I am a 28 year old mom and need help with my 11 year old daughter  

Welcome to it hon, lol. Thst's 11 year old girls. But it doesn't mean you have to stand for it. you should make clear in word and action that it will not be tollerated. Make sure she understands that while you will gladly listen to reasonable reasoning for something, that disrespect will not be tollerated and that at the end of the day, you are still the parent. Stand your ground. when I was growing up, an kind of disrespect towards m parents would have been met with swift action in the form of a good swat, lol, even today, i think it still would even with me as an adult.

Wow.. sounds like you have your hands full.

Maybe she should be kept busy looking after her own day to day needs.. like clean clothes.

Why are you striving to please her if she is not behaving with respect? Perhaps she needs to spend some time trying to please you instead? Do you think that maybe you are rewarding her negative behaviour with attention.. not even just that.. but with cowtowing to her whims?

If my daughter is rude and disrespectful and unappreciative, se gets nothing.

Being a mother is a tough job. Why you are pleasing your daughter if she is disrespectful to you? Your daughter should think of her behavior and what she did wrong. Disciple her by taking away her privileges. When she lose that, she will realize her poor behavior results in losing her things for a period of time. Many times when children did something wrong losing their favorite toys, for example, is enough to get your kids behave properly.

Oh my goodness.....I cant believe it. I am 29 and a stay at home mother. I have a 10 year old little girl. I also just had another girl shes 8 months. My 10 year old is so bad. I so feel for you that I want to cry. I really cant help you because I dont know what to do either. Nothing I do gets to her. He talks to me like crap in front of everyone. But when we are alone or we go out she says im the best mother. She also tries to compete with my husband for affection. If we go on outings she tries to dominate the whole thing. She tries to be my 4 year olds mother. Sometimes I want to send her away for a week or too. When she goes to visit her papa its so peaceful. If you figure something out please share. Good luck.

This is not as uncommon as some may think I have heard from several parents they have a behaviour problem with one of their children...the "terror from hell" ,many may say.First of all is their a medical problem with the child and has she been diagnosed by a doctor .If no I would call her teacher and set up a meeting Together at this meeting you could see if this pattern continues at school Then along with the teacher come to an agreement to see what you are going to do The odds for success are rare but it is worth the effort Try to continue to be positive and compliment the child as often as you can to see if you can get anywhere Thanks for sharing Good Luck

Oh boy, that's terrible. I have read about one mom here who constantly shares her rough times with her daughter that literally beats her. I think your daughter should be taught a lesson of respect and obedience. It is time to show her who's the mom. Spank her, she needs it before she will start laying a hand on you. I really think you need to teach your girl a lesson. You might be too tolerant complacent with her so she has abused that complacency. Please show her that you are the boss, she is only your child and if she refuses to cooperate and obey you being her mother, then she better look for another home which could tolerate that kind of behavior.

Sorry to hear that. I'm not too sure if your country got this program called 'Super Nanny'. Is a british made production on teaching badly behaved or ill mannered kids.

If you can, try to get hold of that TV program. It will give insights to you.

I've watched a few episodes of it and usually, kids take control of the parents' Therefore, the parents had to show them who's the boss. If you don't set the boundaries for them, your kids will set the boundaries for you by pushing your limits.

Additionally, it voices down to communication with her. Perhaps she also feel neglected and attention being divided. These are just possibilities.

Watch these programs, it might helps.

Take care and hope that helps. Cheers

it is always a sad thing that children do not love parent, it make parents very sad. Dear hunnie, have you ever though that why your daughter does not respect you? Do no respect parents is not a good daughter, but you can also think why she likes this, whether you have done some thing wrong to her?or others, after all , find out the reasons and then resovel it.

Ah the joys of an 11 year old girl. When my daughter hit that age and started in she got more chores. She became responsible to do her own laundry. She had chores and if they weren't done she didn't get to watch tv or do what she wanted to do til they were done. When she was mouthy, she was sent to her room-even if it meant her chore didn't get done-that was her own fault so she can suffer the consequences. It took time and effort but finally paid off. The worst one was she kept slamming her bedroom door and I finally got tired of it and took the door off of the hinges. She no longer had a door to slam and for an 11 year old girl that likes her privacy, that was a big deal! I allowed her to put the door back up 2 weeks later! She never slammed a door again! LOL Be creative and figure out what bugs her the most if she can't do it and then you have the key to making her behave. It works with patience and effort.

I am also wondering if maybe she isn't a little big jealous of baby brother? Do you do special things with her alone? Make sure to do a few things each month with just her. No baby brother along. Whether its out for ice cream, shopping or what have you she needs mom too! Hang in there, this too shall pass.

I have raised 4 girls and puberty, especially in girls is very tough. Their hormones are raging and they are so darn moody. Keep your cool( i do know that is hard) but do not let her know that she is getting to you...guarenteed that will make things worse. Be firm and don't give in to her in an attempt to "please" her. Sorry mom, but your daughter will probably be hmm...lets say NOT your best friend over the next few years. Pick your battles carefully and hold your ground. This phase does pass and it does get easier.
My youngest is 13 now and my other 3 are all grown. Even the toughest one is now really close to me. She is a sweetheart. She is 21 now but even 3 years ago, I would never have guessed we'd even be friends. Hang in there. You'll get thru this.