Are WE misconstrued as UGLY when we COMPLAIN or YELL at SOMEONE??

United States
April 10, 2007 5:11pm CST
The other day our female neighbor (who is young and beautiful) came over to complain to my boyfriend that our dog who was barking was disturbing her, when I asked my boyfriend what she looked like, he said that she was mean and very angry, he never mentioned that she was young, or blonde, or very beautiful. The other day when we were leaving our house I mentioned to him that our next door neighbor was in her yard doing some yard work, at that point and time he first saw her, he said how beautiful she was (which she is very beautiful) and that he did not remember her as being no pretty. My conclusion is are we misconstrued as being ugly when we are complaining to others??
3 people like this
9 responses
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I don't know this young woman, but during times of emotional outburst, that which is inside and ugly -- comes out! So the inside is not so beautiful and it shows on the outside! That's not to say she's not a nice person, but anyone who is hostile will be basically unattractive as they holler or berate.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12173)
• Sweden
10 Apr 07
yep. it just proves that beauty always lies beneath and not what's on the outside. we find people attractive especially if they are nice. and even if how pretty someone is but so annoying and really bad, we always feel she's ugly.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Apr 07
I have known several people who would be considered very attractive by most people but I knew them well enough to know how ugly they really were on the inside. To me it makes them very ugly on the outside as well.
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12173)
• Sweden
10 Apr 07
i think it depends on how we do the complaining issue. there are those who just yells and gets really mad... like fuming mad without thinking or considering the feelings of others. i say, they are not just ugly but horrible and scary sometimes. hehehe.
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11756)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I do think when we are angry, we come across ugly and unattractive to other people.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (96657)
• Marion, Kansas
11 Apr 07
You know, you are probably right, what we say, and how we say it, colors how we appear. I do not know if there is a good way to complain, that will keep us from appearing so ugly. I would say that if the dogs were barking and would not stop, she was justified in complaining, but even a complaint can be handled in a civil way. At least she did not call the cops. Dogs, however, will bark, regardless. Some people are just overly sensitive.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
11 Apr 07
I agree with you. People far too often can not seperatye what is being said or done, from appearance. In my opinion, people who have that problem, show a lack of character. WE must all make an effort to listen to what is being said, or observe what is veing done, & not let our judgments be influenced by a person's appearance. Too many wrongs have been done due that human weakness.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I honestly don't think it's misconstrued at all - what's inside does reflect on the outside. It's amazing how much more attractive a person is when they are smiling compared to when they are yelling, angry, or upset. I learned years ago that a cheerful positive person is going to appear more attractive than a negative, crouchy person and I've tested it out.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 08
With body language and facial expressions being the very center of true communication, yes we can take on a rather dis-pleasing look when faced with a situation that flares our adrenaline for it changes the contours of the muscles and makes smiles, frowns . . . sharing the light and happy holidays, Miss Erica Hidvegi, the Enlightenment_Advisor, B.A. Psych/M.A. Transpersonal Studies- Cnslng/Author, Artist, Photographer, Entrepreneur & Freelance extraordinaire
@gberlin (3836)
18 Apr 07
I think that they way we act determines how people view us. Someone who never smiles may be considered grumpy. I was once told that while I talk on the phone I should try to smile because it will be reflected in our voice and tone over the phone. I think they may be right!