The Power To Forgive... Do You Have It?  

Awwwww, Congratulations, my friend. I hope all goes well for you. Yes, I understand how pregnancy can affect the emotions, and I wouldn't recommend this situation at the moment!

So, if you can forgive, but not forget, how would you cope? I mean, would you keep harping on about the hurt, or would you just keep it to yourself, put it behind you and carry on as before you were hurt? Then, if you did that... would you fling it up again, the next time you felt pain from this person?

Interesting, to say the least. Brightest Blessings and all best wishes for the birth of your little one. x

I may still bring it up but I try not to. I know its not good to keep it bottled inside but thats just what I try and do I dont like to fight.

No, I don't either. It's very difficult not to bring it up in the future though, I guess, but then, probably neither of us would give a third chance, huh?

It's not easy to forget, I admit, but I'll ask you the same questions as I did Minnie, if you don't mind too much.

If you can forgive, but not forget, how would you cope? I mean, would you keep harping on about the hurt, or would you just keep it to yourself, put it behind you and carry on as before you were hurt? Then, if you did that... would you fling it up again, the next time you felt pain from this person, or do you think you could control it?

Brightest Blessings and thank you for your conribution.

You misunderstood, my friend. I don't have anything I'm struggling to forgive at the moment. However, I feel I have been gifted with the power to forgive, and to apologise. I never harbour a grudge. I put the hurt behind me, and resolve the matter at my soonest opportunity. Thus, I learn to grow in spirit.

I doubt any one of us can hold our hand up and say we're the same person we once were, because we will all have learned the lessons we've encountered in life, and grown accordingly. Wisdom is a great thing, my friend, as is anger management. It can all be achieved, if we take the time to learn.

Brightest Blessings, and thank you for your contribution.

No I said in the end of my response, if this is something you are struggling with
I didn't say it was you, but ifit was you. I am sorry I guess I should have left this alone, sometimes my words get fumbled and it doesn't come out as I want it to, so brightest blessings to you also and have a great evening.

No, it's no problem my friend. It's just as likely I read it wrong. Don't leave because of this, please. I value your response

I've checked, and see it was me who read it wrongly, not you who fumbled your words. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, my friend... I didn't wish to upset you, by any meaning of the word.

Take care, and thank you for showing me my error. x

Darkwing it is okay I am not leaving, but I thought I had offended you and I wouldn't do that for nothing....I am sorry if I sounded like I was mad, cause I surely wasn't. I'm here to make friends, not scare them away from me...LOL
I do get so fumbled in my words sometimes and after I proof read it after it is posted I cannot go back and change it and I say OOPS! Did I do that...heheLOL:)
Darkwing you have a blessed evening!

Lol @ "Oops, did I do that?" That was funny, my friend. I think we ought to have the facility of editing after posting, here. I didn't think you were mad at me for understanding, on the contrary, I was upset that I had apparently upset you. I sometimes have difficulty wording my discussions as well, so I knew how you felt.

I'm going to send you a friend request, as soon as I post this, which I hope you will accept. I'll just explain that I'm not Christian, although I was christened early in life, but that's something that shouldn't come between us, because I respect
everybody's beliefs, and I feel that none of us is wrong in what we believe. In fact, I like to learn about all religions, as I feel all basic beliefs stem from the same roots.

So, if you can accept me under those terms, I'd be very happy to get to know you better, and support you at all times. x

OOOPS typo! lolol. for *not understanding you.

Of course I would accept a friend request from you, in fact I see it up there and I am off to accept it right now.
Just because you are not a Christian doesn't mean I can't be your friend, now what kind of Christian would that make me to not accept you.
I am happy to have you for a friend.
Thanks for the request

Thank you very much, and yes, you are a true Christian with solid beliefs, my friend. x

Thank you Darkwing....HUGS

You're welcome, and hugs back atcha! x

I admire you for being so open and honest, my friend. You're not an exception at all... there are many with the same difficulties. It's not a bad thing... you are still learning the lesson. It takes some of us longer to grow in spirit than others, but you'll get there, with wisdom and foresight.

I'm not Christian, so I don't take the lesson from the crucifixion, but from looking deep inside myself, deep into my soul and inner Self. It takes practice, just like the lessons we all encounter, but I'm happy with my inner Self and that's the root of my power to forgive.

Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution, my friend.

Yes, I agree with all of that, my friend. Whether they accept is their problem, once you've admitted you're at fault and apologised. As you say... what more can you do. I then chalk it up to it being their loss, and move on in the same way.

Your final paragraph interested me, because I don't understand that either. If you have done something to offend somebody, so that they avoid you, and you try to put it right, why can't they tell you what the problem is? It's far better out in the open and resolved, I feel.

Oh well... it takes all sorts, my friend. None of us is wrong when it comes down to it... it's just that we learn the lessons of life in different ways. Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution, my dear friend. x

You made me laugh there, my friend, when you said you forget easier than you remember. I like your style!!

Yes, everybody does have their own way of looking a things, and I agree that we should not judge. In fact, I feel if we show them how calm and considerate we can be in the face of a yelling match, then they learn from us, and possibly decide that it's better to be that way. I have no qualms with that, it's all about growing in spirit. I don't like dispute of any kind... I strive for harmony in my life... it's a Libra trait that I'm stuck with, but can't say that I dislike. If I can do my bit towards bringing harmony all around me, then, I'll be happy.

Thank you for your very well thought out contribution, my friend. There's a lot of sense in what you say... Brightest Blessings.

I guess that's good enough reason, but even if he cheated on you, and hurt you badly?

Brightest Blessings, and thank you for your contribution.

I guess, in relation to your last point, it depends on a person's values, but... and I'm only giving my opinion now... if I'd been hurt by something I knew was fact, I'd want to know why, and would want to try and salvage something that I'd really put my heart into. Maybe I'd done something wrong myself, to invite the hurt? Where does the benefit of the doubt come in? Walking away doesn't really resolve anything, to my mind; it's still simmering inside both partners.

I agree that life is too short to bear grudges, but not discussing things seems to be a sign of submission to hurt, rather than a cure. I couldn't give up so easily, on something I'd once treasured so strongly... move on, and I haven't forgiven, I've opted out, without even attempting to resolve the problem, which would suggest that I didn't hold any value on the relationship anyway.

Sorry... I'm not saying your way is wrong, and I'm not saying mine is right, but this discussion is showing me that we all have different ways of handling things, which action will give us comfort and freedom from pain. I respect yours, because that's your way, and I thank you for your contribution. Brightest Blessings my dear friend. x

Awwww, sweetie, it doesn't do to forgive and still have a hurt or fear inside to deal with, when it's not your fault in the first place. If they asked me for forgiveness and wouldn't talk things through, I think I might lay down a few ground rules, like, "Ok, I'll forgive you this time, but if it happens again, we either need a serious talk, or to part company." That way, you've let go of the fear of meeting them again, my friend.

I just tend to forgive them, and put it down to them hurting themselves more than me. I won't worry about meeting them again, and I'll treat them just the same as I always did when I do meet them, but I won't go out of my way to make arrangements with them any more. As you say, they would have to come to me. If they're any sort of a friend, they'll find there's a hole in their life, and they will come back.

I agree, when hurting somebody else, it's best to apologise and ask for forgiveness, just to clear the air. Admitting that you're wrong and apologising is an art, and gains you respect my dear friend.

Brightest Blessings and thank you for your contribution.

Hi Darkwing! I know you are right because my husband tells me the same thing. Thanks for pointing it out to me also. Take care and have a nice day!

Thank you, my dear friend. It's good to see that you believe in your hubby so much that you can accept when he tells you your faults, even if they're good faults in essence.

Take care, special person! x

Yes, I agree, talking is cheap and effective. It's very important to listen as well as talk, and weigh up both sides, without losing one's cool.

Sorry is not that hard a word to say, I've found, when a relationship or friendship relies on it.

Brightest Blessings my dear friend and thank you for your contribution. x

This is a very interesting to me today. Due to the fact I am in an argument with a friend who I have forgiven at least five times in the past. This last time I told him that the slate was clean but if he hurt me again I would never speak to him again. Well not two months later he did it again and this time I confronted him immediately and he hasn't said a word. So I am assuming we are through even though he never says goodbye or anything else As far as I am concerned he is a mouse not man but thats another discussion So do I feel that you can forgive yes you can it sometimes takes time to heal but when the other person isn't talking it is kind of hard to get closure on the subject

Sorry Tina, that I've been so long coming back on this. for some reason, I didn't receive notification that it was here, but better late than never.

I agree with you, that there's only a limited number of times you can forgive. If the person you've forgiven insists on doing you wrong, then their worth eventually fades. I think you've made the right decision, and yes, when they won't talk, it does make things difficult. I want to shake them sometimes when they get that way.

Brightest Blessings, and welcome to Mylot, my friend. I hope you make lots of nice friends here, and earn a little bit of cash on the way. x