Teacher’s/Principles undermined us as parents?

Teachers in our schools under minding me as a pare - Teachers in our schools under minding me as a parent
Australia
March 3, 2007 4:08pm CST
Miss 10’s school has parade every Friday I don’t always get to attend but this week I took the time to drop in. At the end of parade the principle told the children to “spend the weekend resting,” It sounds so innocent at first, but I feel it is under minding me as a parent, as when I asked miss 10 to assist with a chore yesterday (Saturday), the return comment was it is the weekend we are suppose to be resting. This is not the first time I have come across this, a temp teacher one Friday told the children, “the week is over; you don’t have to do any work till Monday”. Miss 10 refused to do any of her chores that weekend stating what the teacher said. I have also noticed both the principle & the teacher in question both do not have children of their own at home. Should I say something to the school about this? It sound so innocent in passing, but I do feel it is under minding me as a parent. We try to teach our Children to respect their elders & teachers, shouldn’t the same be with the teachers, reminding them to respect & listen us??
10 people like this
22 responses
• United States
3 Mar 07
So here is what I think. Your daughter needs to learn that when the teacher says rest this weekend she doesn't actually mean laying on your butt and don't do anything for your parents she means take a break from school work and enjoy your family time. Both you and your daughter are reading way to much into a teachers truly innocent comment. Your daughter is trying to manipulate you you have to stand your ground and let her know that it isn't going to work.
5 people like this
• Australia
4 Mar 07
Thank you for your response. Homework in my daughters class is set from Thursday to Wednesday, so I believe she should be doing some (not all of it) each day. My perfect week would be if it was all finished by Friday, but that is never the case, Monday & Tuesday night is “panic night” with homework rushed to be completed. I try to get my daughter to do at lease 15 minutes a day, note the word TRY doesn’t always happen… lol, (at least till it is all finished).
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 07
Yes I think you should talk to your child's principal about this situation. They are teaching your child to be lazy. Not all of us have the luzury to have weekends off, and if your child keeps getting that impression then what's going to happen when she gets a job later on in life? Sorry Boss but I can't work the weekends because I was taught that the weekends were to be for relaxing. Umm...no! Teachers and principals also need to understand that they don't live in the home, so they don't have to deal with the stress that comes along with your child refusing to do something because her teacher or principal told her it was okay. I would be very upset at the school for allowing this to go on. If it still doesn't change after you discuss it the situation, you might want to take it to the superintendent and tell him the problem. Ask around also what the other parents are doing and if their children are behaving the same way, if so you might want to have them get into action. But these are only my thoughts and suggestions. Only you know what's best your child.
• Australia
4 Mar 07
Thank you for your response. My best friend is a teacher’s aide at her school. Due to my shift work I am not always available to communicate to the school, & she helps out or advises me when needed. I think I’ll have a chat to my friend about this, she knows the principle better than I do, and she may be able to let it slip in conversation, about her comments.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 07
you are quite correct in that teachers and schools should teach children to respect parents and doing chores is a part of the weekend most definately! perhaps you should tell miss 10 that when the school says the weekend is a period of 'rest', it means it is a period of rest from school stuff but not from home stuff and you the parent decide the home stuff?
• Australia
4 Mar 07
Thank you for your response
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 07
Yes, IMO, you should say something to the school board about it. Being that it may, the principal and teacher in question do not have their own children, so it may not have even occurred to either of them that they are inadvertently telling the children to disregard their parents' requests.
4 people like this
• Australia
4 Mar 07
Thankyou for your response
2 people like this
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
3 Mar 07
They may be saying those things innocently, not thinking about the child taking them so literal . . . But your daughter may also be using the quotes as an excuse not to do the chores. . . But your right, We teach our kids to respect their elders, and we deserve to have teachers that will enforse that respect back home. Kids get mixed messages sometimes (mom says I have to do everything teacher tells me so ....) And so I think I would say something to the principal on your next chance, not as a lecture but as an "innocent" request.
• Australia
4 Mar 07
Thankyou for your response, my daughter is at the age, if it means she can get out of doing chores, work, or anything she doesn’t want to do, she will take any comment literally. lol
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Mar 07
Well i doubt they are doing it on purpous to undermine you as a parent. But i would have a word with them. They probably dont realize how literally children take things like that. I would just go in and request to speak with the principle and let him know exactly how its effecting your child, and that its possibly, very probably effecting other children the same way. Im sure one they realize how they are being taken, it will be a oh my bad kind of thing, sorry, and try to watch what they say.
3 people like this
• Australia
4 Mar 07
Thank you for your response. I know I am probably blowing this out of proportion, but it just irked, me when I heard this principle. I know she has no husband, no children I also know she has a housekeeper. To her weekends, may be for resting but in the real world I live in, the weekend is just another day. I am a shift worker, so I only get every second weekend off, to spend with my family, & that time is also when we have to catch up on family time, housework & chores, ect. Finished venting, stepping off soap box now… lol
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Mar 07
While I think you and your daughter may be reading more into this situation than is really there, I agree that you need to speak with the school officials about this. I wouldn't make a really big deal about it, but if you communicate that innocent comments seem to undermine your authority at home and as a parent, perhaps this can be addressed in the classroom as well as at home. Perhaps you and a few parents could appear in the classroom and present this dilemma in such a way that the children learn from the experience instead of feeling as if s/he is being ganged up on in front of his/her peers. Maybe a drama activity with the children acting out the parts, improvising reactions etc. Then have a discussion about how things can be misconstrued or manipulated to serve one's own purpose. Just a suggestion.
2 people like this
• Australia
4 Mar 07
Thank you for your response. I like your suggestion about addressing issues in the classroom. They seem to discuss & address other social issues in the classroom, why not something closer to home.
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Mar 07
Definitely talk to the teachers about that one. The kids are interpreting what the teachers say to THEIR benefit. I'm sure what the staff means is "no more school work" but they are saying it in such a way that the kids can twist it around to fit their own agendas. Definitely talk to the staff about it!!
2 people like this
• United States
8 Jul 07
The school isn't undermining you; your daughter is trying to manipulate you.
1 person likes this
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
7 Jul 07
I think you should explain to your child that when the teacher or principal say "You don't have to do any work over the weekend" that they mean that they are not giving you any work to do over the weekend, not telling you that you can sit around on your rear and disobey your parents. I don't think the schools are doing anything wrong here, you simply need to get control of your daughter's attitude. She's only saying those things to try and smart off.
1 person likes this
@14missy (3185)
• Australia
5 Mar 07
I can understand how you feel as kids do seem to take notice of only the things they want from us and their teachers. Let miss ten know that you are the boss of the house and her teacher/principal is the boss at school and each have their own set of rules. Good luck!!
@dfinster (3537)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I think the teachers are meaning that they should rest their minds and don't need to do any "school work" until the weekend is over. I don't think they're trying to undermine you in any way. Just make sure your kids know not to take these things to literal.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Mar 07
I would most definatly have a word with these teachers children should help around the home and you are right in letting them know your objections to there comment Children dont need excuses tailor made to not help they will think up enough on their own
1 person likes this
@Joey322 (272)
• United States
4 Mar 07
i am in total understanding and i agree that they probably don't realize what they are doing by saying these things and they need to be more specific... "it is friday and now you don't have to do anymore SCHOOL work until monday". or "please spend the weekend resting, but be sure to pitch in at home with your chores!!" i would make an appt with the principal soon, b/c he/she may not even realize what is going on and needs an eye opener!! take care
• United States
4 Mar 07
Little red schoolhouse - Little red one-room schoolhouse.
Yes I strongly feel this is the case. I got so fed up with the teachers and the administration and the conflicts it was causing at home (as well as a few other things the admin was doing) that I pulled them and started homeschooling a few years ago. I would definitely go talk to the principal and the teacher. They don't realize the trouble they are causing; I'm sure.
1 person likes this
@vampkat (60)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I had a problem with one of my daughter's teachers once. i am a non-religious person, and for good reason. I have allowed my daughter to form her own opinions of religions as she comes across them, giving her any answers she seeks in a non-biased way. One day she came home and told me "Mommy, you are wrong. My teacher told us God made us, and we should always be grateful to him!". Needless to say I was dumbstruck. I fumed about the teacher shoving religion down my daughter's throat for a day or two, then when i had calmed, I asked to speak with her in private. We spoke on the subject, and she assured me she would curb her religous behavior from now on, as that is a terminable offense, but she sometimes got away with herself. She apologized profusly and I haven't heard anything else about it. normally just speaking with the School Staff calmly is enough to rectify the problem.
@KrauseHome (34982)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I am sure most children would not think and be like this. To me, this sounds harmless in passing, and I am sure if you asked the person saying this, they meant nothing by it, but some people like your daughter took this for something serious and you need to help explain to your daughter that it is OK to do stuff during the weekend. And explain to them what their teacher meant, is they can relax and not have to worry about working on their homework, etc. And have Freedom to enjoy the time with their families.
@flitcsa (47)
• Canada
4 Mar 07
I think that I would mention it to the teacher or principal ...but in a casual, joking way .... such as 'you do know that when you tell them that, some of the kids - like mine - try to use that as a way to get out of doing any chores at home all weekend. they'll try anything, won't they?'
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7593)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I don't think anything needs to be said to the school- not through the principal , school board, or teacher. I think actually you'd look silly if you did. Children take things too literally these days. Your child should know that the first person they should listen to and mind is their parents (our step if they live with a step parent). My daughters teacher tells them to have a great relaxing weekend every week. That doesn't mean that she doesn't do chores-- or go to friends, or go to basketball games, etc. It just means that she can relax from schoolwork. I think your daughter is pulling a fast one and all you need to do is explain. Good luck- I also have a 10 year old!
• Canada
4 Mar 07
I think when they state that the kids don't have to do any work till Monday, they're talking about Schoolwork. It seems to me that your daughter MAY be taking those words too literal as an excuse not to have to do any chores - we all know how kids hate doing chores, they're famously reluctant to help around the home. However, if you're worried about the effect those words are having on your kids, and you feel that they undermine what you're trying to teach your children, by all means go and talk to the teachers and the Principal of the school. There may be some sort of a solution that you can come to. Maybe all thats needed is for them to change the wording slightly.
1 person likes this