Marriage and Slavery
By musicmasters
@musicmasters (73)
India
March 11, 2007 11:09pm CST
Friends on mylot, I have a friend who has been married for only a couple of months now. She never complains about anything but when you speak to her you will realise that she has a lot of trouble back home. She has frequent fights with her better half but has never ever mentioned the fact that he does not have any trust in her. Her husband who cannot be trusted according her own description of him makes a heavy statement about her. Follow this statement and tell me what is right and what is wrong.... This is what was told to her " You are a wall away from my office and there is no way on earth for me to know about what games you are playing on that end."I SAY IF I WERE IN THIS GIRL'S PLACE I WOULD HAVE CUT THE HUSBAND'S HEAD OFF. I WOULD NOT HAVE ACCEPTED TO STAY A SLAVE TO HIM FOR LIFE JUST FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT INDIAN CULTURE TELLS US THAT ONCE A GIRL BECOMES A DAUGHTER IN LAW OF A HOUSE SHE HAS TO TOLERATE EVERYTHING THAT SHE GETS FROM HE R HUSBAND OR HIS HOUSE.........
IS IT RIGHT FOR HER TO LIVE A LIFE OF TORTURE WITHOUT HAVING THE FREEDOM TO EVEN HAVE FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF THE FAMILY????????IS IT RIGHT FOR HER TO KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT DESPITE ANYTHING THAT THE HUSBAND SAYS OR DOES TO HER???????????IS IT CORRECT THAT SHE DOES NOT TALK BACK TO HUSBAND FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT SHE LOVES HIM AND HE KEEP SAYING ANYTHING??????????IF THIS IS TRUE THEN IT SHOULD MEAN THAT THE HUSBAND DOES NOT LOVE HER, RIGHT??????????PEOPLE I WILL REALLY APPRECIATE A LOT OF INPUTS FROM ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST.........
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
12 Mar 07
In my country, that kind of behavior that he is exhibiting toward his wife is called ABUSE. I do not know what the laws of India are concerning situations like these. However, in my mind, no woman (or man for that matter) should have to go through being physically, mentally, or emotionally abused, EVER. A spouse, or significant other, should not be forced to keep quiet, and succumb to certain actions, just to make the other person happy. It is morally and ethically wrong. It is more along the lines of slavery and degradation, and should not be allowed.
@musicmasters (73)
• India
12 Mar 07
Hey Katlady2 thank you very much for your response this something that I had in mind too........I really don't know about what this kingd of a behavior is called but I for one know that it is really unethical........but tell me something if I am not askng you a wrong question...... Can a person who is keeping shut out of their own interest is right from their end or not.....Do you think if you were to be in such a situation yourself then you would prefer to keep quiet or would you raise a word against this behavior......Let me give you another factor to consider before you give an answer to my question.....The girl is concerned about her father who has been the whole and soul for her life.....she thinks that if she were to raise a word against this then it would affect her father's reputationa and life because the husband and the in laws might create differences between them.....Waht in this situation does the girl do.......????????????
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
12 Mar 07
That's a very difficult one. Being the very opinionated person that I am, I would say that she should speak up against it and stand up for what she is feeling. Keeping those feelings repressed could cause her to become even more hurt and angry. Is there any way she can approach her father to discuss what is going on? That could be one way of approaching the problem, if speaking out is too difficult for her. But, in any instance, she needs to be able to live her life without being "held down". She needs to somehow learn to depend on herself for strength so she can stand on her own two feet.
1 person likes this
@mohammed25 (1)
• India
15 Mar 07
This kind of a man, who do not trust her wife who makes statements like "you are a wall away from my office and there is no way on earth for me to know about what games you are playing on that end" is not worth of having a good wife. because marriage is all about trust and respect for each other. marriage is not a agreement of slavery from the girls end that she has to go through all this torture. When a girl is married she dreams of a man, who is physically and mentally strong, so that whenever she is upset or sad she has a shoulder on which she can ly her head and weep two tears to come out of that sad phase of life. she looks for a guy who is always there for her at anytime during the ups and downs of life, but definitely not a husband like who cannot trust her wife. despite they work in the same building this guy shows absolute no trust towards her wife its ridiculous. The girl should fight for her rights. Because as i said earlier marriage is all about TRUST AND RESPECT AND DEFINITELY NOT AN AGREEMENT OF SLAVERY FROM THE GIRLS SIDE.
1 person likes this
@musicmasters (73)
• India
15 Mar 07
This is an exact representation of what is happening....I think that Trust is the base for any relationship......It is very necessary for anyone to0 first beleive their spouse.....If it was not so then there is no meaning in calling your spouse your better half....Even in India as we call our wife "Ardhangi" meaning half of our self...... This is something that I suppose should be made evident to people who need to know this........Thank you very much for your inputs........
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
No. It is never right to treat a woman like a possession. It is true that being a wife, you ought to consider your other half in your decisions. But it is never a wife's duty to be a doormat to her husband. If I were in your friend's situation I would stand up for myself. If he beats me once that will be the time I will pack my bags (heck I won't even bother to pack if he is trying to kill me) and leave. That is why I always say to my friends that it is a very good idea to have savings for yourself to cover emergencies and not be dependent on one's husband for money. I hope your friend realizes that love is not enough in a relationship, there ought to be trust and respect as well.
@musicmasters (73)
• India
12 Mar 07
I totally agree with your point of view earth2jacq....I for one know that she is capable enough to take care of herself on her own....But the question however in her mind is what would the results of such an action be......How would it affect her life......The reason for this kind of thoughts is her love for her husband....She is deeply concerned about his well being and she feels that she is an integral part of his life as she has accepted to share his home with him.......Now her issue is that she feels she has to be a daughter in law ( in hindi BAHU-a typical word for free worker in india)....Now how do I get her to understand what she has to do........
