Grown Men Living At Home  

HaHa...my s/o is 42 and we all live with his parents. After giving birth to 3 of his children, I got tired of living in a separate house so I moved in here since he wouldn't leave....yeah I know, I should have realized it meant something else but at the time I though keeping our family together was important. He sits around while his mom and I do all the work and still finds time to complain if we don't get everything done that he wants done. He lived here for 5 1/2 years before I moved in so this is what he's used to and will probably never change. And when I move out I'm sure he'll stay here continuing to be miserable.

My son lived with us during his first years of college. He's in his own apartment now and I think it's really for the best - he has to do all his own housekeeping, bill paying and cooking etc etc. It's okay to have the kids back to help them get on their feet financially and whatever their age when they need a place to stay - in my opinion. Some kids will be financially responsible and help out when living at home and I actually don't see a problem with them living at home as long as it's amenable to the parents. Other kids get waited on too much, don't save and get lazy - time to get their butts out of the house. whit

Hi there Jane, I can't say that it is right or wrong, but I think it is sad though. His mom may have been dependent or for some reason your husband didn't feel he could leave her alone. His life may have been one where he and his mom doted on one another. It is really sad because he would have and apparently did miss out on a lot.

His being so dependent has to be a burden on you. What if you should die? How would he take care of himself?

Depending on the family dynamics, sometimes the grown child stays to help the parent out financially, and also carries on with his/her life. I stayed with my parents to help them out financially, but I also married and raised a family with my parents being a part of that dynamic. It worked for us.

The stereotype of adult men still living at home is there for good reason. Momma's boys DO exist, and I for one, do NOT want to be involved with one.

I agree, it sounds as though your husband's mother enabled his behaviours for too long. She likely did it out of love, and did not think about how it could affect him in the long term.

Some mothers just really like to coddle their kids, and don't want to let them go, for fear that they may get hurt in the real world, or whatever. Maybe just because they really enjoy looking after them. But that doesn't do them any favours in the long run, not at all.

A parent's job is to teach their child(ren) to be independent, not to be their servant.

Right or Wrong I can not say
But sad for a grown man to
live with mom for that long of a time.
I do not agree with. But I have a friend that
is 44 still lives at home with his mom, he has
never been married or had children. I feel for him
because he is a great guy, he works... But he expects his
mother to do to much for him. She is 78 there is no need in that
and I tell him that all the time. He needs to learn to do his
own clothes, cook for himself. GOOD LUCK with your hubby

I hope he gains more independence, as people never know when life makes a drastic change. Many years ago, my husband was in an accident and on crutches for a long time. He was just the opposite of your husband, as he did everything himself. We had a rocky time in our marriage with everyone telling me what to do and expecting it done quickly.

We had a baby who depended on me first and now I had gained a second child (my husband), who wanted everything now not when I could get there. My brother came for a visit and straightened out my husband quickly. I don't know what he said, but my husband started thanking me and stopped treating me like a door mat.

Good luck and hope your husband treats you perfectly. There is always something most of us would like to change about our spouse, but its not always an easy solution.

Well it is not strange in India to live at home at any age. People used to take over their father's business and lived with their parents even after they got married. Now since sons go out for jobs the parents move with them. We don't leave old parents alone to rot.

Well... I just watched Psycho this afternoon... Hummm, scary!

(Sorry, just kidding!)

It works for some people. I dated a guy once that still lived with his mom and it worked well for them.

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I believe you are correct in your judgements and sometimes we feel guilty when we have to see our love ones other than perfect.I have a brother now 43 living with my elderly parents and is totally disrespectful to them.He has never lived on his own and was diagnosed with schitzophrenia earlier in life.It may be more common than we realize.