child support!

@joluha (344)
March 16, 2007 3:23pm CST
Do you think child support is good idea or should be scrapped completely? You always hear about how the mother with the children never get any money but I don't understand - we pay child support and they cripple us with the amount we have to pay...we are left with the same money as if we were on benefits..how is it right that my husbands ex partner now has more money to live on than us. We also have child to support. Should there be a maximum amount set in place for everybody to pay?
6 people like this
27 responses
@syndibee (799)
• United States
16 Mar 07
child support is very important. that absent parent was there to create that child so that absent parent should offer that child living support until they are ready to support themselves. i think it's selfish for people not to expect to support a child that they were there to create. that said i also think the system of child support is abused by many. there are maximums and there are percentages that should be paid by each parent. i don't know the specifications and i know they are different from state to state..i don't know how it is in other countries. as for your husbands x having more money than you to live on we don't have all the details so can't answer effectively. how many children does she support as opposed to you and he? are all your children his? if not then does your childrens father pay support? does she work outside the home supplying some of her own income? we don't know why she has more money but i don't think you have any grounds to be bitter towards her with the money situation. it's not about her but rather about your husbands child.
@sunshine4 (8710)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I think that child support is a good idea. If the man is there to make the baby, he should be there to support the child. I think that all child support should be taken right out of the mans paycheck and put directly into the womans. If the man doesn't work, he should be home watching the kids so the woman doens't have child care to pay for.
2 people like this
• Australia
16 Mar 07
I think child support is a good idea, when a marriage disolves and the partners go their seperate ways the children are still there and need to be looked after by BOTH parents. When my hubby left i was left with the full care of our kids 27/7 while he was off partying i was at home looking after our kids. I dont believe that child support is fair all the way around as in your case, maybe you can have it reviewed and get a lower rate seeing as you have a child to look after at home also. I think that there needs to be a minimum amount set that must be paid, we have $5.00 per week here but child support never chase it up or penalise deadbeat dads or mums if they dont pay. I think that they need to take the other parents situation into account when determining the how much should be paid. My ex and his g/f tried to get my support reduced by saying that they spent $1000.00 per month on clothing and $600.00 on their car, hello i didnt even have a car and wasnt even able to have $100.00 a month for clothing for me and 3 kids, so i think child support needs to be careful and needs to look into scammers and genuine familys, i hope you can sort something out all the best.
• Australia
16 Mar 07
child support here is also worked out on how much time the other parent has with their children, the more they have them the less they pay, i think in most cases this is better for the kids coz at least they are getting the time which is better than money.
1 person likes this
@joluha (344)
17 Mar 07
My husband is not allowed to see his children - if he pays he should be allowed to see them.
• Australia
18 Mar 07
Why cant he see them, if it is because of the ex wife being nasty, then he needs to take her to court to enforce the visitation. No responsible , caring, loving, parent should ever be stopped from spending time with their children.
16 Mar 07
I think that fathers should be responsible for paying for their children, but I think it should be a fixed amount rather than more if you earn more. If the father wants to give more than that is fine. I don't think how much money either partner has should be taken into consideration or if the father has more children with another partner, ashe knew about his original kids when he made that decision so should have taken that income going to the other kids into account.
1 person likes this
@joluha (344)
17 Mar 07
What if the fathers new partner is the one who makes the money - the children are not her responsibilty?
@joluha (344)
19 Mar 07
I think you took that wrong..husband does work (bloody hard in fact) but if I earn well too they will take my money into account..this means that they will take more of his money because whatever he can't afford to pay in our household I would be expected to support him.
• United States
19 Mar 07
I receive child support in Ohio and here it is based on both parents income and since I don't work now that I am remarried , they don't use my husbands income. They take it as I make 50 dollars a month when they figure out how much he is supposed to pay. I am thankful they don't use my current husbands income because my son's dad would have to pay nothing.
• China
17 Mar 07
I think child support is really a good idea.We all hope that we can give our children the best things.Let them go to a good school,have good education,get exclent knowledge.If we have child support we can give our children all they need.
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3095)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I don't think it should be scrapped! I receive very little child support for my daughter, but honestly if he stopped paying I owuldn't care. I am in a much better stage in my life where I don't need his help. When I do get any money I always take it and spend it on my daughter, not bills or anything, it is more "fun money" for her. I am married to a great guy that takes care of us better than anything else!! I think there should be a maximun amount to pay though, but it depends on how many kids it is suppose to help support. I know in Texas it is a prcentage of the fathers pay, and it isn't much! But that is just my opinion.
@Garry_NEC (155)
• Canada
18 Mar 07
I think we as a society need to break this cycle of divorce all together. I mean divorce is fine and dandy, if there are no children involved. Our society is too obsessed on how WE feel. Forget the kids devolpment. Its all about the parent's happiness. I understand that children growing up in a home with unneccessary fighting can really screw a kid up...(so why fight at all, why do we need to scream and yell in the first place)--and i know, parents will make thousands of excuses (they are after all human) but the success and sanity of the children should be put infront of ALL your own desires. This may sound funny, but we control our feelings, they are OUR thoughts. How we react to a situation (or what we think of a situation) brings on our emotions. So if we thought differently of a situation, then our emotions would not be devastating when put in that situation. We all think generations before us were nuts, for just putting up with crap...we hear our elders talk about things in a such a calm matter (things that we would find insulting)-our elders learned how to think differently of a situation, so they didn't over react to a situation...and they did it, they put up with all the marital bull that we refuse to put up with...but they're hearts were in the right place, in the needs of the children...the fact of the matter is kids need a household with MOM and DAD...girls growing up without constant fathers become obsessed with male attention, men growing up with out mothers become too aggressive, and are more prone to criminal activity...the list gos on...Finally...We need to make grave sacrifices for our kids--we're screwing them all up as of right now (with 1/2 marriages ending in divorce)..but since its the norm, since society has accepted it, i guess its OK...???
• Canada
19 Mar 07
Yes you are right--kids are very smart and intuitive...they can feel when something is wrong...my theory is that children can pick up the frequency that our thoughts (negative and positive) emit very easily...Science has proven that positive thoughts emit a stronger frequency...so if my theory is correct...then changing our negative thoughts (in this case our spouse) into positive ones (easier said than done)-would therefor create a positive atmosphere and the children would know that. At the same time, since your thoughts are positive for the other person, a by-product of a happy relationship can be built, or unconditional love...obviously this can't be done with just one partner, it needs to be a team effort...and if one party is not willing to change their thinking patterns for the sake of their children's happiness (and proper development), then they are not really too concerned about the child's happiness as they are their own...No body controls our thoughts and feelings like we do...we just let external conditions, influence us (when in reality, we can chose not to)...i hope one day all of mankind can think like this, and get this world out of it primitive ages
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
I think that child support is fine...however I also think that there should be a maximum amount and that way everyone will be paying the same amount...which would cut down on the controversy...
@joluha (344)
17 Mar 07
I totally agree.
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
17 Mar 07
If it wasn't for child support, I wouldn't have been able to keep a roof over my kid's heads, or heat or food, or shoes and clothes for them. We went a year when he refused to pay a dime, even though it was court ordered, my kids are the ones who suffered. I didn't and couldn't depend solely on him though, I worked hard to give my kids a decent upbringing.
@joluha (344)
17 Mar 07
Funny how it works isn't it - we are probably gonna lose our house because of c.s and we can barely afford to feed and clothe the one we now have..c.s doesn't care as long as ex gets her money!
• United States
17 Mar 07
ABSOLUTELY! Child support is essential for care of the children. I am one of the unfortunate ones who has to deal with a deadbeat dad. It would be nice to have that bit of extra money to help me with school lunches, clothes for the kids, bills for daily living, and fun stuff. It took us both to make the babies and he should be equally responsible for caring for them. Our divorce decree says 50/50 responsibility for medical bills, college, and 27% of his salary which is a small price to pay for the health and well being of the children he fathered. He cant even do that. It is a good thing that your husband is paying the support that he is paying. Try not to look at it as a negative but rather as something good because he is helping to ensure that the circumstances in which his children live is just a bit better. Divorce is never easy for children and it is bad enough that they dont have their father 24/7 than to also deal with a father who doesnt feel that they are worth the sacrifices that he has to make as well. I would rather wear the same clothes for 10 years, not eat, and work 3 jobs if i had to just to be sure that my kids didnt suffer. A parent should always do whatever it takes to care for their children and if paying child support is part of that, then dont complain and be happy that the kids are being well taken care of...financially. how about if you got divorced from him? would you want child support? this is a touchy subject, maybe i should not have answered.
@joluha (344)
17 Mar 07
Glad you did answer - it is a discussion - that means hearing both opinions! It's a shame the children are not looked after properly, maybe if they were it wouldn't feel as bad.
@kylanie (1205)
• United States
19 Mar 07
I think there should be a set amount because I pay $99.00 for 1 kid and my husband pays$161.00 for 1 kid now you tell me what the difference is I am like you I was wondering but I think the judge only makes you pay what he wants you to pay because I have seen people pay alot more then that and what is also bad is when they call in the middle of the month and want more money.
@Anixie (89)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
child support is a good idea. Coz there are some women who sacrificed their work and part of their life just so they could take care of the kids. If the husband leaves, it'll be a bit hard to pick up where they left off of their careers in order to make money. The huge amount of child support should just be for a short while though, it should lower once the wife has time to recover.
• United States
17 Mar 07
It takes two to make a baby, it takes two to support a baby. The pay schedule should be according to the salary, and what the family is accostomed too. Yes, child support is a good idea, even though most people are not responsible and selfish, and won't do it.
• United States
17 Mar 07
I'm a single parent that receives on again/off again child support. My ex has complained that he pays too much. I know that raising my daughters costs a lot more then what his child support covers. I think child support is a great idea. My ex does NOTHING else for his children except the court ordered child support. In our state, there is an income comparison that is done, and child support is set on those guidelines. My ex has NO idea how much it costs to feed, clothe, provide shelter, rides, activity fees (sports, uniforms, etc.) My ex has even told his family he wants to ask me to stop the support (not!). His concern should be the child support he's paying to a different lady he had a one night stand with, and now has a 2 year old son. He'll be paying support on him until he's 64 years old!! That's karma!! :)
@avonrep1 (1863)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Child support is a very good idea. You are lucky, your husband pays his support. He take care of his. Many men out there don't. I have a child that has a REAL deadbeat father. I was 17 when I got pregnant, he was 26. I have been the adult. I am the person who has taken care of her finacally and emotionally. He was order to pay $40. a week. Our daughter is now almost 11 now and he owes over $22,000 in back support. He should have a federal warrant out for his arrest for this. But the city I live in hasn't filed it, because I have never been on assistance. In my hometown they only go after deadbeats when you are on assistance. Our daughter has health problems, and I can't afford to pay the medical bills, having to make small payments, but if I had the support that he is suppose to pay, then I wouldn't have any of the bills because I would have the money from his support to pay them. Child support is a nessacary, if you think it isn't, its because you most likely have never been a single parent. Or at least that is what I am assuming, because single parents releize how important child support really is.
@magikrose (5425)
• United States
17 Mar 07
It is the absent parents responsibility to take care of the child that they helped to make. I have 2 children by 2 diffrent fathers and I truly dont get a single penny from either of them nor do they send any gifts at christmas or birthdays. They dont visit or send any letters. If it wasnt for my current husband they wouldent have a father figure at all.
@emeraldisle (13158)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I don't think it should be scrapped but it does need some serious reworking. You hear a lot about abuse from both sides, the one paying and the one receiving. How the kids are always the ones short changed. They need to work it out so that the person that is paying is paying a reasonable about, so they still have enough to live on, and that the children don't suffer because of it. They also need to make it so that the one receiving the money is accountable for the money. Make it so they have to document in some way or another how they used the money for the child. It shouldn't just be here is the money do what you want with it. They should have to show that they are using it for the child. I know some will say well it can go towards the housing, electricty etc. Yes if they show that they would not be paying the same amount for those if they didn't have the child. For example if the parent receiving the money is paying $600 for housing (just random number here) then they should have to show that if they didn't have the child they would only pay say $550 and they used $50 of the child support towards lodging. Otherwise then it shouldn't be figured into the child support because it isn't going to support the child but the whole household and that is a big difference. It does need some major reworking because far too often there are some who are being ordered to pay more then they can while others who could pay more aren't. The system is not set up right and often mess ups happen. They need to look at each case and determine what is best all the way around for the children and the parents.
• India
17 Mar 07
money is man made....hapiness is something that is found within..children and their smiles are priceless....money comes and goes...god keeps all the accounts...just do good and good comes back to you...we are not here to prove it to people we are here only to prove it to god..ultimately god is the one who rewards us.stay calm and stay blessed.
@LeXDei (209)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
Being a parent, whether by accident or by choice entails a lot of responsibilities which include the obligation to give financial support to the child. This is so because it was never the fault of the child to be born in this world. The child should never suffer from the mistakes of his parents. In my country, the amount of support to be given by a parent is proportional to the amount which he is capable of earning. This goes to with the mother. Both the parents are obliged to support the child. Hence, the mother does not in any way acquire the money that is for the child.
@natrlvr2 (384)
• United States
17 Mar 07
My ex has ALOT more money than me.I live on disability and child support.He was to pay maintenace when we divorced but he lied about his 'entertainment' expenses.I do have to say, my ex will always work and he has not been late on any check for 7 yrs.(his employer is slow sending the money to the child support agency)