Having to choose between your children...

When this happens at our house, I go to one event and my husband goes to the other. I know that the kids want us both at their own special things, but sometimes that just isn't possible. So, the best we can do is to have one of us with one child and the other with the other child. It's not happening so much anymore now. Our school board has cut off a lot of the funding and the schools are no longer allowed to host plays or other events after school hours so the programs are put on during the day time. That makes it especially difficult to get there. I do the best I can to get that day off of work and be there for my kids.

You don't mention the age of your children. This is important because your younger child has probably had fewer things for you to attend throughout the years, whereas you have probably attended more of the older child's. Both are going to be recorded and you will be able to watch them both at some point, though not live. I am curious as to why you favour the music over the play. Why is that more important when you also say your daughter has a group part as opposed to a solo?

Can you tell one you will go to their's next time? It's hard to answer because I don't know the ages or who is older. I am guessing your son is younger because you say it is his only event this year. I think that should be your option if that is the case.

You may want to ask their opinion. They obviously realize you have a dilemma. Last spring I ordered tickets to see Tim McGraw & Faith Hill. After I ordered them I realized it was the same day as my daughter's grade 8 graduation. My daughter wanted me to go to the concert and NOT go to her graduation! That was not an option for me. I sold the tickets.

My kids (11 and 14) understand that I can't be in two places at once. They also know that I am not willing to travel a distance. I don't see very many of my older daughter's Taekwondo tournaments because they are usually out of town. Either her father takes her or she gets a ride with another member of her class. My husband works shift work so he cannot attend all of my kids' events. For graduation he got off work a couple of hours early to attend that. It was an important event.

No one can tell you what to do. Hopefully some of the things I have said will help you to make your decision easier. The older child is more likely to understand than the younger child. Or maybe your son is okay with just his dad being there. Include the kids in your decision-making. If they both want you there and sibling rivalry becomes the trump card, you may have to tell them you will go to neither.

Good luck and where ever you go, have fun. I am sure you are proud of all your children.

I think your first responder hit it right on the head. When both of our boys played Little League Baseball, if their games were on the same day, I would go to one game and my wife to the other. The next time it would happen, we'd switch which sons game we would go to. It worked out great for us.

I would go with the younger child, and ask the older one if you could maybe take a rain check on hers, especially if she will be preforming at other times. His is just this once. I don't really know how parents do these events that clash in times. Maybe one parent go to one and the other parent go to the other.. would be the only other answer.

hey i think then you just sit with your both kids and ask them about their preference. however i know both are equally important to you but you can attend one function and other your husband can attend. or if the places are close by then you can attend half pro gramme and later the other half