Blind dates or friend set ups?

@jchampany (1131)
United States
April 13, 2007 12:03pm CST
My best friend, that I have known since I was 2, has set me up with her husbands good friend. I have only seen pictures of him and I don't think he has seen any of me. We have only been in contact by email so far but I am sure we will meet. I am a little afraid. Why, you ask? Well, my last relationship was really bad, My ex beat me and my son and I had to leave and move to a whole other state to get away. I just got custody (legal, I have always had her) custody of my daughter so he cannot take her. I get lonely and would like to have someone to talk to and share things with but am not totally sure I am ready. I feel like I am but second guess myself. A good thing about him is that he is a father also, that always helps. Single parents understand when situations with kids come up. I also know that my friend would not set me up with someone who is not a decent man and human being. It just feels weird, that I had to be set up. Has anyone here gone on a blind date or been set up by friends? What is your take on it?
3 people like this
5 responses
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
13 Apr 07
When I was 24 I set my best friend since 2nd grade up with a guy I had dated in high school. They have been together for almost 8 years now, and probably would never had looked at each other twice had it not been for me seeing that they could potentially be good for each other. People can see things in you that you don't, and if I were you I'd say go for it, no harm in meeting each other! This could be a fresh start for you! Congratulations on getting custody, it sounds like you had a good Easter gift after all!
@jchampany (1131)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Yes, I got a great present. Thanks. How are you doing? Did you read my post for your daughters teacher?
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
1 May 07
Thanks for the best response, and I did read your post!
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23709)
15 Apr 07
hope you don't mind sweets but I want to veer away from your question a bit! I was in a very similar situation when my son was a lot younger and my biggest bit of advice is to follow your gut instinct! I had a couple of relationships but did not have them coming around my kids - I felt they had been through enough uncertainty without seeing men come in to my life and that maybe it wouldn't work and they would become confused! When i met my partner we had been coworkers and friendly for about 6 months before starting a relationship - he had no children - but was always honest and open with me! My son was only just turned 4 when we got together and they have a wonderful relationship too! Go with what you feel honey - if you are ready then go for it if not don't be afraid of having male friends! Do not let fear make you put your life on hold! You will meet the man of your dreams when you are least looking for him and it could very possibly be ion a blind date! xxx
1 person likes this
@jchampany (1131)
• United States
16 Apr 07
I don't mind you veering away mummy. I appreciate all the advice I can get. I do feel like I am ready to start "dating" someone. I agree completely with you about bringing someone around my kids. I won't do that until I know it is really serious. I don't want to confuse them either.
1 person likes this
@crazylady (471)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Two people have tried to set me up in the past, and one was right after a terrible heartbreak and I was afraid I would hurt the guy, so I cut it off. But he was probably perfect (yeah right!) The other guy my sister set me up with...um, I bet he is still single. Everything about him was repulsive. And she kept telling me "he's such a nice guy!" and I said "then you go out with him!" Now on the other side of the coin, I have a friend who married a guy that she was set up with- and they have been married for about 5 yrs now, and really love each other.
1 person likes this
@jchampany (1131)
• United States
13 Apr 07
Yeah, I know what you mean about hurting the guy. Although most times I feel like I am ready to date again. I have been on a few dates but the guys were just not for me. They weren't rude or mean or anything, they just really weren't my type. I still talk to them but not on that level. I would really like for this to work out. I know my friend really knows me and I think she has a good idea of what I would like and not like.
@massageeh (966)
• Taiwan
14 Apr 07
There is no shame in getting set up and looking around. But, you should keep your options open. You don't want to seem too desperate. If your friend is a good friend, trust them, and let them know what kind of man you're looking for. That would be a start. I am a man and I got set up a few time. It didn't work out because we didn't have anything in common, but we did have fun and became friends. So, go for it have no fears. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3095)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I met my husband on a blind date!! I feel so weird saying that but I did!! He worked with a guy (they are in the military) and I worked with his wife and I made the comment one day about needing a responsible guy...so she went home and asked her husband if there were any single guys in his shop. And that is how we met...we all went out for a group dinner....and here we are 5 years later =) I had a daughter and he did also and now we have a son togehter. It was nice since we had both been through a bad relationship so we really understood each other on alot of relationship type issues and feelings. I say go for it!!!