MY BOYFRIEND SAYS AM SPENDING TOO MUCH time on the computer

United States
March 8, 2007 4:07am CST
Since I have joined mylot I have been spending a great amount of time on my PC. The other day my BF said "Just what is so interesting on that computer lately?" I replied "I'm making money" (I didn't tell him how much because I know he would say it isn't worth it for all the time I spend on here but I don't think he would understand if I told him that really it's just an interesting site for me And that it's really not about the money!) he said "yeh right" so i told him to come see what I was doing. He never did, and even if he did I don't think he would be interested in this site. We are both laid off right now so we are home together alot. I have tried cutting back on my computer usage because it is starting to put a strain on our relationship. So right now it's 5:30 am and he is still asleep. I got up early to get on here so when he gets up I can spend time with him. Has anyone else gone through something similar to this?
12 people like this
43 responses
• United States
8 Mar 07
Hi, it seems men are always suspicious of what we girls are doing on the computer. They always seem to suspect we are chatting with hot guys. Your boyfriend might be thinking that is what you are doing. Maybe that is why he said "Yeah, right..." when you told him you were making money. I "live" on the net and any male friend I ever had always asked if I was ONE: watching adult stuff or TWO: chatting with sexy men on the net. Your boyfriend is threatened by your reaching out. Is he the controlling type?
6 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
Hmmmm. yes maybe that is a side of him I have not recognized yet. I'm thinking he could possibly be the controling type now that you mentioned it or possibly jealous? He could be thinking that I am chatting with hot guys being as all the typing I'm doing! LOL! Thanks carolmil and welcome to mylot!
4 people like this
• Ireland
8 Mar 07
I can understand your boyfriend even though I spend most of my time on my pc. However, I am married and I stay at home all day so I have lots of time to spare. When my husband returns home from work, he likes to watch sport on tv. I detest sport so he is happy that I have something to keep me occupied. I think you will just have to work out a timetable and set aside a certain amount of time for your pc. Your relationship is more important than your pc.
6 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
Yes our relationship is more important! Now when he goes back to work it will be much easier for me LOL. Good idea about the timetable. thanks alexandria!
4 people like this
@mbizmom (237)
• United States
8 Mar 07
When my boyfriend saw me typing instead of just browsing he automatically wanted to know what I was doing. When I told him I was chatting on a forum and got paid per post he just sort of rolled his eyes and said "whatever." I'm going to wait until I get my first payout and then show him, he'll change his tune after that and want me on here all the time. It mainly annoys him when I'm on here because we only have one computer and he wants to play poker when he's home.
5 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
Yes I'm sure mine will change his tune when he sees my first payout aslso LOL! Thanks mbizmom!
2 people like this
@deeeky (3669)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
8 Mar 07
It is very considerate of you to be on the computer whilst he is asleep so that you spend more time with him in his woken hours. You should not feel guilty about being on the computer but try to encourage him in joining you and taking it in shifts to increase your earnings.
• United States
8 Mar 07
Now that's a good idea I will try to encourage him and boost my earnings! ;)
4 people like this
@Artsimba (1335)
• United States
8 Mar 07
Trust me, I really really really know how you feel.
4 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
been there huh? Thanks artsimba!
2 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
That's happened to me before. You just really have to compromise and work on the relationship and work on what the other says is the problem. It's nice to see that you are trying to make it work though, even if the small sacrifice of waking up early is required.
4 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
Thanks highflyingxangel!
2 people like this
@jvego7426 (153)
8 Mar 07
thats a nice idea. and yea someone said you encourage him to do shiftings! thats a nice idea too! But otherwise, just dont get the mylot or the pc takeover too much?! hehehe
4 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
LOL! That's why I get up like 3 hours earlier than him now! Thanks jvego!
2 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
My wife said that i spent almost all the day in front of the computer. She said that i almost ignore her.
4 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
utoh! Now thats not good! Try to pay a little more attention to her (just a little) :) Thanks wilsonshi!
2 people like this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
8 Mar 07
When I first got the i=nternet (1991) my wife wasn't pleased with the time after work I soent here. I wouldn't go to bed with her when she did. She was always worried I was up to no good. Then she sat with me one day seeing the rooms I chatted in & said, "That's cool." After that she got into the internet also. Even to this day she tries to get on aonce in awhiler. She does contests, sweepstakes, and freebies online. Now she knows I'm here a lot. It didn't really strain our relationship we feel. But she doesn't like it when I say, "I'm going to Milwaukee (9hiour trip) to meet a friend friom the BillW chat room. Well I wish you the best with your boyfreind. I'm sure in time he'll understand. He may even get a chance to log on and play POKER. HahAHa! HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!
• United States
9 Mar 07
Good point at least I'm home right? LOL! Thanks Grandpa Bob!
2 people like this
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
8 Mar 07
I have been accused of liking the computer better than my boyfriend but he is just joking around with me. Even when I am on the computer I can be close to him. He likes to watch tv and his chair is about two feet from mine, so we talk all the time. He especially likes to talk when I am typing.lol
4 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
hehehe! thanks brenda lee!
3 people like this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
9 Mar 07
I have a similar situation with my husband. He says I spend too much time on the computer, and wants to know what I am doing. When I try to explain he also says it's not worth it. I ask him what he would rather me do, to which I don't receive a reply.
• United States
9 Mar 07
I know I have tried to explain this site to my BF also he just doesnt get it YET! Thanks jennybianca!
@MarkyB21 (1545)
8 Mar 07
The fact that using this site is a social activity can't be denied, it seems more important to me that you have fun on the site than earn money. You're clearly committed to your relationship if you're prepared to get up early so that you get your computer usage over with in time to spend time with your boyfriend so I don't think it should be any further strain on your relationship.
3 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
Thanks marky:)
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
8 Mar 07
ive had this same debate with my husband and he just doesnt get it. So ive had to resort to early mornings and late at nights too lol nm its still great fun
3 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
LOL guess that's the plan for me for now too. When he sleeps I'l go online! I had to take a nap today to recharge for tonight! LOL!
• Canada
8 Mar 07
I had this problem with my ex. He had the audacity to tell me that I spent too much time online even though he was online all day, and I only got to go online at night when he went out to drink with his buddies. It got to the point that I was waking and getting up at 4.30am to talk to some of my friends and take my daughter to school before he got up and went online. Half the time he'd sign me out without even saying goodbye to my friends for me because he was just rude and ignorant like that. My partner now is totally different. He doesn't mind that I spend so much time online because he knows that when the kids get home from school I attend to their needs and his needs when he gets home, and then I don't come back online till the kids are ready for bed. he also knows that I make sure all the household chores are done too. If my ex had been a little more understanding, and much less abusive, our relationship MIGHT have lasted just a little bit longer.
3 people like this
@wsue1023 (1396)
• United States
8 Mar 07
I make sure I'm off by the time my husband comes home because it seems rude to me to take time away from him to be doing anything online. Unless, there's something pressing that I have to do right that minute. I'm online a lot during the day, then again when everyone is in bed I know I'm online too much. It's my only social outlet when home with the kids and if it weren't for the internet I'd be lonely and depressed! Seriously. I'm trying to cut back on some of my computer time though because I feel like I'm not doing enough with the kids. We homeschool, so when I'm not online I'm doing that and it's a great way to share one on one time with them. When I'm on the computer they're either reading books, watching tv, or playing games, but all without me... makes me feel a little guilty I guess.
• United States
9 Mar 07
I agree that it is rude. He's in bed right now for the night and I just had to get online! Thanks wsue!
2 people like this
@ashjoe76 (1434)
• India
8 Mar 07
This sounds familiar, but I guess I have gotten over it. A relationships is very important, but so is our persona; satisfaction. I guess the key is to keep the right balance, and I am sure if we think and act, it is not impossible to maintain that balance.
• United States
9 Mar 07
You're right that is the key! BALANCE! Thanks ashjoe!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 07
Well if my husdand was home all day with me I would be crazy and so we he......There is no way that would work at my house....I do stay off the computer when my hubby is home, but I am on it all day,,,,,So I can understand. I try to make money, homeschool my kids and find time to clean the house...There is not a lot of time in the day....
• United States
9 Mar 07
I hate to say this but yes it will be much easier when he goes back to work. I work 2pm-10pm when my work picks back up! Thanks happymomof2!
2 people like this
@Slashher (117)
• Denmark
8 Mar 07
you should add him as a referal
3 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
When I finally get him hooked I will LOL! Thanks slashher!
2 people like this
@paidreader (5151)
• United States
8 Mar 07
LOL, my hubby says the same thing. He usually follows with the question "have you been paid yet?" It really is nice to be able to tell him "YES, As a matter of fact, I have!" I get the biggest kick out of showing him the checks, paypal & stormpay deposits, and lets not forget all the gift certificates! ;D With both of you laid off, I'm sure it must be difficult, even without your interest in the pc. I think you're doing the best thing by spending as much time as possible with him while he's awake. I know I get alot done while hubby's sleeping too. :)
• United States
9 Mar 07
Yes it is difficult with both of us home. Thanks paidreader!
2 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
No I haven't gone through that, but I don't spend that much time on the computer. Its sounds like to me that he is not so much interested in what you think is so important on the computer as why you would rather do that than spend time with him. And since you both have extra time on your hands, it is magnified even more.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 07
yes! too much time! thanks cayene!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 07
You'll get things back to normal and then each of you will have your own "my time" back again. Don't worry about it. Have a good day.