I feel so stressed staying with my boyfriend
By yenwie84
@yenwie84 (1344)
Malaysia
July 6, 2008 6:03am CST
These few days,my boyfriend had been so weird.He said he stressed up because of work so he killed his time by gaming online. He always keep quiet since then and gaming until 3am at least. I faced communication problem with him,after sometimes I felt like I got nothing to talk to him.Although we are staying under the same roof but we like strangers,he has been doing his own things and so do I. I am really stressed,I feel like want to move out,I feel like want to leave him....what should I do?
2 people like this
2 responses
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
6 Jul 08
I think you need to find a hobby! And realize that you can do things on your own even though you are with someone. My s/o works a very stressful job, and there are times he wants to talk about it and other days he comes home, and plays games on his computer for a while, or watches tv. When he comes home I can tell pretty quickly what kind of day he had and whether he will talk about it or unwind by playing games. When he opts for the games, I either do my scrapbooking, or get on my computer, but I leave him to unwind and 'deal' with it, He knows I'll sit and listen if or when he wants to talk about it, or anything else he wants to talk about. If you are feeling like you want to move out or leave him, maybe you should ask yourself......do you really love him? Sometimes people need time to themselves, it can be hours, days, etc. And the best thing we can do is give them that space, and let them know we are here for them.
@yenwie84 (1344)
• Malaysia
6 Jul 08
Yes,what you said here was similar as what he told me last night. He asked me to give him sometimes because he needs time to adapt with the job. He was just being transferred to a new branch,the workload has increased a lot compared to the previous one. Maybe I should be more patient on this matter. I really love him very much but sometimes when I am having my mood swing,I tend to throw my temper on him. I an wondering whether I am doing the right thing or I am being so childish on this matter. I find it so hard to sort out a way for me and him.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
6 Jul 08
Just be patient and give him time to adjust to his new position at work. The worst thing you can do is get mad and take it out on him, he doesn't want to come home from a stressful day at work just to hear you complain and fuss about it. The one thing I have always done for my s/o is make sure that home is his safe haven, where he can unwind, and have no drama, he gets enough of that at work. Try getting a hobby, there are so many and there is always ways to do a hobby without spending a lot of money. I do scrapbooking and love it, it's relaxing and I can do it for hours, I also have orders for a girl's softball team, individual scrapbooks for the players. So now I have that to add to my scrapbooking to keep me busy. I can't do it for as long as I would like at the moment, I injured my wrist at work, so can't work on them as long as I would like. I think if you find something to occupy your time when he needs some down time to himself, you will both benefit from it.
@missa405 (290)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
You should tell him exactly how you feel. Definitely sit down and have a serious discussion with him about how you feel disconnected. He probably feels the same way or there could be something bothering him. Maybe you could do a weekly date night where you two go out to dinner and a movie(or whatever you decide). Start cooking together and just do things to make you two closer.
