Divorce By Smith & Wesson 38 Special
By Sparks
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
Regina, Saskatchewan
April 3, 2008 11:24pm CST
Tonight has been quite the night in my house.
As most of you know, I'm doing the divorce dance.
The SO(B) won't move out, and figures that it gives him the right to get pissy.
Well tonight my son (not my SO's son) finally lost his temper and in a quiet deadly voice, told the SO(B) off.
So I have decided that some men warrant divorce by Smith & Wesson 38 Special.
For those of you who don't follow popular cop shows, that's the kind of gun most policemen use.
I'm not saying that I condone a bullet to the brain, but it's nice to dream.
I figure it this way. If the ex is left alive, the potential to aggravate me into an early grave over the course of the rest of my life is a given. But if the ex is six feet under, I can do the happy dance and get on with my life, aggravation free.
Which would you choose?
Unfortunately I live in a country that frowns on dealing with these matters in this way. Bummer. So much for enlightened government! lol
Don't get me wrong - I don't hate the SO(B), I just want to get on with things without his shadow following me around and blotting out the sunshine of my life.
I take comfort in knowing I have a great lawyer and solid terms in my divorce papers. What worries me, is what is going to happen when the SO(B) sees them for the first time. The sparks are sure to fly then!
I guess to make this a discussion instead of a whine, I'll have to ask you a question. How about....Would you be able to hold on to your sense of humor during a messy divorce?
4 people like this
5 responses
@tessah (6617)
• United States
4 Apr 08
my divorce wasnt messy.. mainly because i walked away with the statement "id rather have just some of my stuff, than any part of you" i had always introduced him to others as "my first husband" , he shouldve had a clue this was how itd end up.
the only thing youll buy yerself with a .38 special divorce, is another prison. the kind with ironbars, and guards that tell you when you can pee. not exactly my idea of a decent solution.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 08
I don't even own a S&W, nor would I know how to get one, short of seducing a cop and stealing it from him, which would put me in prison before I got to use the darn thing - so, hmmmmmmmmmm, I guess the frozen orange to the head solution is best, because then I can eat the evidence! LOL
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Neither of my divorces were messy, Spark, thank goodness. The second one was actually kind of fun. I hadn't seen him in a few years, and he looked so completely adorable, and I was really happy that we were there getting the thing, so it wasn't altogether unpleasant at all. But I realize that I am a rare exception in this matter. Tangled divorces are so awful, and I feel so much for you, having to go through this. It just sucks. And, no, I don't think I'd be able to hang on to my sense of humor. That would take a bit more than I have in me, I think. I don't know how you're going to do it, darlin, but if anyone can, you can. You've got such determination and are a true pit bull when it comes to things you want, so you're gonna make it, for sure. Keep the .38 locked up tight. Don't create too much temptation for yourself. And definitely get him into the RV asap. Out! Damn spot!
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 08
Nova my love, if you and I ever tie the knot under the apple tree, I swear that I will never give you cause to divorce me and you can have custody of the Smith & Wesson! LOL Thanks for the encourgement, and yes "out d*mn spot, out I say".
1 person likes this
@smacksman (6053)
•
4 Apr 08
Careful he doesn't get the same idea and beats you to the draw!
You must have loved him once so wouldn't it be easier just to remain friends? It would make the whole deal a lot easier.
You did say you had a good sense of humour so that's a start.
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 08
Oh gosh, I never thought of being beaten to the draw! LOL Won't happen. He's all talk and no action, so no worries there.
And without my sense of humor, we wouldn't be able to remain friends and I so hope that we can. We'll see, because basically that will up to him.
1 person likes this
@Linda4ualways (2282)
• United States
4 Apr 08
You know life is very hard at times and whenyou can laugh at something funny or smle, then you are good. I have been going through a few dramas in my life, but when I'm at work, you wouldn't think I had problems because of the way I am when I'm here. I smile, laugh, flirt, and doing those things take my mind of off my problems, until I get home of course. But yes, you are capable of holding on to your sense of humor. It's therapy! Don't kill no one and I wish you and your family the best.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 08
You are right Linda - laughter is great therapy. Being able to smile even over little things helps keep a lot of negativity from our lives or taking them over completely. I'm also waiting on early widowhood, which believe me will not come by my hand, but his own with the way his drives up his blood pressure. You know, I can't really remember that last time I saw HIM smile.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 08
oh my I do doubt it as I have a veryquick temper and in the circumstances you describe I would probably have to literally bite my tongue to keep from yelling at the SO{B} but hope I would try to find my sense of humor rather that stoop to his level.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
7 Apr 08
Hey Hatley. It's my sense of humour that keeps me from yelling at him - well that, and the fact that he can yell louder and drown me out, and that hurts my ear drums, so I don't bother! lol
