This Crazy Language

@weemam (13378)
March 13, 2007 1:04pm CST
found this site today ,, brilliant xx Makes you think English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and 3 quarters of international mail is in English. Of all the languages,it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it. Copyright © Richard Lederer. This is the link to the site I found it on -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.funny-stuff-central.com/english.php
6 people like this
20 responses
@raydene (9875)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Hello I love it. Made me think alittle. You did it again You come up with the best discussions. That's why you are one of the people Icheck to see what you're saying. R
4 people like this
@weemam (13378)
13 Mar 07
thank you so much my friend xxx
2 people like this
13 Mar 07
lol this is really funny but also very true. The english language is probally one of the hardest to master because of all the silly variences in it. It most be a nightmare for forigners.
3 people like this
@diansinta (7551)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 07
tell me about it.... \(@o@)/
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26816)
• United Kingdom
13 Mar 07
It's not hard to comprehend why English is probably one of te most difficault languages to learn and understand! So many foibles it's littered with idiosyncracies and complete madness. I sometimes wonder if the English language was created with someone who had a wicked sense of humour! Thanks for sharing, some great facts there my friend to digest x
2 people like this
@weemam (13378)
13 Mar 07
wolfie have you ever met or do you know someone with a really strong Scottish accent ( like me), and did you understand what they were saying pal ? xx
@wolfie34 (26816)
• United Kingdom
13 Mar 07
Yes, there is a guy who goes to my retreat and he has a very very strong Glaswegian accent, he talks so fast and I can never understand him. There are even different accents depending on what part of Scotland you are in x
2 people like this
@weemam (13378)
13 Mar 07
Glasgow is a bit harsher than Stirling pal , xxx
1 person likes this
@drakan291 (818)
• Ireland
13 Mar 07
Yes English is so weird. And it sounds so discusting compared to nice languges like French which sound very nice. But then again count your lucky stars that you don't speak irish!
2 people like this
• Ireland
13 Mar 07
Sorry about This being of topic but: OH YES!!!!!!! I REACHED 300 POSTS OH YEAH!
2 people like this
@weemam (13378)
13 Mar 07
good for you pal keep up the good work xx
2 people like this
• India
14 Mar 07
Hi !I am forthe first time reading ur discussion but its really pleasing that there arepeoplelike u in myLotwho are not only interested in money making but really want to discuss. Urs can be adjudged the best discussion among allthe discussions that i have come acrossso far. Yes!! ur question and observation is quite factual andits the thing that is making a lot of minds to turn over english.After knowing english its natural that one might arise these queries..and the best of professors will be unabletoanswer that..
2 people like this
@weemam (13378)
14 Mar 07
Thank you so much uramit , what a lovely compliment xx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23709)
13 Mar 07
lol - I would hate to have to learn this glorious language of ours as a second language! This reminded me of the ine about the linguistics professor who was lecturing his class one day "in English" he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negativeis still a negative. However, there is no language wherin a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
2 people like this
@weemam (13378)
13 Mar 07
lol would you explain that to me please . pmsl xx
1 person likes this
@crosa125 (1484)
13 Mar 07
that was great as you said english i the main language now but it's not easy,lucky you lazy people don't need to learn any
2 people like this
@weemam (13378)
13 Mar 07
lol cheeky , I am Scottish anyway not English xx
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
I have always been told by my non English speaking friends that English is the hardest language to learn.
2 people like this
@tad1fan (3373)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
This is awesome.....and so very,very true!
1 person likes this
@weemam (13378)
15 Mar 07
thank you xx
@greengal (4288)
• United States
14 Mar 07
LOL I had read this one before wee but thanks for refreshing my memory. The English language is surely the craziest. Earlier Rexy started a discussion why we say cup of coffee and glass of milk and why not vice versa.. glass of coffee and cup of milk do sound strange don't they. And also why are round pizzas in square boxes?lol Well though the language is crazy we still love it!:)
1 person likes this
@weemam (13378)
14 Mar 07
but be honest pal we are all a bit crazy on here :0 :) :0 and I am not even English xx
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
14 Mar 07
Well English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet and one of the hardest I must admit especially for non speak english people. It is a very complicated language English. Thank you for your discussion it was really great and I enjoyed reading this through and some of this discussion was funny as well thank you xxx
@weemam (13378)
14 Mar 07
Thanks pal xx
@diansinta (7551)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 07
aha! so english is not difficult after all!! its just twisted.hahahah
1 person likes this
@aissar (414)
• Malaysia
14 Mar 07
Lol good post. I read somewhere that English is the most polluted language on Earth. It has words from other languages, and there are very few native or original English words that originate from England. Many have disappeared into oblivion, and new slangs and terms are added every day. English is widely spoken, but I heard that truth is, the language spoken most in the world now is Mandarin. Why not? China has a population of 1,313,973,713. Now ain't that mind-boggling. Lol
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
14 Mar 07
I have enjoyed and like English as a language in my primary school days. Once literature was introduced as a subject which I gradually failed, my grade for English also drop drastically. I barely survived a botherline grade. It is only recently, when I was a Toastmaster, did I marvel at the wonders of the English language again. Yes, it is a crazy language as it allows one to play with it creatively.
1 person likes this
@marlyse (1056)
• Switzerland
14 Mar 07
that is funny yes and true too, but i think its weird because every english country has another english. but with the most words, that im not sure, because when you have german or french as first language, its hard to express what you feel, because we have a word for every single thing, in english it isnt so. had to search so many times for a word and didnt find it on english. but i agree, english is a good thing, because it is one of the official world languages, and it helps people from allover the world to communicate
@smkwan2007 (1037)
• Hong Kong
14 Mar 07
English - English is an international language. To me, it is not crazy, it is useful and fun.
Every language on earth has its own features. English is one among the many languages. It is popular because it has become an international language. Instead of crazy, I think English is a wonderful tool for conveying ideas. Words like butterfly, dragonfly are funny but their funniness makes me easy to remember them. So I like English. I like to use it to communicate and discover my thoughts in my mind.
• United States
14 Mar 07
english is a crazy language all the variences the different spellings for the same word. same word more than one meaning. am sure it is hard for others to learn.
1 person likes this
@mdarma (868)
• Singapore
14 Mar 07
Woh! that was great and your effort taken to do a research. Now, I can say, I am forgiven for not being able to write good English English or American English!!!! I enjoyed your article and do you know that I read it 3 times. Cheers weemam
1 person likes this
@Betso221 (1702)
• India
14 Mar 07
There is no other language in this world that is gonna take over this language "English", but i still feel it's one of the most funniest language in this world cause we can speel eny words eny way we want and we can also pronounce it the way we want. Enyways thanx for all that information that u have let u know about. It's really great to know something about languages. Thanks.
• Canada
9 Sep 07
You've put a smile on my face yet again weemam!! :) How true this all is though...our language makes absolutely no sense and I can add to this with the fact that we have words with two different meanings but they are spelled the same and spelling..."i befor e except after c" How does that make sense? Thanks so much for sharing this one with us! :)