hating life. hating people around me. i want to be free!
By Popsiecles
@skbh12 (2946)
Philippines
March 5, 2008 5:45am CST
i hate the life i am living right now. why does it always have to be this way? why cant i decide on my own? they even asked somebody to watch over me so they can tell my mom what is going with me. im already 23 and yet i cant really do things i want to do. it is as if im not as free as a bird like the peers that i know. they always try to check things out on me and because of that i am becoming a rebellious person.
yes i know my father is right that i shouldnt really live with the people here in this house. it is like i wanted to go back to my dad. maybe id be more happier and that he would be more understanding than the people here in this house.
i want to go somewhere peaceful. i want to live life on my own already where no one invades my privacy matters. im a human too who can decide things on my own, who knows what is right and what is wrong. if i do the right things then good for me.. if i chose to do the wrong things then it is something that i have to learn about.
why does my life had to run roughly??? i want to be free!!!
1 person likes this
5 responses
@nicksy (178)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
miss, I don't know your background, but this is for sure, prove to them that your RESPONSIBLE and DICIPLINE enough, even though you know it by yourself, but they don't. we are almost on the same age, and i know how you feel, and one way in proving and showing them how good you are is to finish studies (if you're not finish yet), or have a work that is a career worth, and by the time come you have your own money, they cannot dictate you, and realize that you're becoming your own.
you know the filipino culture, how great the family tie, unlike in the states at the age of 18, they let go of thier children.
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
it is okay for them to be protective of me. there's is no problem with it because i know to myself that when the time comes i get to have my own family, id be as protective as i can be to my future kids but not to the extent that im prohibiting my daughter or son to decide on their own.. all i want is freedom. just like a while ago, i asked my mom if i can sleep over at my friends house.. mind you, she is my bestfriend for like 20 years and yet she didnt allow me to. it is like HELLO!!! ILL BE SLEEPING AT MY FRIENDS HOUSE NOT AT MY BOYFRIENDS HOUSE!!! argh.. that is why most of the time i lie to them because they give me spies and simple things such as that they are prohibitin me from enjoying my life.. another thing im already 23, working. im not a kid anymore for them to check out on me.
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
nah.. im not used to talking with my mom with topics like this. im used to keeping everything on my own.. they never listen to what i have to say anyway because they always think that they are right and i will never be right at all.. well, im just waiting for 5 months and ill be saying my goodbyes to my spies.. the sad part is that ill be leaving my boyfriend and my dad behind. well to my fathers part, he can visit me anytime.. but as for my boyfriend, it will take us a long time for him to be able to leave or follow me going to us..
@nicksy (178)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
so you're living only with your mom, right? ask her why is handling you like a convict, hehehe, maybe she was avoiding you with something, or an experience that she don't want to happend to you, as you said your working right now, fir me that a proof that your responsible person in someways, talk to your mom personally and privately.so that it would be clear to you WHY?
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
5 Mar 08
At 23 No one, Not even Your Mom should be dictating anything to you, they can only sell ideas-I can appreciate your sense of resentment-you need your space and this you must get immediately-talk to Mama to dislodge the tight spy network she seems to be setting aound you-how will you get a boy friend if you have spies planted all around you? i think they are being unfair to you and the sooner you talked about it one on one with them, the better!
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
im not a type of person who talks about problems in life with my parents. she doesnt even know when im hurting, happy or whatever i am feeling as of the moment. because everytime i talk it seems like im still wrong. she doesnt really listen anyway. she always thinks she is right just because of the experiences she had with her married life to my father. when in fact, it is me who learned so much from that i have told myself that i will never have a broken family in the near future. i just hate the way they treat me even my relatives help out to spy on me. im so pissed off with them and i hate the things they to me.. argh!!!
i have a boyfriend by the way and still they should learn to trust me because if they continue doing the things that doesnt approve me at all then i am forced to do the things that they wont certainly like. they are just forcing me to do some rebellious acts. they always give me a hard time with dealing my life.
@cooldude_no1 (883)
• Malaysia
5 Mar 08
maybe you should prove them wrong and show to them that you really can be independent. Perhaps not too, judging from what I know of the Filipino family here. Some of the family here are just too over-protected with their kids. Have you ever try to talk to your mum? Does your mum has trust in your boy friend? Perhaps with you two spending more time with your mum, your mum can slowly see how independent and trustworthy you are.
Also, don't care much about what others look and think of you, as long as those few important people in your life doesn't think of you that way (like your mum, bf, family).
Good luck and cheers. =)
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
wow.. you are online?? well i just found out like 15 minutes ago that our care giver is such a b**tch.. she tells my aunt about the things i do and what sees that is happening in this house. i wanna get out of here as soon as possible. i want to live life on my own na. im tired of being watched. im not a kid anymore. yes my life has been a little peaceful but here you go again.. things are beginning to get worse and it pisses me off.. i want to do the things girls with the same age as mine do.. argh!!!! im tired of proving things to my family especially when they are not really helping.. i hate it when they look down on my boyfriend just because im richer than he is. okay i understand what she is trying to tell but hello we are over 1 year and how can she trust my boyfriend if she treats me this way?? argh argh!!! i wanna beat up our care giver for being such a b**tch!
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Nov 09
skbh12 oh my you are 23 and that is an adult. go to your father if it will be better for you but you are now an adult and it is time these people understand that. I went out on my own at 23 and it felt so good to know I could work and take care of myself and really my parents were really understanding. after all baby birds become adults and must fly on their own. so do teens grow up and must start out on their own,it is time to leave the nest for you now. go to your dad. I was on my own at 23 and I never regretted it at all. leave the nest now you have your wings and can now fly for yourself.
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
ill be doing that as well.. thats is what i really want to do live life on my own.. if it is possible for that to happen then i wanted it to happen by tomorrow.. how i wish..
