Are you kids embarrassed about you?
By yanjiaren
@yanjiaren (9031)
March 30, 2007 5:42am CST
I told my son in passing that I have a video singing on youtube guess what his reply was..'oh mum delete it I don't want tobe known as the son of a mad woman'..His father is a strict Muslim so for me singing publically it's a bit of a no no lol. I didn't want to say any thing but I don't like to hide things from him..Guess a big chunk of my life has to be separate..mind you he is not used to me getting a bit of the limelight as I was very insular and a stuck at home bossed around Mum..so He isn't used to the idea of my being independent. Do you ever have this kind of situation with your kids?
10 people like this
18 responses
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
30 Mar 07
I don't have kids so I won't know. But yes, I think I wouldn't want my Mum to be so "cranky" lol. :P
But I guess, since I am friend with you and not your son at this moment, I would say HAVE FUN! Life is short, PLAY HARD!!! :))))))
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
30 Mar 07
I may be arty farty and cranky in my life expression but I am not wild..I am very traditional in a sense that I don't smoke, or drink..I am a very homely person..don't go to strange places..I just need an outlet to express the depth of feeling in my heart..which I find easy throuygh singing and writing..I never had a conventional life but I can keep an orderly home but at the same time be able to express myself don't you agree? At the end of the day..he always comes to me with all his private stuff and wants me to watch all the manga things with him..and I tell him..just like I like to hear him rap..and am interested in the things he does..I don't expect browny points from him but I don't expect not to be tolerated either...I am no one's possession..I have had to learn that the hard way.so I have mylife with him..but I have a part of mylife that is mine that no one..including my Son has the right to deprive me of..If I was doing something really bad like drinking or gambling or going all over the place and neglecting my priorities..then I could understand..Whether I am in New York Or London..My house and work come first ..then I get time for my hobbies..I do have that right..I am tool artistic..I tried to supress all that and just be a doormat when I was married to his dad for eleven years..but couldn't take it any more..I was too stifled..One day..when He isolder..he will realise it..he's a young teenager and I know that age what it is like..You do get my point don't you though..
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
Sorry to hear about your son's reaction, yanny dear. In my case, my girls werenever embarrassed of me. I will bring them to my weekly ballet class which I've been a member since I was 5 years old. My girls will watch me dancing with a beaming smile. I think your son is at the age where he began to take stock of the changes in himself and his surroundings. It doesn't mean just because your son is embarrassed that he didn't love you. He might even secretly be proud of your achievement. Just give him time to get used to your passion for singing.
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
30 Mar 07
Oh I know lol..He is not used to that side of me..I will just not show him anything I do on youtube or otherwise..He will only know if He wants to, when he wants to but it won't stop me expressing myself..I have been controlled by male members of my family for too long..not any more lol..I respect their point of view but I won't be stifled..
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
I understand what you mean, yanny dear, But there is something inside of us that we yearn to do. I guess you can call it the wilder side of us. Being a mother is stifling us to the max. There's nothing wrong in trying to be wildddd from time to time...LOL!!! Enjoy while we're young.
2 people like this
@CatEyes (2448)
• United States
19 Apr 07
I still have a little one and hope that he does not act that way. I don't understand why he would be like that and hurt your feelings?? I know you love him very much, but sometimes it's better for children not to say things like that to their parents; even though they are grown up it does not mean the the respect needs to stop. Too funny though.
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
19 Apr 07
he has actually seen them now and rated me excellent on his youtube account and put one of my songs in favourites lol..though he said the red dress makes me look large lol hahaha
1 person likes this
@Bizziebod (3497)
•
31 Mar 07
Hi Ya, Luckily I had my daughter quite young, so am still quite young now she is 17! All her friends are jealous that we are so close and like the same music and clothes etc.. I suppose the only time I could say I would embarress her is when I do it on purpose for a laugh like getting out her baby photos and stuff!
2 people like this
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
30 Mar 07
I don't have kids so hardly concern about them getting embarrassed. I have a nephew , I love him a lot and I won't let him feel down anytime in life. I know even I have some choices but I can turn into clown if he wants. Love and I'm missing him.
@srinigunda (126)
•
30 Mar 07
ya..not simlar....
when ever we watch movies my son use to switch off the televison and forced us to play with him.
he want all our free time for him....after all his happiness is mine...so i also use to spend time with him...then he realise and switch on the TV and he play him slef....
that is my son...u know he is just 2 years old naughty..
2 people like this
@josephperera (2906)
• Sri Lanka
20 Apr 07
I don't have a prblem like that as I am a Dad and not a Mum. But there are many rich Muslims in Sri Lanka who marry a famous and beautiful actress for the sense of achievement and glamour. Either way it is the family that ultimately comes to the limelight.
@phon4u (2215)
• Laos
30 Mar 07
I have no experience with this kind, I am happy to hear it from you and other people sharing here.
Your kid like his way, I understand this.
I saw a kid said to a police (her dad) when her dad opened the water tap, the water spitted on her dad's face, she said out loudly that it served him right.
1 person likes this
@greengal (4286)
• United States
30 Mar 07
Aww yanji jon, I'm sorry your son didn't accept it immediately but I'm sure he will sooner or later. As you said may be he isn't used to that fact that mom has all of a sudden sprouted and become a star (you are one to me atleast!) Give it sometime and when you will become famous, he will be the one to be proud and say "hey, that's my mom!" Hugs dear!:)
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18278)
•
30 Mar 07
Excellent, I hope you play it when his mate's come round! he he he he he It's a great British tradition for parents to embarrass their kids
all the best urban
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
30 Mar 07
Religion aside - if that is the reason why your soon wasn't to happy about the video - kids tend to go through phases were they feel we embarrass them way too much:)
And I think I can understand that a little bit, they're still not mature or strong enough to disregard peer comments and jokes so they really try to avoid something that will bring any comments from their friends or enemies.
My daughter's friends seem to like me, and stop by to talk often, but still my daughter sometimes doesn't like that too much. She's afraid I might say something that will embarrass her :)
It usually is a phase and they will mature and accept us more or less as we are.
Hope you're not worrying to much about it, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't approve of what you do, more like he might be embarrassed if someone else finds it and makes a comment even if they don't know you personally.
1 person likes this
@beaniegdi (1964)
•
30 Mar 07
I think lots of children are embarrassed about their parents, I think it is natural to go through this stage, when he is older he will probably be bragging to his friends that his mum did this. Do wht feels right for you.
@raydene (9871)
• United States
31 Mar 07
As a parent I have embarrassed my kids many times ,some of which I did purposely!
It's just how it is...Kids always think they know more then their parents until something goes wrong...then it's...Mommy,help!
I think it's wonderful that you are doing what you're doing.You are living to your potential...Good for you
@mansha (6298)
• India
31 Mar 07
Many times when we are forced to observe some rituals we are taken for granted. I have seen this happen to my sis in law (my brother in law's wife)she lives with my mother in law. My ma in law is very strict and wants us to live in middle ages by observing purdah and not venturing out of the house not sitting near th windows or balcony etc. Keep ourselves busy in home tasks. I escaped because I live in a different city with my hubby duie to his job but when I go back to visit her I also have to observe all this. My sis in law has to observe all this regularly so I have seen her kids talking back to her disresectfully as she is a no entity for them. someone with no authority and individuality of her own. My brther in law used to treat evry woman like that so I never gt along with him. Thankfully my hubby does not have this trait in him. I don't know if I could have taken this from him. probably would have left him ages ago.
@gemini1960 (1161)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
i dont remember a thing which cause my children to feel embarrass on what i do lately..i sing but not professionally..
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
I'm lucky my little girl is just 5 years old and isn't old enough to feel embarrassed with whatever I do. :) But I know in time I will encounter a situation just like yours and I don't think I will be offended by it. Right now she loves whatever I do and even requests me to sing all the time. I often hear her say "I wish I can sing well like you do, mom". But let's see after a couple more years if she'd like the idea of me singing in YouTube! Oh well, I think it's a cycle. We all have our moments of being embarrased in some way with what our parents do, which does not necessarily mean we love them less. Now it's our turn to experience it with our own children. Argh! :)
