Could you handle living next to your mother-in-law?
By snoopy04
@snoopy04 (718)
United States
July 10, 2007 2:35pm CST
How many women could handle living next to your mother-inlaw? Well I live right next door to mine and sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. My husband and I are working on fixing our home up so we can move out to the country and put some distance between us. My friends tell me it isnt that bad but they dont know this woman. She is always putting her nose in where it doesnt belong and if we purchase an item she tries to make us feel guilty about it. The one thing that drives me is crazy is she tries to be my mother and tells me how to raise and displine my kids. Well my mother is deceased and I am not looking for someone to take her place. She tells me evrything that I do wrong and makes me feel like a idiot. My husband has tried to talk to her about it and I have tried as well. But she gets offended and tells my husband I am turning him against him.
So how would you deal with your mother-in-law if she acted this way and you had to live right next door to her?
4 people like this
12 responses
@cutepenguin (6430)
• Canada
11 Jul 07
I would do what you are doing - I would move.
To be completely honest, right now, I would not move next door or within walking distance of my in-laws. She means to be nice and doesn't think she is interfering, but she can really be smothering. She thinks we can only be happy if we are doing things th right way - her way.
With just a bit of distance in between us - a 45 minute drive - she isn't entirely happy but she can easily see us, and we can live our own lives.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
11 Jul 07
No way!!! I want to stay as far away from my family as possible, when I am in my own home. I don't need to be around all of those people who know everything about me. That situation would remind me too much of the American show "everybody loves Raymond."
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
11 Jul 07
I could never live next to my mother-in-law. There is no way!! I have no advice, but save,save,save!! That way you can get your house in the country.
1 person likes this
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
11 Jul 07
Living with a mother in law has never been an option to me. I can never tolerate if I live together or next door to my mother in law. There will always be disputes, disagreement and dissatisfaction. You were raised by your mother, and not your mother in law, that's why your views and hers are definitely different. You action of fixing your home so that you can move to the country is a great idea. This way you can learn how to be independent and make your own decisions. You can visit your mother in law during weekends if you want.
1 person likes this
@djbizmonkey34 (633)
• United States
11 Jul 07
lol funny you should meantion that. My realtor called the other day and said he found a nice house that would be perfect for me and my husband. The only problem is that its right across the street from my mothers house. I told my husband about it and he looked at me with the most evil look. Needless to say I think we'll pass up on that house. lol
1 person likes this
@archie20 (39)
• United States
10 Jul 07
Oh my God . You must feel like Debra. You know no amount of kissing up with MIL will help. She will never see how much effort we put into it. You know the best approach is to say BACK OFF. Hey i did to my SIL. She is a witch.I am glad i did.Its the best approach.
1 person likes this
@jbb316 (1779)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I would lose my mind. I could not ever live next door to my mother in law. My husband tried to talk me into it when we first got married and I had to put my foot down. My mother in law is loud, obnoxious and says exactly what she thinks. None of her daughter in laws like her, one of her sons dont speak to her and she has no friends. She is over bearing and tries to tell us what to do. She gets on my husbands nerves too. I try to be nice to her because she is my son's grandmother and I want to do what I can to make things easiest. But living next to her is something I could not deal with.
1 person likes this
@diannebcrs (1549)
• Philippines
11 Jul 07
a lot of my friends are having the same problem because mother-in-laws just can't help themselves. it's like it's only natural for them to be nosy and to try to be helpful even if they're becoming more of a pain than help. it's because they care but they also have to understand that you've got lives of your own and there will just be things that they shouldn't mind. your business should be your business alone, external help may only cause damage.
@ky1119 (698)
• United States
10 Jul 07
Luckily, I have a great mother in law. I don't have to live beside her, she lives in the next town over, but if we did live beside her, she wouldn't be like yours is. She's genuinely interested in our lives and what's going on with us, but no to the extent of being bossy or controlling. My own mother takes on that role and I do believe my husband would put his foot down if I suggested living beside her. I know it's hard to do like I do with my mom because you live beside her, but I eliminate a lot of details as so to save the argument that I don't have to answer to her.
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I could never live next door to my MIL. She is a nice women and I love her a lot. But I am sure we would drive each other crazy being around one another that much. She lives in another state from me and that is the perfect arrangement. It is not just me either, my husband would go nuts being around his mother too much. She has a very large personality, so to speak, and we literally get tired being around her for too long.
1 person likes this
@scarywhitegirl (2766)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I'm not married yet, but I'm not sure I would want to live next door to my future mother-in-law. She's a very sweet woman, and we get along very well, but I think I would get overwhelmed with her sweetness sometimes! I suppose maybe it would be different if we did live next door to her, as a lot of her behavior comes from the fact that we rarely see her, and that my fiance is her youngest child (and only son). But I think that we do appreciate the time we spend with her more since we don't get to spend much time with her at all.
1 person likes this
@tep91005 (375)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I could not handle living next to my mother in law. I hate her plan and simple. She is the worst person I've ever met. She is nothing but fake nice to me. I would rather her be completely vile to me then to be fake with me. My husband knows how aweful she is and he understands why I just can't be around her. I really would have to move if I was around her. I thankfully moved 100 plus miles away from her and I don't have children yet so there isn't a compelling enough reason for her to come see us so I'm in the safe zone right now. We'll see what happens when I have children.
1 person likes this
