children and that is a full life. If you had never gotten older you would have never had a sweet child
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
• Malaysia
1 Mar 07
Hi there, that is a common questions that been asked by a smart kid. The parents used to find some difficulties in delivering the messages in order for them to understand the whole topic that they are talking about. I am not a mother yet, but I am used to read the parenting books and looked out for some parenting stuff. Hence, I will answer and give my opinion base on my knowledge that I got from those books and seminars. We should tell gently to the kids every single of us will die someday. When we talk about die, anyone could die any time without counting on how old they are. Since you said your boy is quite sensitive person, you could use some soft approach by telling him "Why should we die?" "We die because God loves us and wish to take us to meet him" "Since God loves us, so do not afraid of dying. Besides, we will be together in heaven happily for ever after" If you are using that approach, you are not lying to your children, you tell them the truth and the best part you just teach them on faith in such wise way. I believe, If you are using this approach your sensitive boy will not get hurt and he will understand that very well.
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@carol79 (201)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
If I was in your situation, I would tell my child that it is a normal process of life. But she doesn't have to be scared for when we go we just move to another place which is far better than where we are right now. It would still be a long time before this happens and for sure mommy would always be there for you no matter what. I think honesty is the best way to deal with it.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@sweetsue (759)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
this is pretty touchy. How thoughtful of your child to think such way even at his age. I think, you just console him in a way that it will alleviate his worries somehow. I believe it is better to explain to him clearly that each one of us here in this world will have our time to die. You, him and everybody else. Tell him that he'd better not worry too much.What is important is that you are with him right now and showing and giving him your love and even the best of everything. Tell him that you love him so much and you don't want him to worry of those things. You'll have your longest time together and you just want to enjoy each others company. I believe, this situation is just for the time being. When he gets older and he will become more mature things will be clearer and he won't perceive things the way he is perceiving right now. Goodluck and God bless!
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
1 Mar 07
your son is very loving, you've been a good mother i may say so. for now just tell him not to worry about it coz its still too early to think on that. a 7 year old kid wont understand some serious matter for now. so the best thing to say for now is, mommy wont leave you, so dont worry about it. i guess when he gets older he will understand that all of us will go there, its just that we have our own time. take care of your precious son, how i wish i can have that in the future.
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
• United States
1 Mar 07
aww :( my brother use to do that when he was younger. i know its mean of me but some now when we go to bed and my brother sleeps with my mom i jokingly say say bye to momma cause she might not wake up in the morning. i do it just to joke but sometimes i feel bad. all i know to do is like my mom when my brother would be scared just give him a hug and kiss and tell him that everything will be ok and ill be here for a long time. sometimes just being in the next room lissoning to it and just sitting there it made me feel good to hear it, i guess i joke because i dont want to hear the truth but i do like to hear my mom say everything will be ok. cause like when your little and you fall your mom will give you a bandaide and kiss it it did feel better and her words do too. :) hope you feel better things will be ok.
1 person likes this
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response
1 person likes this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Mar 07
Most children between the ages of 5 and 7 go through this. My daughter's teacher years ago actually sent home a piece of paper when she started kindergarten telling parents what emotional experiences children may be experiencing upon entering in to school. This was at the top of the list. I forget why it starts at this age, but I bet if you spoke to the teacher you find many other students going through this. The best thing that you can do is comfort him. Depending on your faith you can also explain it that way. Letting him know that this is just a part of life, but not going so deep with it. Children can also have nightmares about this and that is also perfectly normal. I would suggest a call to your child's pediatrician as I'm sure that they have literature on this and how to handle this particular situation. Just know that this is a perfectly normal experience that most children go through, the ones that are more sensitive, are hit harder by it than others less sensitive. I wish you well through this troubling time. :)
@mbarryton (1872)
• United States
1 Mar 07
thanks so much for your response