Has a friend ever betrayed your trust?

The story of a MOS burger - A picture of a MOS burger.
Singapore
March 30, 2007 2:43pm CST
I was thirteen that year. Or as some people would say - young, innocent and naive. Now that I am twice as old, I can perhaps tell you the story of a MOS burger. That year, it was the first of my four years in secondary school. I was fortunate to know someone who subsequently became my "best friend". We were very close and we told each other things we would never tell others. We exchanged regular phone calls, met earlier before school to chat, and loiter together after lessons. I am not sure if you have come across MOS Burger. It is a fast food restaurant from Japan that makes finger-licking burgers http://www.mos.co.jp/english . They opened their first branch in Singapore a walking distance from our school. It soon became our favorite spot. One day, he told me that his Dad lost his job. He was the only breadwinner of the family. It was a sad state of affairs and he had to forgo his allowance. Being his best friend, how could I bear to see him starve? We continued to patronize Mos Burger, but instead of paying for just my share, I ended up paying for both. And me being the generous me, I would add side dishes as well. How much does a 13 yr old kid get anyway? We went to MOS Burger every school day for a few months. During this period, I exhausted my allowance and practically cleared out what little savings I had. The routine would be that we both entered the restaurant and he will just go reserve a table while I ordered food. Initially when I still had money, it was alright. But later on, I had no choice but to remark to him that I was running out of cash. Guess what he told me? He said that actually, his situation had already improved quite a while back. His Dad had found a job and he was in fact getting more allowance than before. Yet he did not tell me. He deliberately withheld it from me. There I was like an idiot, paying for a dear friend who had nothing to eat. No, he did not pay me back any money. Yes, he was accumulating a tidy sum in his bank. It wasn't April's Fool but I was sure a fool at sweet thirteen. He was the first real friend I had, and he betrayed my trust. Have you had such an experience before? When you trusted someone so much only to realize that he had been having you on? Do share your thoughts. PS.: This discussion is dedicated to Rexy_leigh who wanted to hear a sad story from me. :P
22 people like this
50 responses
@Marie2473 (8521)
• Sweden
30 Mar 07
actually I was very betrayed by a friend of mine. it might sound very classical - but i actually walked in on my bf and her doing the nasty - in my bed. I was shocked and i just left the house again. I am glad I did coz if I would have stayed i probably would have killed both of them. she was not my best friend - but she was a friend and I actually never got over that betrayal. I still think about it today and every time I see her - on the bus for an example - i feel like punshing her in the face...
5 people like this
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
30 Mar 07
So you lost two friends at once. I am sorry to hear that. But the truth is that neither were truly friends in that case.
4 people like this
• Canada
30 Mar 07
It hurts Yes and I totally agree friends like that who would need an enemy ?
3 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
It is so horrible... I hope you got over that experience. If I were you, I would probably have killed them already. I think your bf is the one who betrayed you "more" in that case. That girl is just a normal friend so I think the hurt will be less.
1 person likes this
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I am sure it happened a time or two. However upon finding out that is happened similar to this I would then say 'well, now then you hand me xx.xx dollars and we will be even'. Most of the time it is dealt with and then you move on. Friends hold each other accountable.
5 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
At least you are magnanimous enough to move on. Not bad. :P
1 person likes this
@breepeace (3027)
• Canada
31 Mar 07
More times than I can count, my friend. The year I was 13, I was in grade 9, and hanging out with a tight-knit group of friends I'd acquired the year before. The group was pretty well run by a girl named Jessica who had been friends with most of the girls since childhood, but myself and a girl named Rhonda joined them when we all ended up in the same homeroom. This year was also the year my family was having awful trouble with weird, hillbilly neighbours threatening to kill us and all our animals late at night when they drunkenly called us. My parents were panicky and desperate to move, but they couldn't find anything that was quite right for our family and situation in the area we were in, so they started looking in other towns. I told my group of friends my parents were looking at us moving away, and initially, everyone seemed quite distraught. Months went by and my parents would find a promising prospect (which I'd share the news of with my friends) and something would fall through. Everytime this happened, I would mix between being elated at not having to leave my friends, and disappointed we still didn't have a place we could finally call a home. One day my parents went to look at a house an hour away from where we lived. I'd be switching schools and everything seemed very promising. My parents got financing set-up, put our house on the market, we went and visited my new school and I told my friends that this was it. We were really leaving. 2 weeks later, my mom met a neighbour to our new home who mentioned our new home was a haven for hunters, and that with dogs (that from a distance could be mistaken for wolves or coyotes) we ought to be very careful as they'd shot the former owner's horse by accident 2 years prior. Mom and Dad backed out. They had 3 children, 10 dogs and 2 horses and they didn't want to take their chances, so they looked at another place (something closer) and withdrew their offer. I called all my friends that night and told them the good news. We weren't moving away! The next day I got to school and found the words 'Just leave already, B*&%ch' on my locker. My friends were a little further down the hallway and they all started giggling when I read them. I walked over and they all walked away from me. Rhonda called me that night to apologize and tell me we couldn't be friends anymore because Jessica was sick of me talking about moving and not following through. As if I had any power over it! Last year I also had my best friend of 7 years rip me off of several hundred dollars in bill money he owed me when he lived here. He was putting the money up his nose or using it to buy gifts for whatever man he was currently dating and was always perpetually broke when I asked him when he could pay me.
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Gosh... I am sorry to hear that. I think your "friends" were really immature... yet then again, we were all young. How mature can anyone be at 13 anyway? I hope you have moved on in life and not let that episode affect you adversely.
1 person likes this
@breepeace (3027)
• Canada
31 Mar 07
It made me think a lot more. Since then I've been a lot more apprehensive about hanging out with women. It was the first time I really ever had a group of women to hang out with, since most of my neighbours growing up were boys. Also, since, I've had other female friends that stabbed me in the back, but aside from the one friend I mentioned at the bottom of the post, I've never had a male friend take advantage of me or use me in any way. At least not out of malice. Women tend to be catty. Growing up around guys, I never learned to be catty like that.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Mar 07
I trust people as far as possible. when they have demonstrated and they deserve more, I always give them more. till then I am polite but slightly reserved. There are two people who I trust completely without any place for doubt- my dad and my wife. They are the first people I run to with good news. They have never let me down and are always there for me when I need them. My bro - call mr.XQX, is one who betrayed me.We have known each other very closely, we helped each other, we have cried on each other's shoulders, we have laughed n number times together, we shared our lives together in the dangerous tidal situations. the best part that turned worst being he helped me in buying a land and get teak plantations done, looked after too. but later i realised he sold the ground water from my land to to a builder for three months, later sold the hand pump and even went to the extent of cutting down some trees without my knowledge. he always told to get the land fortified and promised to do the needful. it was on my personal visit i ca,me to know the realities. and that was it. how do you expect me to react to this betrayal?
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Aw... you were so close... how can he do this to you? :/
1 person likes this
• India
31 Mar 07
thats what boggles me still. just planning to dispose off the land before something else happens
1 person likes this
@DeaXyza (577)
• United States
30 Mar 07
Oh Wizard that is so sad! :..( I have had bad experiences, just like you but what I did was chopped the friendship and never looked back ( but it did take me months to get her off my mind as we were so close, like twin sisters and nearly everything reminded me of her!). I had a backstabbing, untrustworthy friend once long ago ago and I learnt so many valueable lessons from her, that till date I keep them in my brain's databank to remind of who not to have as a friend. Life gives us hard lessons but if we can remember them then they are the best lessons, even if they are heartbreaking ones.....
4 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
When you used the word "chopped", I almost thought you chopped that person up. :P
2 people like this
@DeaXyza (577)
• United States
31 Mar 07
in my mind wizard in my mind....
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Mar 07
I have been betrayed more times than I can count and only one betrayal came out as a happy ending... I of course have a soft heart and will help people I think are my friends even when I don't have a penny to share I would starve for them... the first betrayal was for four years when a girl I thought was my frind would be great to me one week and physically hurt me the next... then in grade 10 there was a girl who for an entire semester was my best friend and after she passed science (thank to me) turned on me and another girl who would act like my friend in private but when others were around she riduled me and again physically hurt me (we are now best friends and she feels sooo bad for it) then there were a series of people I helped who ended up screwing me over in the money department, the ones that lied, the ones that stole... it was no wonder when I met my current group of friends that I couldn't trust them right away but they have proven themselves to me... but fact remains I am still distrustful of most people and even now every once in a while I wonder when my current friends are going to hurt me but deep down I know most of them will not... it also caused problems with getting a bf because I do not trust people enough to go out and meet them... dont let what your so called friend did to you ruin life... there are lots of great people out there and if you let it ruin you then you'll end up like me bitter and distrustful of almost everyone
4 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Physically hurt you? Aw.. :/ It has been 13 years.. I have long moved on. :P
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
30 Mar 07
No I have never been betrayed like this before and I can only imagine it would hurt both the allowance and your feelings. I don't agree that you were an idiot, you were doing the best you could to convert a bad situation into something positive. I also don't think you were a fool you were being a friend. I do however believe that your so called friend will one day get paid back for the dirty deed he played on you, at which time the smile will be on the other side of the face. Thank You for being an caring and considerate person, I think the world needs more like your kind. Take care
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
I wouldn't really go so far to say it is a dirty deed - but more like he was profiting at my expense. PS.: I notice your rating dropped again. I am going to go through your postings again and give you many pluses. After I clear my email notifications. :P
1 person likes this
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
30 Mar 07
former friends often have but then I just move on because it is better to learn and live then to fight with the injustice.
4 people like this
@catcai (1057)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
Yes, I have been betrayed a friend whom I thought was my friend. Until now, I still find it hard to forgive him and to let go of that past. I just couldn’t imagine that of all people he would plot something bad against me. His betrayal has pushed me into depression and anhedonia. Because of his part in the breakup- I completely lost trust in anyone. He was my ex’s best friend, and I thought he was my friend too because we belonged in 1 group, we were classmates since college and it was him whom I confided into every time me and my ex were having a problem. I completely trusted him; I guess I trusted him more than my ex. I still couldn’t believe that he could do such a thing to me; it really did hurt me a lot. When we finally saw each other again just last year, I told him that I had a grudge against him- and he was surprised, he said he didn’t mean for things to go that way. Nevertheless I still felt betrayed. I'm sorry I can't completely share the complete details because it’s such a long story...
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
I understand your reluctance... :/
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 07
In 1999, a year I call straight from he** seriously sucked for me. I was friends with an email set of pals (not related) We will call them BW (the guy), K for the one girl and B (for the other girl). First off I was friends with BW for a while. He had for some time been saying he loved me on emails and by phone if he called. But we were just friends. My friends & family made me question if he was something more than friends only. So I thought I might like him more. I told this in secret to the girl K. Then something happened, a flood, and BW was depressed and wrote me. In an effort to get some extra prayer I forwarded his email to K and and my sister too. K began to write BW for about 2 wks. She never told me this. And he never told me either. Suddenly BW tells me that K told him that I like him more than a friend. I confront K. K gets mad, and she leaves me as a friend. In the mean time BW on phone and email decides I am NOT telling the truth. He decides to trust K whom he knew for a few weeks instead of me whom he knew for at least a year. In the end I leave BW as a friend. I have lost their trust both of them. I am hurt. In the mean time B another girl not in that whole relationship issue. She decides our email friendship isnt worth anything. She makes up a girl whom she pretends is a real person so that she and me have something on in common. She then tells me that she was lying and then that her parents told her she cant be friends with me anymore. She leaves me. She comes back once more. I cant trust her. Then she leaves me again this time same reason. A year later she finds me and trys to write me. I ignore B. In 1999 I lost 3 email friends, all who lost my trust. Since then I have realized I trust too easily and have tried to keep from doing so. Again I have befallen many a trusts in other people too. I know what its like and I am sure it will happen again. I hate it but its true, some people CANT be trusted!
3 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Gosh.. what a complex relationship. Unfortunate that it turned out this way. :/
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
30 Mar 07
No I have never come across MOS Burger. Oh but this is dreadful what you friend did to you and he should of spoken up earlier when his situation improved that is not a real friend. No I have never had that happen to me but I have had an incidents where a friend betrayed my friendship they had no where to live and so I told them they could come and live in my home and when they did they sold my items including my television set I did not notice it at first due to it was where it was but that once was a blank television set and I only found this out as one day when I did want to watch my television. Oh boy trying to help out others when they do not appreciate what you do for them it does harden our hearts for awhile but that particular friend I will never be friends with again.
3 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
They sold your TV? What the @%@%@?!!!
1 person likes this
@Rexy_leigh (1189)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
Oh my! Am sorry to hear that lordwizzy... :(( I didn't mean to trace back those sad trails you've gone through. But I know the lesson you learned from that is worth more than the dollars you've spent for that traitor. Charge it to experience, as I've also been telling myself when I had an experience quite like yours. You've gotten my hanky all wet here. :P
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Ha! No reimbursement for your hanky! :P
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
First of all,I hope you didn't stay with that so called friend! Secondly,I have been betrayed not only from so called friends but from family as well. I still have trouble trusting people. It doesn't matter if they are family or friend.I have had people tell me i need to get past that but it's kind of hard to trust anyone when a person gets burned every time he/she starts to trust someone.
3 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Things went on fine, I forgave him (look how stupid I was)... and we only stopped being close friends (no more contact now) after we moved on to junior college and were in different colleges.
1 person likes this
@hezoid (2149)
30 Mar 07
I've had pleanty of so-called friends betray my trust in the past, in many ways. That's why i find it so hard to trust people these days, and why i have very few close friends. I think trust/honesty is the most important thing i look for in a friend. If a person doesn't have those qualities i regard them merely as an associate or acquaintance, not really as an actual friend. Sadly they seem to be rare qualities to find in people these days.
3 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
I agree. Trust and honesty are very important.. but they are sadly hard to find today.
1 person likes this
@feralwoman (2199)
• Australia
30 Mar 07
Hi there, what a sad and fantastically written story - as usual! LOL. Fortunately, *thinking back* no I haven't had such an experience of betrayal from a best friend. I guess I always keep part of myself very private and locked away and never totally open up to anyone. All part of being a secretive Scorpio I suppose. My best friend is also a Scorpio and she's exactly the same! LOL
3 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Hey, don't use "story"... using "story" just feel as if it is made up. That "story" was real. *hurt* :P
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
yes Part 1 http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/915217.aspx Part 2 http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/915228.aspx It is long
3 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
I am sorry to read about such things happening to you. :/
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
yeah I do face cheater friends when I was school.It happens everywhere.I hate that kind of persons and they are not trust worthy any more.
3 people like this
@rainbow (6763)
31 Mar 07
Poor Wizzy, that is so sad! This person wasn't your friend in the way you thought and as a first really close friend must have been a terrible blow for you. My older sons father came to live with me, I was working and he was not so I was out all day. We were really happy until the day I came home to an empty - furniture free bungalow at 6 months pregnant, he'd left me and gone back to his ex wife who he hadn't had any contact with for 4 years and who lived a long way away. If this wasnt bad enough, I went out and bought second hand furniture ect to get me through and soon after my son was born the bills started to land. There was £22,000 debt in my nake that I had no idea about but as it was only in my name and as I had a child with this person I felt I couldn't take him to court for fraud. Almost 8 years later I am still paying for meeting this man. The only bright point is that 3 weeks after he left I met my current partner who would never behave in that way and moved in about 4 years ago when we decided to have another child - he's far better for me, lol, even when he's a pain in the bum bless him.
2 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
I am glad for you, my friend, that things did get better. ;-)
2 people like this
@rainbow (6763)
2 Apr 07
Thanks sweet, it's hard to trust sometimes isn't it? I hope this didn't have a lastng effect on the way you see our world.
2 people like this
• Singapore
2 Apr 07
I am a nihilist, what do you think? :P
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Mar 07
I have had the fortune of coming across something not so similar but, it was not to long ago when it all happened. I think I was only 9 when it all started. I think I was at home when it all began not knowing to much about appreciating everything that life had to offer. My father love to play games especially mind games where he would test your ability to be able to except the dangers of life or your mental state. Anyways as the story goes he would often follow me around trying to control all the things i had wanted to achieve, you know what all kids try achieve, being a kid. He would often make me feel very upset and I would never understand why he would do this. But long story short he would also entice/ manipulate others to participate constantly involving themselves into my everyday life. Wanting to know where I was going and who I was doing whatever with or without. Without any kind of notice these events stopped. Seven to eight years later it would start again,.. this time I was ready for it. Prior to the second round of humiliation I had made a vow to my mother that I would return the favour of humiliation that he was hoping to deliver to me on some sort of platter. Anyhow it's eight years later, and I had moved out of my mother home when i chose to play him at his own game. Why did I choose this method to get my point across, well he was always hard of hearing. I have learned that sometimes people don't want to hear the truth that could obviously save them from their own selfishness. As I was saying before going into detail,.. He again chose to invite others to play in his cunning ways of connecting with me. Embarrassing as it was to go through this sort of abuse I found myself to be, for the most part having fun, getting back at him. What he was doing was not because he couldn't connect with me but, he wanted to control everything I had desired but when I refused to do as he wanted. That's when things got interesting he would entice others to basically follow me, befriend me, and report back to him. This way it would seem like they were helping me gain self-esteem and then betray me when things didn't work out. I know what you're thinking "Why is this story such a great onë?". Well you see this story went on for another 15 years... yeah, I know what you thinking! You can read about it at www.jokesnewchuckle.blogspot.com I'm sure you'll love it,.. I know I had fun completing it! Let me break it all down for you in years. It first started in 1981 and then stopped for a period of 7-8 years, in 1988 it started again only to continue until I moved back home in 1991 and started again between '93-'94 and rolled on throughout until April 1, 2004. Which of course is a very long time for anyone to be in character. To this day, I don't think my father knew what really hit him. Do we at all get along,.. to answer that in one word... no! I had way to much fun getting back at him for his foolish game of deception.. if anything for a son wanting to break away from his father's shadow... any father would have been proud!
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
This is such a disturbing account of events. What kind of father are we looking at here? I am so sorry to read about such things happening to you. I hope it has not affected you... too much. :/
2 people like this
• Canada
1 Apr 07
Actually he was very twisted. Through his sort of pain and suffering I think he just lost all interest in being some positive role model. That's how it could be for someone who has been beaten down too many times. Whether this was suppose to bring me to the state of negativity that he is in now, No don't worry my head is screwed on right!
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6999)
• United States
31 Mar 07
Aww, sorry that happened te ye dearie. Um..yeah, actually I have. I've lost track lol. The main betrayal that sticks out most in my mind was by my now ex best friend Lauren..she was the girl my boyfriend at the time cheated with for a few days. She eventually broke down and told me, 'cause I had sensed them acting really strange..but I was a mess for a month..and the trust was broken..and not really completely fixed even at the end. For EITHER of them. To make matters worse, four months later when he broke up with me -- a day after I'd broken down in front of him..it was an episode triggered my my clinical depression _
2 people like this
• United States
31 Mar 07
oops.."real multiple personality"
2 people like this
• Singapore
31 Mar 07
Gosh... you mean he deliberately tried to make you crazy?!! Or that he has some dual personality disorder and one part of him liked you and the other liked your friend?
1 person likes this