Killing them with kindness.

When I sold used cars, a lot of times people would have buyer's remorse and get upset and hate me right after the sale. After a couple of months (because they paid weekly), they would begin to like me and even send me referrals.

I can't think of any specific examples of when I've done this, but I've done it, Bella, for sure, many times in my life. It can work so beautifully too and leave the person speechless or so flustered, it's a wonderful thing to see happen. It also keeps you on the high road and gives you the upper hand too, because it so throws the receiver off balance. If you can do it, 'cause it's hard, it's a great way to respond to meanness or cruelty or just general bad-tempered people. Good discussion, Bella, you should get some good responses to it.

when someone is intentionally attempting to cause pain and upset.. im not a turn the other cheek kind sort of person. these sorts are looking for, wanting, a reaction from you. turning indifferent and not giving it.. not giving ANYthing, is the best payback there is. sides.. Karma does more than i could ever possibly dream of in my wildest violent fantasies anyways!

I do think that love is the only thing that conquers hate. However, if someone is abusing me I'd find it hard to kill them with kindness. But I'd be polite to them and go on with my life rather than engage with their hate. Life is just too short.

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I think it puts an end to an arguement, you can't argue if someone is standing there smiling at you. It takes two to argue.
I don't think it'd kill them because you're being kind while they are being jerks, it just makes THEM realize what jerks they are.

No I have tried this & it only makes then more angry. I found out the best thing to do is to ignore them completely. What goes around comes around & it will be their turn next.

Hello bellaofchaos!:-)

I have done it, my friend, especially when abuse, misconduct or mistreatment is directed just towards me. Although, I also understand that it's easier said than done thing. It has been effective sometimes, and other times it wasn't. But, I never did it to kill or to embarrass or to put someone down. I did it for what it is, kindness and graciousness, that I so love to practice whenever I find it possible within my framework.

There are people who are my friends now but were fierce enemies before. Usually, I helped them out in some way where they were either stuck or were in problem, sometimes with their knowledge and other times without letting them know, but they came to know somehow. Almost all those people are my friends now and quite a loyal ones at that.

There was a boy in my neighborhood, who also attempted on my life, it was all dirty there with all that student politics and territorial superiority. When his father died, I went to condole, alone and without any weapon, which though made me vulnerable, and he WAS a little shocked seeing me there like this but he melted and cried on my shoulder after we had have conversation going. We have been in good terms ever since and he has changed a lot, already.

I was always taught that too. I've also heard the saying "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer". I tend to just stay away from ppl I don't like...that way I don't have to deal with them at all.

**AT PEACE WITHIN**

~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

You don't know what people have been through. You are kind because you are, not rude because they are. People only learn from example, when your actions do not mimic theirs.

I had issues with some girls in highschool. They'd stare weird, I hear them say my name and giggle, but when they talked to me and acted nice (I realized maybe they did want to be my friend, and maybe they were mean for other reasons, they didn't really know who I was yet anyway, and I was going to show them)

So when they would talk to me, even knowing they may have said stuff, I'd talk to them. Usually these were the people who didn't pay attention in class, because they didn't understand. But I did. When I ended up near them, they were wary of my presence but when I realized they were trying in class, and I could hear their questions and they were confused, but trying, that's when I'd say hey, this is what we're supposed to do.

I think they were so used to the "smart" kids, ignoring them and thinking they were dumb and disruptive, instead of realizing that they were people with questions. I didn't make them feel stupid, and I didn't just give them the answers. I let them know, that I am a kind person, and I will help people who actually need it...

I think that's what some of them wanted more than anything, someone who genuinely, wanted to help them...