Dear Pro Life advocate...

AMEN!!!! I think that birth control is the answer. And education too! I believe that information is the key to a solution. Too many people are having sex without actually knowing what will happen. What are we teaching our youth????

unfortunately, too many children are given "abstinance only" sex education. so it's all or nothing. they either don't have sex, or do have sex without any knowledge about contraception or STDs.

better that they are armed with a full set of facts.

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AMEN,asg! You said it so very well! Every child has the right to life and only GOD Himself decides whether the child should live or die and be with Him.

I need to listen to that song by Ray Bolz. I'm sure it is great. I sang his song, "Thank You" last September for a special service at church honoring my mom for her dedication to the Lord and the church. He is good!

Let's stop the murder!

God bless you!:)

Actually ravenlady, i have been raped before. Fortunately, I didn't get pregnant, but even if i had i would have had the baby. it's not the babies fault that there are sick perverted people in the world. and thank you springlady! your words were very kind and are much appreciated. God bless

I don't care how precious a baby life is...anything born out of such a vile act against another can't be good. If it were my daughter I'd have her down to the clinic before the pee was dry on the stick.

That sounded a bit harsh... or at least smart a$$ed.
I am sorry you had to endure that.

well thank you. i hate that i had to endure that as well, but i do believe that everything happens for a reason. i, myself, couldn't do that because it would go against everything i believe and feel in my heart to be right. thanks again and God bless

"it's not the babies fault that there are sick perverted people in the world"

You're right its not..but its not the victims fault either so why force her into punishment and make her the martyr ya know...

look, we don't agree. let's just agree to disagree and leave it alone. thanks and have a blessed day

Agreed:-)

thank you:-)

"If it were to come down to me or the child living, then i would just have to have faith that God would either save the both of us or that the one that was supposed to go on living would have a great testimony to share with the world. it shouldn't be our decision that decides the fate of a child or an adult, but God's decision. He knows His plans for you and sometimes you just have to believe in that and go on."

I certainly respect that you feel strongly about that in which you believe but that doesn't mean every woman would feel that way. If I had children and/or a husband who loved me and needed me, what should I tell my children, or shouldn't I tell them I had chosen to possibly leave them? It's within your religious faith to leave it in God's hands, but that isn't the case for all of us and the government certainly shouldn't base its laws on the religious beliefs of some. Also, I'm not saying this is how I feel or would feel but how many prospective adoptive parents do you suppose may be reluctant to adopt a child of a rapist? Or do they not have the right to know?
Annie

of course they have a right to know. every adoptive parent has a right to know exactly why the mother is giving the baby up for adoption. and to be honest, a lot of adoptive parents don't care about the situation. they have been waiting so long for a child that is doesn't matter to them whether the woman was raped or there is something wrong with the child. there are so many loving adoptive families out there that want that chance to love a child and to call them their own no matter what the situation. God bless

I think what your doing is awesome. If I didn't have my hands full with my own children, I think I would adopt or foster. Right now it is taking everything that I have to raise the two chilren that I do have.

Thank you for your response. You're doing a great thing. I'm sure you know that.

Kudos to you girlgone! I would love to foster some children and more than that I would love to adopt several kids since we definately have the room....problem is we just dont have the money and with other major things going on in our lives we simply arent able to right now:-(

Major kudos to you girlgonefishing!! I just think people who adopt and foster children are so amazing! You are truly an inspiration.

Kudos to you. You have a truly wonderful heart!

Thanks to all of you for your kind comments.

I hope I'm not too late to add my KUDOS, Hon!
Annie

"By the same token have the pro-choice people ever had an abortion?"

Yes I have and if in the exact same situation I would do it all over again...

As for Dave Pelzer....you can't compare two ppls traumas..what he (and ultimately his brother) went through was horrific, no doubt about that BUT that doesnt make MY personal abuse story any less horrific or the next persons...pain is pain and we all process it, react to it etc etc differently so to say that one persons abuse case was more horrible or devastating than anothers etc just isnt logical...

"I think all the cards should be on the table for this discussion from every perspective"

sorry brainf@rted and didnt finish what I wanted to say.....I agree that all the cards should be put on the table BUT the problem with that is so many ppl are SO set in their ways (especially PL's who refuse to look beyond the act of abortion and into it deeper)...I came from an abusive home and was adopted as well and I can say that before havingn kids of my own and then getting on the road of survival/recovery etc YES I wish I'd been aborted...I also know several other ppl who come from terrible childhoods who feel the same way..but even that isnt a black and white thing....I imagine even Pelzer had those times BEFORE his healing when he wished he'd never been born..tis a natural reaction/response when you come from hell..

Your conscience and your spirit is dead. Anyone who could kill a little baby is a murderer.

But you and he have been healed correct? And I meant no disrespect to anyones tragedy I myself was molested for years. Daves is simply the most horrible example, you know the extreme? But at this point in your life you are glad to be alive? Ill bet you have even contributed to peoples lives in positive ways? I hope you are at peace but I do have one question, do you ever wonder what that child would have been like? Ok two questions, you feel absolutely no regret for the decision? Dont get me wrong I dont think your a monster as some responses have said I simply am very curious. I can not imagine life without my children and I had 5 out of wedlock and on my own for the first 6 years. It was hard for them and me but for me it was the only choice. Thank you for your honest response.

Springady your compassion and heart are then dead if that is what you believe! I HAVE had an abortion many years ago, I won't go into the details as i do not feel I have to justify myself to you but I will say that my mental health was very much at stake if I had continued the pregnancy! I was 7 weeks pregnant and the little baby you talk of was a collection of cells that had no way to develop or survive other than in my womb and my womb wouldn't accept it! I have a conscience and I have a heart and i am there and support many people who need help in many ways as well as loving the children I do have with all my heart and I feel I am a very good mother. I have also suffered several miscarriages (ok then 4) before and after the termination of a pregnancy. Did the person who drove into the back of my car and cause one of them commit murder also? I feel you should look at yourself and stop judging others and coming out with such heartless and nasty remarks!

Shewolf can I comment? I had an abortion almost 20 years ago and of course I mourn that child and wonder what it would have been like and what would have become of us, I really do but I also mourn the children I lost at very early stages of pregnancy. That said life has to move on and I prefer to try to celebrate the children I have and provide them with a good life and help them to become the best they can be! i also wanted to say how sorry I was that you suffered in that way and that I admore the way you have raised our children in what must have been very difficult circumstances! xxx

"But you and he have been healed correct?"

Well yes and no...the healing process is a long one and its not just the child abuse I've had to heal from but there is also no seperating it all if that makes sense..all the tragedies are intertwined...Yes I've come a long way on my healing road but its not over by any means..

"But at this point in your life you are glad to be alive?"

Honestly I'm neither glad nor not glad..I'm just here..but if I were to drop dead tomorrow so be it ya know..I dont look at life as one of those "happy to be alive" things..it just "is"

"Ill bet you have even contributed to peoples lives in positive ways?"

Oh absolutely! Been that way since I was a kid...its what I do and have always done..I'm the soundboard, counselor, protector, teacher etc etc for many ppl..Partly becuase of where I come from..I know what its like to NOT hav someone there for you ya know..

"I hope you are at peace but I do have one question, do you ever wonder what that child would have been like?"

No not at all...What I do wonder about is the son I had to bury which is why I had my abortion...When Tyler died our lives became hell on wheels..We WANTED that baby but after Ty's sudden death things took a drastic turn for the worst and abortion was the best choice for myself, my husband and my two other children..

"Ok two questions, you feel absolutely no regret for the decision?"

Sorry You are at you limit for questions today...come back tomorrow;-) Seirously..no I dont regret it at all..and I'll tell you why..not only did I become suicidal and attempted suicide shortly after his funeral, but my husband who was with our son when he died went into a severe (7 yr long) depression, my 6 yr old son became suicidal and I also had a 4 yr old daughter to care for...We TRUMPED any fetus no matter how much we wanted that baby...our mental and emotional well-being was top priority and thats the bottom line....so no I see my kids now and my husband who is finally 2 yrs out of his depression and I KNOW that it was THE RIGHT choice..

"I can not imagine life without my children..."

Oh neither can I and unfortunately like I said I've already outlived one of my kids..its hellish and a terrible thing to have to bury ANY child let alone your own...

As for being called a monster...LOL ya know what the REALITY is..ppl like that HATE the fact that I'm a strong woman who stands by her decisions and KNOWS what is best for the ones she loves and follows through with it....Ppl like me CAN'T be intimidated or hurt by ppl like them and it drives them nuts...

You ever notice how it's the more religious people who teach not to judge that tend to be the most judgmental? I'm not saying ALL are, but I've noticed that quite a few are. Anyone else notice that?

Shewolf- I just want to thank you for your perpective on this subject. It seems that we often seem to get lost in what WE think is right or wrong and not actually in terms of The feelings of the people involved.

ravenlady and mummymo, thank you for sharing your experiences and your thoughts. i feel for you and i completely respect your decisions and your logic.
i hate that people say things like that comment up above. it's amazing how insenstive and clueless some people can be.

take care.

But would you say that in spite of foster care you are glad to be here?

I think that lots of people would adopt but like myself dont think they could pass the rigorous tests required to adopt. Thanks to the perves who have adopted and abused kids, loving people on a working mans salary can not adopt. I would take in an unwanted child in a heartbeat! But I garuntee our income level and the size of our home would keep us from adopting. Funny though I can give birth to all the children I want no matter income or home size.

Okay, she?

Up there you mentioned putting everything on the table and being curious.

There is a big difference between "listening" to what people have to say and learning from it and simply "waiting for your turn for a rebuttal". It appears to me that you aren't really listening, your just waiting for your turn to make your point again.

Of course you have a right to speak your mind as everyone here in mylot does, but I just had to point out my observation.

"But would you say that in spite of foster care you are glad to be here?"

Actually up until about 6 yrs ago NO I wasn't glad to be here.. in fact I wished everyday that my birth mother would have just learned to swallow or had a damn abortion.

I love how people like to use the money excuse as to why they aren't doing this or that.

Whats stopping you from taking in a homeless teenager or child? Nothing. Whats stopping you from going down to shelters and hospitals and taking care of all the abandon and abused children there?

Its so easy to sit and tell someone else what they should do while you sit at home and do nothing to help those that are already here. You wanna protect life.. thats fine.. start by protecting the ones that are here.

Go out and take in a stray kid.. open you home up even without being paid to... or is that not something you would consider because you don't have time.

You want people to stop having abortions then start teaching children about proper birth control.. start helping these young women who are out there to find other options.

You don't have to always go through agencies to adopt a child.. if you know someone who's pregnant and doesn't want their baby you can help pay for all their medical stuff and have them sign over that child to you at birth. It would be like they were being a surrogate for you or something.


Either way you have no right to tell someone what they can and can't do with their body or judge them because of it, and before suggesting someone add another child to the foster care system help do something about the other few thousand that are already there.

thank you! You have voiced my arguement so well.

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