I feel useless as a person, now that my kids have gotten older

I think that is a common feeling especially with women, it is a big change but I guess it is just a matter of re adjusting your life a little and hope that you will have a new life of just playing with grandchildren... you just have to learn to live a little differently I think..

Yes sweetie you are still an important fact the support system when you not their the go hay wire. I though those were the years parents dream for well at least for me since my son is 21months and he still needs me do to alot . My greatest joys is seeing him trying to be independent like yesterday he put on his shoe corectly just needed my help in lacing it up. TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK! Go for pedicure even homemade SLEEP, READ take class never to old to learn, take up dancing,computer, a social club it's your time now well you still have some little one's though but dont humbug them, they do need their space../

How dare you sit there and say how useless you are, why, do you realize how important you are to the rest of us? We need you to babysit our kids, to help in bake sales, to smile at us at yard sales, to help our elderly, to donate your time to teach us motherly things so we can teach our children, to make us laugh when you tell us jokes, we need you to keep watering those beautiful flowers we see as we drive by your house, to smile at us at the local checkout, to donate your old clothing so the homeless can feel proud, why, just think how wonderful your life will be when you get hugs from your kids and eventually hold your first grandchild, USELESS??? No one is useless! Always remember this: Just your smile, can make someone elses life happier!

Well heres another at to look at it and this is my opinion, as a neutral independent person. You are a woman who has accomplished a great deal, you are obviously a devoted, caring and loving mother, who has gave birth and raised 4 children, no mean feat giving how much trouble my mother has with us two ;) Im sorry your feeling depressed, but, if its feeling "needed" or wanted, your children will always still need their mother, regardless of how old they are. Why not seeing as you seem to have a little more free time, start socialising? Find a hobby or expand on a exisitng one, have a coffee or lunch with other mothers. Join a gym, that would be great, it'll help release endorphines, boost your confidence, and also help you meet people. Oh and light exercise is great for depression! I'll say a prayer for you. :)

I think it's a pretty normal reaction to your children growing up. If these feelings are so bad they keep you from doing things, then perhaps you need to talk to your doctor or a therapist. If you are just reasonably sad, perhaps volunteering somewhere would help you feel better?

My mom is the most important person in the world to me. Even though I am 21 married, and have a daughter I still need my mom every bit as when I was a baby. I call her everyday . I tell her everything and I am still scared I may get in trouble for doing things. I know that doesn't answer you question, but I thought it may help for you to realize you kids still need you no matter how old they are.

Moms are always needed. My mom passed away 4 years ago and I wish she were still around. Don't feel useless. Your kids still need you no matter how old they get. They just need you in different ways. Once a mom, always a mom.

It's normal to feel that way because kids who have grown up into teens and young adults tend to less likely "need" their parents especially in the physical sense. However, this doesnt mean that you are not important already or that your role has ended because however old they become, they will still get to "need" you emotionally or mentally. If there may come a time that one of them experience something really bad or something they feel that they cant handle, im sure that you will be the one they turn to. Plus, your kids may not need you constantly anymore but you should not feel useless but instead be proud of what your children have become to be because of you.

One reason why I am hesitant of giving up my job is the fear of feeling useless. I know I'd feel empty and useless once I stay home. My kids need me, but I know that as they grow up, they will need me less physically, and I'd be left at home. We need a life, too. And I am vulnerable to depression, so I always tell my husband that it won't do me good if I don't have a day job in an office. As for you, I think it would be best if you find something that interests you that will fill your spare time when your kids aren't around - it may be taking aerobics classes, cooking, or you may find a regular job. Activities will help you set aside your worries and thus, minimizing your depression. Feeling helpless and doing nothing won't help. And it won't help with your depression. Find something that will take your valuable spare time.

I remember when I moved out and stareted a family and my sis went away to college my mom saying she felt this way. Your kids don't need you any less they just need you in a different way. It's not so much the physical now as it is the emotional needs they have. If you need to fell more fulfilled use your motherly expertise and volunteer! Contact your local court system and find out about becoming a child advocate for a child that needs help, there are several agencies that would love to have you halp a child that has been abused and needs support during the court process. Or find a job as an aid at a daycare, the possibilities are endless. This wasn't meant to invalidate your feelings in any way, but take those negative feelings and turn them into something positive!

I don't know how it feels like when my children will be as age as yours. My daugther now is only 4 yrs old and as much as possible I hug, kiss and let her feel that I am there for her anytime she needed me. They said that once a child is being loved by their parents they will love you still in return eventhough they are older. If that's the case right now all you have to do is find something you can enjoy by your spouse. Go on vacation, or find a part time job where you can take care of them as well as to ahve income for yourself. Or if you don't like you can sit down with them and talk to them, a heart to heart talk I guess and let them know what are you feeling towards them. It's a matter of first step. All will just follow later. Don't feel depressed, God is always around who NEEDS you. HE's just a prayer away. God bless! :)

Trust me your kids will always need even after they leave the house.My folks live down the road and they still do things for me.I do alot of things for them too.Try and find some activities to keep you busy.