in love with a cheater...
By heartsick
@heartsick (832)
Philippines
March 6, 2007 8:15pm CST
why do some people choose to love a "cheater" rathr than a good one? why do we always believe that they are good even they are not? maybe because in love, you can't see the bad reality of things, unless you get hurt by them... you'll suddenly realize how worse that person is.. that's the pathetic part of being in love, that sometimes even the "worst person" in this world can be the best person for you "own belief"..
* * * *
I learned how to love
without expecting anything in return...
for a while it felt good...
but soon enough
i had to stop...
why?
Bcoz the more i love the person..
the more i Lose myself.. :(
6 people like this
26 responses
@aryan77 (72)
• India
7 Mar 07
hi ...
i hv undergone through the same situation,,but i didnt loved a cheater i loved a girl who wwas always mine but due to sm reason today she had left me ...
so where are those promises that she made wid me..
smtimes ur true love can also betraye u dear..
but one thing keep in mind dat...
DON'T LET SM1 BECOME A PRIORITY IN UR LIFE WHEN U ARE AN OPTION IN THIER LIFE...
HOPE IT WUD HELP U..
2 people like this
@rhea_lyn (199)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
I guess now,that you know that he/she is cheater,you need to let go and moved on and learn seomthing from it.That is more important of being inlove is you will know how to let and moved on to give sometime for yourself.Having this ex.perience it can make you grow and to be more strong!God bless you!Wounds and pain will heal in the right time!
1 person likes this
@kleo_23 (104)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
don't confuse yourself. you are already aware that loving that person hurts so much and tend to ruin you entire life, why bother contemplating about your heartaches? don't even bother to answer every questions you have in mind. just move on... you'll feel better. love is a thing so complicated, you can never tell which is right from wrong when you think your in love, in fact, sometimes, love is stupid. let it go... forget you even had this feeling or else your next possible relationships could get ruined by your emotions of anger or fear of the experience you have just had.
1 person likes this
@ksgirl (11)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Let me tell you somthing I had to learn the hard way, if you can't love yourself, no one else will. You have to love yourself before anyone else can. Until you can love yourself, you will just keep using people to abuse yourself because you don't feel good enough to be loved.
Lose this person you are with now. Start fresh, not with another person, but yourself. Get to know yourself, change what you don't like about yourself, learn how to not be afraid when you are alone. And then you can start loving yourself.
I'll let you in on another secret, there is already someone who does love you with His whole heart, and that is God! He is waiting for you, all you have to do is as for him to come into your life and he will. God made us with a free will and will not force Himself upon us, we have to go to Him and ask Him into our lives. And no matter what we have done in the past, or what we may do today, He already loves us! He will be there in the good times and through the bad times. That is what you call unconditional love! I have been a Christian for may years, and I still can't get over how awsome this gift for all of us is!
Even if you do not make the choice to invite God into you heart, please stop hurting youself, find a way to love yourself, so you can be happy.
God Bless and keep you,
John 3:16 - read it!
2 people like this
@heartsick (832)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
Your response is the best. i think your right.. always put God in everything you do. thanks!
@nexus_livez (61)
• India
7 Mar 07
People never choose cheaters, i mean why would they? If they know that he/she is a cheater.
It's like we cannot figure out a person in the initial stages..
Yes everything around you is so wonderful & beutiful..you love your life initially..
The real problem is when either of the two get bored of the relationship..
Results in or transforms into "one sided r-ship"
thats when the whole r-ship comes to an end..things get worse..
One still loves..0ne tries to get out..
This might be the reason..& this is been the comon problem in a r-ship.
Last thing i wud like to say is..why would you love a person,who does'nt love you anymore..? hmm??
I know its hard..but one should get over it..make him/her realize that breakin up wid you was his/her all time blunder/sin/mistake whatever..
Thats what i think..
Seeya..
Peace
Aneal jonathan
1 person likes this
@Cephoozee (373)
• United States
7 Mar 07
I think your thinking is a bit disollusioned, I think that people stay with cheaters because they truly, deeply love them and think they won't do it again are will get better.
1 person likes this
@coolsree (509)
• India
7 Mar 07
Hi,
Love is feeling that borns in anywhere even in mud. I think & I belive that love should come from heart. IT should not be like " he is a rich man lets love him". Love should not have any eye. You should love the person who you love not considering who he is & what he is. That is pue love. Thankyou.
@Rosepariah (6)
•
7 Mar 07
yes, in some ways that is true. but i have always said that it is better to find true love, no matter how much it can hurt, than to stay away and avoid it, and miss out on one of the most powerful and best feelings a human could ever feel.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
It's really hard to explain and understand love. It's as complicated as life itself. We can't tell outright if the person we choose is right or wrong unless we hit the rough road. We give our everything and face the hardest part of making ourselves fall out of love after the person hurts or cheats us. We go into a stage where we blame ourselves for not being perfect. We think there might be something wrong with us, that we didn't give as much. Move on and face the reality that this is just one of the stages you have to go through before you meet the perfect person that God has chosen for you. It will hurt, but it won't hurt forever. Keep your head up and shine, always think you deserve the best :)
@naty1941 (2336)
• United States
7 Mar 07
The majority of times we don't know they are cheaters until it is too late. Now it is dangerous to love a cheater because of AIDS. Once as a young woman I fell in love with a man that was a Don Juan. When I found out about it, I had to stop the relationship as I was afraid of getting a sexually transmitted illness. There are a lot of good men out there that don't need to cheat on their girlfriends or wives.
1 person likes this
@tatzkie (644)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
many people believe in miracle... they might be able to turn a seemingly bad person into a good one... and love is the key to that transformation.
but i dont believe them. i know people are capable of changing but this is not induce from outside but from within. Reality is when you love someone, we shut ourselves to the negative aspect of the person we love. But to be inlove with a cheater is utterly a waste of time and emotional investment. If i were in that situation ill leave and move on. I deserve a happy life.. coz i dont cause people's lives unhappy.
@Zelmarq (12585)
• Cebu City, Philippines
7 Mar 07
Matters of the heart, its not really something that our minds could ever hold when it comes to the matters of the heart. When one is in love everything is so right and perfect, there will come a point that you will realize that it was all rong the first time it happened. Regrets never come ahead of events in our lives, sometimes it comes too late when the damage has been done.
@chenvstony (365)
• China
8 Mar 07
I think everyone who like you being in love has the same situation with you.Love can make human mad.A lot of times love needs a little kind lies.But I hope we can be clearer between lovers.
@hikarushidou (843)
• Philippines
8 Mar 07
that's why the phrase love is blind came out. you know he's a cheater but you still choose to stay, even if you're mind already tells you he;s no good. just think of this as learning experiences.
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
7 Mar 07
For some, being with a cheater is all part of a thrill. They love the feeling of something that's taboo. It's when their spouses find out that the pain starts.
My sister recently started dating a guy she met at work. She thought everything was going well, they agreed to take it slow and started going out for dinner and drinks and stuff.
Then she found out that he was seeing another girl too. He actually told her that it was okay for him to see another girl too but it wasn't okay for her to see other guys. So, she told him where he could shove that view and called it off. It works both ways.
@vgolden (89)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Understand your feeling, and would like to give you a warm hug. Betrayed and cheated by a lover does hurt. While you possibly feel worse from the feeling of "what a loser I am"; or "how unfair".
For the first thing, I hope you would know, there is no lose or win when speaking of love. There might be something good in a cheater and that's why you loved him. When you gave him a lot of love, you might also have once harvest pleasure from him. Therefore please cherish the great moments and don't blame yourself for being cheated. At the same time, learn from the experience and know how to know if someone is honest. Thus end it up with a smarter mind and a grateful heart. Thank him for the lesson because from it you can take off for a much better future.
@cuteelhen (14)
• Philippines
7 Mar 07
Even if it hurts you.. you still choose to be in love. Why? Because being in-love is the most head bangin' feelin'. It keeps you alive everyday.
And remember that men are born polygamous, so there..
You just have to decide either to stay or to leave. It is still your choice.
I've been into many relationship. Like yours, I been in love and get hurt. And, in love again and get hurt.
Remember that even if you get the most decent and kind man in this earth you will still and still get hurt.. even if his a one woman man or a cheater you will still get hurt.. Because that is what you called love.
@Je_suis_Hailey (33)
• Australia
7 Mar 07
I don't believe that people choose to love anyone, it's something that our heart does without our brains permission. I know what it's like to feel pain in a situation like this and I imagine most other people do or will eventually in their lives. The best thing I found for me was to stay away from the person who caused the pain, and time healed the rest, I still have bad feelings about it sometimes and doubt that they will ever go away but now instead of feeling depressed or getting really upset, I use it to remind myself that I must always be careful when I put alot of faith in a person, especially if it someone new to my life. Just because you think you know somebody doesn't mean they won't change.
Please don't allow your heartache to rule your life, you can move on and although you may not feel like it right now, you can find someone else and one day you WILL want too. The right person for you will love you for who you are and not do anything to hurt you, one day you will find that person and it will be when you least expect it. Don't despare, life has trials and tribulations, this is just one of them and it teaches us valuable lessons.
