We've been left out of the loop, by my youngest stepson.

I know what you mean about it hurting being left out of the loop. I'm a stepmother to 7 kids who all went to live with their birth mother. I wouldnt have minded so much I don't think, but when she left my (now) husband, she took only 3 of the children with her and left the other 4 behind with no warning whatsoever.

I took every hurtful thing they said, I still loved them, fed them and i like to think I gave them a half decent upbringing. When their mother came back on the scene after two years, I let them go back to her as was only proper and what they wanted.

However, from that day forward, they have never contacted me or my husband unless they wanted something and would only then casually drop bombshells on us as they wandered through with their hands out.

Also, my second oldest stepson bobby was in a car accident three years ago and for a long time was little more than a vegetable on a bed. His mother to be fair had the courtesy to tell us but then she paraded her new boyfriend around as bobbys father!

That really made me want to blow my lid. since then they have barely kept us appraised of bobbys progress (hes now graduated to a wheelchair and gets taken outside), they didnt tell us he'd been moved to another hospital until it was already done, they didnt tell us that he can now use cards to communicate because he still cant talk and they dont tell us anything about their daily lives.

It hurts a lot knowing that i tried so hard to help them and now they just want to wander off and leave me and their father out of the loop all the time. I just found out yesterday that my oldest stepdaughter is going to college and while it doesnt sound like much, shes the first of all the kids to go so its kind of important and I want to know about milestones like that but I never find out till its too late.

Nowadays I try to keep the hurt about it inside and just concentrate on my own two because I know that once I say something, I will blow up and thats the last thing any of them need.

i WAS ACTUALLY IN THE SAME SITUATION. My younger brother and his girlfriend we in love. I was living with my wife not yet married. My wife was 8 months pregnant at this time of this event. After she gave birth and we had gotten married I get a call from my mom saying my brother and his girlfriend have a daughter a month older than ours. Noone told us all this time and she was born before my daughter. They knew about out upcoming child yet they never returned the favor telling us about theirs. Oh well. This is the brother that I don't associate with much since I soberred up. His daughter is the niece that I see a lot and took me to the Renaissance Festival. So I have not forgotten them. My brother knows the reason I avoid him nowdays as well.
HAOPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB!!~

It is sad when people are this way. I know a lot of people who don't feel the family ties with step parents like they do with their biological parents, and in most cases the step parents are the ones who raised them and gave them their all. I am sorry that this has happened to you and your daughter. Maybe having a talk with your stepson and explaining that you guys really feel that he is a big part of your family even though his dad is gone might help out. I really don't know, but I wish you the best of luck!

I am really not sure how I would handle this one! Okay my two are half brother and sister but I treat them as natural brother and sister and they love each other so much. I know that there are 14 years between your youngest stepson and your daughter but I don't think that is the reason - it sounds as though he has not always been stable and steady (not having valid phone numbers for instance) and a lot of people tend to be very insensitive before they have children of their own then, when their own children start to grow they realise how thoughtless and selfish they have been toward their own families; I know that happened with me at any rate! You know your stepson better than I do honey an probably know what to say to him better than I do but I would suggest letting him know that he has hurt his little sister! i do hope that things work out sweety - you certainly deserve them to! Hugs xxx

I think I'd feel a bit left out of the loop as well. However, it doesn't help anything to sulk about it. She should talk to them and tell them how she feels, or just write a letter. Sometimes people just don't realize this kind of thing.

I don't think family members in some families are as communicative as they used to be. Heck, since my son moved in with his girlfriend, I hardly hear from HIM anymore lol.

I would call him and ask him why you are being left out of his circle of family.And I would say that you want to be included.

Hello someonesmom!

I have experienced this kind of hurt that you describe, and yet it is hard to describe the hurt. It is just a very deep, very real hurt. It seems to make it worse when I try to express the hurt to the ones who have hurt me, because I somehow feel inadequate to express this, and what I say sounds stupid.

I don't blame your daughter for being upset, hurt, feeling left out. I am sorry for her hurt. I'm sorry that I don't have more to offer.

So sorry that he did this to you and his sister...
I'm sure that your daughter-in-law regrets her decision now considering how it has affected your daughter. I hope things can be rectified somehow!

That hurts! My policy in life is when a person doesn'y want me in their life, so be it. I will not insist that they take me in their confidence but I will also not take them in confidence. I do not want to be hurt and this is my way of coping with that kind of situation.

My stepchildren do not have anything to do with me. Only one of my husband's children acknowlege him. His son disconnected from him. His daughter will send him pity mail with a picture of his grandson attached. We found out she married when "he" received an invitation to her wedding that was 3 months prior to his receiving it.