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What do you do when a friend hurts your feelings? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend5 months ago

If your best friend did something to hurt your
feelings, how would you handle the situation?

Would you call her and try to settle
the situation or work things out?

Do you wait for your friend to make the
first move and apologize?

 
 
friend
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CatsandDogs (3370) response was accepted on 7/31/2008.
denotes best response.
tags:  hurt, feelings, friends, friend, my life
 
1. myLot reputation of 53/100. somiran (127)   ranked 5,351 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

i do nothing but make my work right way . do not any thing per mouth but but job i can say the thing what want to say her/him . of course not hurting him


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

Best to be a peace maker!

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2. myLot reputation of 91/100. ellie333 (5628)   ranked 56 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

Hi Beautyqueen, I always confront the situation head on though it happens rarely, once a friend sent me a text saying someone had got married. I phoned her immediately and told her that I thought she had been very insentive to send me a text as she knew I still had feelings for him she immediately apologised profusely saying she just hadn't thought. We all do this at times to people we are close to without realising a lot of the time. I don't wait for them to realise and apologise ever and if I have ever done anything to upset someone I would expect them to confront me too. If I realise before they have called or told me that I have upset them I will say sorry immediately. Ellie:D


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

I'm the same way!
Matters always get worse when allowed to fester.

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3. myLot reputation of 93/100. Ruthep (3928)   ranked 876 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

It would depend on whether or not it was deliberate.
Most times I just keep to myself for awhile and just work it out in my head and then just let it go.
I have never had a friend purposely hurt my feelings.
Most times I am just being overly sensitive and I have to work it though myself.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

You know me. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
cry


myLot reputation of 93/100. Ruthep (3928)   ranked 876 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

better than a heart of stone

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4. myLot reputation of 95/100. danishcanadian (15137)   ranked 1,680 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

If I am te offender I think that I should be the one to apologize, ut if I am the offended, then it is not up to me to apologize. Why should I apologize for something that I did not do? I will explain to the person how I felt, ad why I felt that way. If we ca settle it, good, but if not, that that's one test our friendship could not pass. My friends and I really don't have this problem because we all know eachother well enough.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

That's good!

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5. myLot reputation of 93/100. 1grnthmb (1461)   ranked 423 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

I have a hard time with this. I hold grudges. If they do something wrong to me I just retreat. I guess I am just to stubborn to be the one to solve the problem.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

Secretly everyone holds grudges! It' human nature
to hurt for a long time. And then one day you are over it
and move on.

 
6. myLot reputation of 93/100. gemini_rose (8818)   ranked 152 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

If a friend hurt my feelings then I am damned if I go crawling to them, I used to, I would do it all the time. But then I learnt my lesson because I would just be going back for more of the same. Now I let anyone come to me, if they do not then that is the end of it.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

Either way you should not have to crawl.
If a simple heart felt apology will not do for a friend,
then that is not your fault!

 
7. myLot reputation of 95/100. Shaun72 (11361)   ranked 838 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

If I feel like it is there fault I wait for a few days to see if they will call back if not then I might try to call to work things out. If it is a fight and I realize I was the one at fault then I will call and apologize. Which I am proud to say I can't remember the last time I got into a argument with a friend. I hate arguments and fights although they do happen.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

I'm the same way. Arguments give me a headache
and make me feel drained. So I never try to argue
with friends or family!

 
8. myLot reputation of 98/100. KrauseHome (8777)   ranked 63 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

Well, about 3-4 months ago, I said something to someone who I considered a Good friend to where she was really mad at me, and did not want to even talk to me. I felt really bad, and tried to apologize right away, but for me, it has taken a little time for her to want to really even talk to me. Now she is getting a little more friendlier and I can joke and talk again, but I still miss the old times of getting together once in a while with her and her 2 boys, and having a Fun time. I still get hugs from her boys from time to time, and I am sure they have wondered what is up as well. I am still hoping somehow we can at least gain some of the Good friendship we once had back, but if it never comes, then I have learned something from this as well.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

My best friend ever from way back
still won't talk to me and she won't tell me why!
She made up some lame story that made no sense.
Still don't understand her logic.

sadcryangry

 
9. myLot reputation of 93/100. OreoCookie3 (14358)   ranked 80 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

My best friend probably would never know she hurt my feelings. She did hurt my feelings in April, and I have never told her or called her on what she said. I just let it fester within me until I let it drop. It doesn't bother me anymore. I know what she said, she didn't say to be mean. She said "you're still a dunce" that hurt.. that implied to me that she always thought I was stupid. I never said anything about it to make her feel bad for saying it.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

OMG! I would have died. First I would have cried.
I'm so tender with people that I'm close to.
They always know up front they have hurt me
cause I can't help but cry.

Online tears don't show.
crycrycry

 
10. myLot reputation of 93/100. Goodie123 (7274)   ranked 8 out of 8,148 in friend   5 months ago

I actually have no offlines friends.
Of the ones I did have a few did hurt my feelings.
They never ever did come back and apologize,
So as far as I am concerned they are no longer friends.

Of all the online friends I have,
Only one has ever hurt my feelings.
I do not think they even realise what they have done.
So I just let it slide and carried on as normal.


myLot reputation of 90/100. beautyqueen26 (7955)   ranked 145 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

OK! But if it was me, then I do apologize!
And if the friend never apologizes, then
let me apologize for them. cry


myLot reputation of 92/100. galadr1el (625)   ranked 1,277 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

I hope it wasn't me.:(


myLot reputation of 93/100. Goodie123 (7274)   ranked 8 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

It was neither of you 2 lovely people my friends.
I could not see either of you hurting anyones feelings.
Actually what happened to me online,
I think I should have said it more rude, then hurting my feelings.


myLot reputation of 92/100. galadr1el (625)   ranked 1,277 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

Whew! I don't think I'm ever rude, at least not intentionally.


myLot reputation of 93/100. Goodie123 (7274)   ranked 8 out of 8,148 in friend  5 months ago

I see you have reached your first star, congratulations.
that did not take you long, it took me almost a month to get my first star.

 
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