Are you a stay at home mom or a working mom?

@miamilady (4924)
United States
April 10, 2007 12:15pm CST
Not to say that stay at home mom's dont "work". I know that they do. I am a stay at home mom. I have been for several years. It seems to me that in some cases, working mom's look down on stay at home moms and vise versa. If you are a "working mom", why do you work? Is it because you need the money to run your household or is it more for a sense of independence? If you are a stay at home mom, why did you make that choice? Do you have any regrets?
7 people like this
24 responses
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I am both. I stay at home in the afternoons when my kids are home from school and I work in the mornings outside the home to make some extra money teaching computer to pre-schoolers. Both are hard for different reasons. Stay at home moms often feel isolated from other grown-ups and it's a challenge to stay home day to day and keep organized when your kids are small. Working moms (those who work outside the home) have to deal with the guilt of being away from their children all day. Neither has the right to be judgmental of the other and, if anything, we should all be supportive of the choices we make because we want to or we have to.
@wendee (359)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
I would love to go back to work part time. But for me and my family it is just not possible. We have 5 small children and with child care I can not afford to go back to work. I love being a stay at home mom but wish that i had more adult conversation, which I guess where mylot comes in lol!!
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
10 Apr 07
I notice a lot of people saying about the lack of adult conversation. I get plenty of adult conversation because I take my youngest son to playgroups where I get to chat with other people in a similar position. This is why I say "full time mum" instead of "stay at home mum" because I am hardly ever at home. I find it hard to believe there are no such groups anywhere else.
1 person likes this
@wendee (359)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
Well, the summer will be better, at least for me. During the winter months it so hard to get out. My husband takes the vehicle to work so if I go any where we walk or take the bus.......hard to do with 5 little ones. But summers we can go to the park, the zoo, or just for walks. We love summer! LOL
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
14 Apr 07
I'm sure it is difficult to get about with 5 little ones. I've only got 2 and often have to rely on public transport to go anywhere as neither myself nor my partner have a car. We're quite lucky because we've got a few places within walking distance so it's not too bad.
1 person likes this
@cjthedog64 (1553)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I worked up until last December. I worked because we needed the money. Even after having DS (now 15 months old) I had to work. I got let go and am on unemployment. During this time it's been so great to stay home with DS, and I haven't had any luck finding another job. So we've decided that I'll start doing at home daycare as unemployment runs out. I'll be working and bringing in money, we won't have to pay for daycare for DS, and I'll be able to stay home and take care of some things during the day. I never imagined doing it because it wasn't feasible in the past, but I love being at home now and can't imagine going back to work. Strange how quickly things can change.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Apr 07
I work outside the home. I do this because I have to. We need the money. I've dealt with the guilt of not being able to stay at home with my son. It's not easy, but I've found that spending as much quality time as possible with my son when I am home helps both of us. I envy stay at home moms, but I would never judge another mother based on her choice to stay home with her child(ren) or not.
2 people like this
@design (848)
• Ireland
10 Apr 07
I'm a stay at home mum but I just went back to work last Thursday 3 nights a week doing bar work, It's my social life Lol, I love my kids to bits but I needed something to do other than sitting on my PC every night, I missed adult conversation (my Partner comes home from work and loves nothing more than channel surfing). Plus it gives me some cash which is great. So you a stay at home Mum, Are you thinking of returning to work? The only problem I found was I'm no longer trained to the standard now for office work, I studied Veterinary nursing over 10 years ago and couldn't go back to that either well certainly not part time and my garden's not big enough to rescue animals like I use to.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
10 Apr 07
I used to do bar work part time when my oldest son was a toddler. I loved it and, like you, it was my main social life! I wish I could do it again now as it would bring in a bit of extra money and I would get to do something for myself but my partner doesn't have a regular work pattern and often works evening and night shifts so I couldn't do that anyway even if I did want to leave my kids with someone else.
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I am a stay at home but I do sell on ebay to help make extra money. I used to work full time and was soooo jealous of those who got to stay home with their kids. I was missing so much. Finally, I decided we had enough income that I could stop my full time job. Little did I realize, I went from working 9-5 to well, all the time. I missed out on alot while working. I never looked down at working moms or stay at home moms but I seemed to always attract those who wanted to put me down. I had some people make rude comments about me working and not being a parent. Then, when I stopped working and a neighbor saw that & saw my husband still going to work, she stated "She makes him work because she just won't do it"....Your ****** it you do and ****** if you don't. Working moms and stay at home moms - do what's personally best for you and your family and tell everyone else where they can stick it. :-)
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
10 Apr 07
lol jenny. I attact those people too. It does seem that no matter what I do, someone is there to tell me I'm making the wrong choice. When I'm in the right frame of mind, I just tell myself that if it feels right in my heart, that's all that matters.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Apr 07
I am a stay at home mom because i havent had much work experience and We figure if i have a normal minimum wage job all it would be paying for is daycare and wouldnt help at all for the bills, and also I have a had 2 people i know where something really bad happened to their kids while under the care of someone else. Also my children are very young i have a 2 year old and an 11 month old and am 21 weeks pregnant, so they need me, also in my area the daycares dont take anyone under a year.
• United States
10 Apr 07
why I am a stay at home mom - my kids
I am a stay at home mom to 4 kids. 2 go to school and 2 stay home with me. next school year I will just have my baby here with me because my other 3 kids will go to school. I am about to start selling Avon. I use to work at a day care but when it was time to have my baby I had to quit because day care costs too much. My baby now is 14 months old.
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
10 Apr 07
The reason I stay home - Two of my 4 children.
I am a stay at home mom who works from home. I run an inhome day care. I chose to become a stay at home mom when my 2 yr old came home from the sitters house and said the F word!! I was mortified! We were not in any financial situation that I could just stop working, so with my decision to become a stay at home mom came my decision to open a day care in my home. I love it! My kids are all in school now, but I have been running my daycare for 15 yrs and don't want to stop. It is much nicer working from home. I also feel that moms who work outside of the home look down on me for running a day care. It is hard work, but very rewarding. I am here in the morning to get my kids on the bus and home when they get off the bus. I don't have to miss any sporting events that they participate in. I am home in the evenings for our family dinners. I think I have a great life.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jul 07
I became a stay at home mom after my first child was born 7 years ago, and have never regretted it. I couldn't stand my kids growing attached to a daycare provider and not me. I didn't want to miss the first steps, first words, etc. I do, however, miss the money I used to make and the recognition I used to receive. There will be plenty of time to work outside the home after my kids have grown, right now they need me. Another reason I stay home is the daycare cost around my town are so expensive I couldn't afford to go back to work.
• Philippines
10 Jul 07
i'm a stay at home mom for some unavoidable circumstances. i live far away from my mom and my in-laws therefore, i have no one to look after my kids. i have a maid around but i just cant leave alone my kids with the maid. being a atay at home mom is the most hardest job on earth. you see, we dont get any salary from doing so yet we devote our time to our family. we do our thing yet we are least appreciated. we are 24/7 on call duty. i think stay at home mom should get at least 85% of the credits.
@trk918 (254)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I work outside the home because I am the only provider. I was off work for 1 yr and loved staying home with my son. I would prefer to work from home and am still looking for something to make the transition. So far most work at home jobs just don't pay what I need to make.
• Philippines
10 Jul 07
I am a working mom. I would give anything just to be a full time home mom :) I am working to help for the family needs. It's difficult being a working mom and a mother at the same time but for economic reason I have to be strong and patient for now. In 2 years time we are hoping that I would stop working and become a full time mom.
• Malaysia
10 Jul 07
I am a housewife and I work all the time. I think I have more work than my husband. I do all the house chores. He doesn't even know how to wash his own plate. And he is a very lousy cook. I can hardly eat what he cooks if he decides to cook sometimes. But him, cooking, is a very rare incident and may happen only once in five years or so. That's what I think because he never cooks and never help me cook in the kitchen. Even though I stay at home, I have two active blogs. I am an affiliate to several selling companies and I think this is a nice job to be done from home. So it doesn't mean that being a housewife is just sitting around and doing nothing! Only ignorant people will say that.
• Philippines
14 Apr 07
i love to stay at home  - staying at home
I am a working mom but I don't look down on stay at home moms. I understand each of us have different different views on life especially when it comes to taking care of kids and family. There are certain things that stay at home moms can do that we working moms cannot, like spending full time with the kids and watching them grow. And I respect stay at home moms knowing they are devoting their whole time to their families. I chose to be a working mom because I find staying at home boring, although I like being with my son. Besides, I am enjoying the benefits of being able to earn my own money and to learn new things at work.
• United States
13 Apr 07
I'm a stay at home mom, and you are right about stay at home moms feeling insecure about what working moms think about them and vice-versa. I personally don't want anything bad to happen to my baby in someone else's care but more than that I dont want someone else raising my daughter. Thats just a personal choice. I consider myself lucky because a few months after I had her, I found an opportunity that has totally changed my life and allowed me to stay home with her. I feel so blessed and wake up everyday thanking God that this opportunity was shown to me. As for having any regrets abot staying home with her, I don't have any-- its the best thing in the world!!! If you're curious as to what I do in order to stay home with my baby.. then email me at lilhaasprincess@aol.com and I'd be happy to share it with you =)
@mememama (3077)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I stay at home, we decided that it's best for our family. When we first had my son, it was difficult since we didn't have much money. So we lived very frugally, home cooked meals, coupons, cloth diapers. Now we are better financially, I do have a hard time knowing that I have money, weird I know. I still do home cooked meals and cloth diaper, can't give that up ;) I'd have such a hard time dropping my son off at daycare. I really love staying at home. I think the only regret I have is that I didn't finish college, but I may someday when I'm done having kids and they are all in school.
• Philippines
11 Apr 07
Well, i guess it depends upon the situation you are in to. In the case of people living in the Philippines, both parents need to work hard to supply whatever the family needs. Depending on the Father alone will not give a usual Filipino Family any progress. On the other case, we Filipino's enrich our culture, and it is always said by our ancestors that Filipinas (filipino women) should stay at home, do the chores, and monitor the children as they grow with manners and respect for themselves and for others... In a woman's case, follow where your heart is. If she's an out going mom, then go, conquer the business and corporate world, but if she prefers being with her kids alone, well teach them to be better at home...
• United States
11 Apr 07
I am a working stay at home mom. I work inside the home as a transcriptionist. This gives me time to spend keeping up with my three teenage daughters. I have never worked outside the home while having children, but I certainly understand why some people need or desire to. Everyone's different. Viva la difference!
@chetnas (59)
• India
11 Apr 07
I like staying at home mom.She will at home Iam very happy because she makes extra things to eat.I afraid lonly staying at that time there is no tention.No responblity to me.When mom is going to office I don't like .I oto wait for her.And when with me he is shouting to me only without reson.